Top 10 articles we'd never see in the WT or Awake.

by dustrabbit 13 Replies latest social humour

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  NewWay

  Announcements You'll Never See In Any Watchtower Or Awake! (In Chronological Order)

  1. Bro. Russell Buys Into Pyramid Scheme.
  2. Bro. Rutherford Calls In Police To Remove Bored Members.
  3. Release Of New Brochure: 'Millions Now Dead Will Never Live.'
  4. Bro. Knorr Explains The Missionary Position To Governing Body Members.
  5. Release Of 'The New World Transmogrification Of The Harassed Sheep.'
  6. All Brothers Are To Wear Beards In Imitation Of Jesus Christ.
  7. New In-House Computer Software: MEDS (Multiple End-of-world Date System).
  8. Society Discusses 'Net Prophet' - The Official Web Site Of The WTB&TS.
  9. Society Announces That Computers & ISPs Are The New Pathway To Enlightenment.
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  Mister Biggs

  The Watchtower:

  -Sexy Sister of the Month (Centerfold Commemorable Keepsake Photo) - Pages 17 & 18

  The AWAKE!

  -Watching The Worldly (NEW! Replaces Watching The World)...This week's tip: How to be less uptight. An interview with a cool worldly guy! - Page 28

  Edited by - Mister Biggs on 21 June 2002 15:18:35
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  NotBlind

  The Watchtower, January 1, 2003:

  Jehovah's Witnesses and the United Nations: Gettin' in Bed With the Harlot
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  MoeJoJoJo

  An In Depth Look At Mind Control and How It Works (Effectively)

  Your Donations-The True Tale of What Are They Used For and How They Are Spent? (complete with balance sheet)