by dustrabbit 38 Replies latest jw friends
What's the silliest thing you ever heard a JW say?
(Besides, the possible, "Anything they say is silly." Be spcific.)
My personal favorite: An elder once said to me at a circuit assembly back in the eighties (and why i don't remember...maybe i was smirking): "You think the Devil is weak? Satan could be demonizing your pair of scissors you bought at a garage sale. Think!....those scissors are deadly!"
the dustrabbit
Edited by - dustrabbit on 10 June 2002 12:28:14
One of the 'amazing facts to prove how brill Jehovah is' that was listed during a public talk was obviously wrong:
Did you know brothers, that there are more brain-cells in a human brain than there are atoms in the universe?
Simple logic: the brain is made out of those atoms in the universe and they are not all used in one brain. duhuh!
I think he must have read somewhere about there being more possible combinations of connections in your brain ...
This was yeeeeears ago but I recall at the service meeting some "brother" giving a Q&A part about finding satisfaction in the door to door ministry. He asked some question (can't recall it) but he calls on a self-righteous / wacko elder (brother ken R...you know who you are) who begins his comment with "It's just like the Rolling Stones song 'I Can't Get No Satisfaction' "... There was dead silence in the Hall, which was then broken with the laughter of my brother and myself along with finger pointing and "what a dork" comments. lol
Well, a year or two ago, my cousin (cousin in law, actually), the foremost elder in the congregation, decided to give a physics lesson. Whatever possessed him to do this, I'll never know, considering that the extent of his physics consists of old Star Trek episodes.
Anyway, after asking the audience for a brief summary of the theory of relativity, which was answered wrong, then corrected (by me), he asked the question "what would happen if you travelled faster than light?" No one put up their hand. He said "you end up in a place where light has never been." He then cited Star Trek as the source of his information.
To this day, I cannot figure out what point he was trying to make. But it impressed the heck out of an audience filled with elementary school grads.
One other incident: My dad and I were doing field serivce another dumbass elder shortly after the "Return of the Jedi" came out. Dad mentioned to him about how I felt that my parents had to get rid of their Moody Blues LP because it had a wizard on the front cover. (Of course, my father didn't tell him in response to their throwing away all my Star Wars stuff b/c Yoda was doing levitation in the 2nd Star Wars movie...)
So, Brother P asks me: So, Justin what you do if I offered you something that everyone has but it has an occult symbol on it?"
Figuring this was a trick question, I told him, "No way...it's what Satan would want me to do."
Bro. P takes out a dollar bill from his pocket and shows me the pryamid on the back. "So you don't like moeny? But it's Satanic!"
Unexpectedly, I grab the dollar bill out of his hand...and as the saying goes, "A Fool and his money...."
the dustrabbit
Hi Dustrabbit,
Heaven must be a boring place when a demon rather be in a pair of scissors or pigs than heaven. What would a demon do in a pair of scissors?
Ken P.
The end will come before the end of the 20th. century.
Ken P.
Undecided: Yeah, no s#$%!...I wondering that at the time. What was it (the scissors) going to do? Fly up and stab me, a la "Poltergeist"? Cut my hair off? Think, man, think!
the dustrabbit
Oh God I dont even know where to begin with this one.
Over a period of 20 years being a JW I heard some VERY stupid comments from rather uneducated people.
Lets's see:
Fire is hot because Jehovah God made it that way. (an excellent explanation of science, forget laws of nature, that answer is sufficent to a Dub) bold mine
Saddam Hussein is Satan's agent on Earth to instigate the battle of Armaggedon. (thought Satan could do it himself? and false prophesying again are we?) bold mine
Boas are fluffy serpents and demonic which is why you never see a "sister" wearing something filled with such debauchery. (an old sister said that, to this day I do not understand her reasoning, but even the pink ones like Rodman used to wear? wow.. demonic) bold mine
Sexual attraction is a snare and a racket and Jehovah will remove that tendency in the new system because when resurrected wives and husbands meet they wont be together like that anymore. we might even be without genitals like the angels. (same old sister in field service, she was a weird one. I chalk it up to her being lonely though) bold mine
Those are just the ones that come to the top of my mind. There are many more, and I am sure I will think of them later.
One thing is for certain, JW's certainly have a very unique way they look at the world, and at times in retrospect it can be quite amusing to see that so many people convince themselves of this BS.
Actually, when JW's make comments like the ones above, they do not realize they are actually "de-witnessing" to many people, because it makes a person with any intelligence at all realize how extreme and fanatical they are.
Just my 2c.
I was at a door one day with a brother who was, shall we say 5 cans short of a six pack, when the householder asked him if he thought he was a good JW. The brother promptly and without shame answered, "I'm the best Jehovah's Witness in the religion."
Nuff Sed!
