what's the silliest....

by dustrabbit 38 Replies latest jw friends

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  Reborn2002

  Eyegirl-

  Your comment brought back another priceless memory for me.

  My grandparents and my mom took my older sister on vacation to New Mexico circa 1971. (my sister was 3 years old at the time)

  The story I was relayed by my sister was my grandfather told my mom time and again that:

  your daughter (his granddaughter) would never live to see high-school age in this system of things.

  My sister is now 34.

  Funny thing is, it would be another 9 years before I was even born.

  I graduated from college in 1999.

  So much for my OLDER sister never seeing high-school, much less ME.

  Experiences like these make me wonder how someone who was a JW during the 70's can in good conscience remain a JW after knowing that the WTBTS has prophesied falsely.

  I chalk it up to fear of losing family, maintaining status-quo, and indoctrinated ignorance.

  Im loving these stories, I hope to read more.

  Edited by - Reborn2002 on 10 June 2002 14:23:57
• 

  SoulJah

  Befofe my father would administer his form of theocratic dicipline [10 lashes with his belt for every F, 9 for D's {school grades}] He would say: This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you!

  Aaarrrggghh; still can't figure out his reasoning on that phrase
• 

  bonovox

  This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you!

  Wow, was that a line that was fed them to use or something? My mom said the same thing! I always felt like saying "mind if I check?"!!!
• 

  jack2

  Once during a part on the Theocratic School, presented during a Circuit Assembly, a brother was giving a talk on the book of Lamentations. He said that the women eating their children back then, during the siege on Jerusalem by Babylon, find a parallel today in that...get a load of this....women today "eat" their children by putting them in day-care centers. Unbelievable.
• 

  Incense_and_Peppermints

  An elder held up a green bible and said that if the society tells me this bible is blue, then I'll believe its blue!

  sounds dangeroursly like "two and two are five".

  that's some scary s---

  thank god for the proletarians!
• 

  mouthy

  eyegirl.. i read your post & got a very red face. I used to tell my daughter she would never go to kindergarten.

  She died from breast cancer at 43 yrs of age. leaving 3 kids -twins of 12-boy of 14.

  But I am happy she "saw the light" before dying- she knew the lies !! when she was in it ( as a sweet little girl) she used to always talk about the elephant she was going to get in the "new system" - after awhile she said "I know I wont get one- so I will become one" ( after she put on weight)

  I told my other daughter she would never marry- she is going to be 54 next month & on her 3rd marriage...

  I told my other daughter ( I had three) she would live in that paradise - She is still in the BORG -believing what I taught( shame on me.)
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  betweenworlds

  There was the time when this elder from our hall got up to give a talk and his opening line was "THE CLERGY ARE A BUNCH OF GODDAMN BASTARDS!" and he pounded his fist on the podium. Apparently he thought it was an appropriate thing to do as it was a quote he had heard from Ratherflawed. Needless to say he woke everyone in the hall up LOL! Good old Bob (Lambourn)! He was also the same dude who declared when he told of the upcoming nuptials of a pioneer sister "Well pretty soon there aren't going to be ANY virgins left in the hall!"

  betweenworlds

  Edited by - betweenworlds on 10 June 2002 15:52:21
• 

  eyegirl

  one of my favorite 'parental' quotes was after getting spanked my mom barking at me to 'quit your crying or i'll give you something to cry about!!'
• 

  City Fan

  One particularly old brother at one District Assembly announced in a loud voice "THERE WILL BE NO POP MUSIC IN THE NEW SYSTEM! "

  One brother who was a farmer with the IQ of one of his cows was late for a talk. When he finally arrived he walked up to the microphone and said: "Sorry I'm late brothers, I've just been shovelling shit on th' farm."

  During my baptism questions Elder B asked me "Have you got posters of popstars on your wall? Do you masturbate when you look at them?"

  Another nutcase I once had the pleasure of going door to door with tried to prove Angels existed with the argument "THEY DO EXIST - MAN HAS BIG TELESCOPES NOW AND THEY CAN SEE THEM."
• 

  dustrabbit

  My mother on spanking me even if I had done nothing wrong: "It's what Jehovah wants me to do."

  Another hilarious one: One young nerdy JW, whose own father was the Elder conducting the Watchtower study article for that week, pops up with his answer to young people and their morality: "I don't listen to pop music, it's the beat of sex."
  No one laughed, at first, until the father Brother M-- says rather embarassed, "Well, that's my boy."

  Okay, this one didn't really seem that funny on the screen, I guess you had to be there.