My Mother Might Get Called B4 a JC!!!

by teenyuck 18 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  teenyuck

  My mother just called me...she is really upset. Her plumber, Brother C. came by to fix a pipe today and told her that the elders are discussing my mother!! Why? Because she is going to have my DFd sister visit this week.

  The only person my mother told was Brother S. who has been conducting a bible study at my mother's home, with her business partner. Brother S. is an elder and the presiding one....Brother C who told her this is a MS.

  I advised her to not speak to them...no matter what. I told her they have no right to be telling her what to do in her private life. If she wants to have my DFd sister over that is her business.

  I just went to Quotes and found the quotes on DF/DA. I am going to fax it to her.

  I told her to have her attorney write a letter to them, if they try to call a JC on her. "Oh, but I will have to pay." She said. "I will pay." I screamed....I am not going to let them DF her again.

  I know many of you have written letters to the elders stating that if they DF and announce it from the podium you will sue.

  Can you point me to those letters on the threads here? I want to help her write a letter, that should it become necessary to use, she can give to the lawyer. He can re-type it and send it to the bros.

  I am really upset. I cannot believe that they are going after her for this.

  Your opinions would be welcomed. I cannot think straight.

  Thanks,

  Tina
• 

  ballistic

  I never cease to be amazed by their inconsistency in this regard. From one town to the next in the UK it appears ok for elders to visit their disfellowshipped children while in other towns brothers are disfellowshipped for the same. What are the up to date articles saying?

  p.s. you know the "tacking" is bad when you have to ask what the current articles are saying. J
• 

  Siddhashunyata

  Surely there is some kind of "official business " that your mother can conduct with your sister, nothing spiritual , of course. How about that loan, you know or perhaps picking up some of those personal things that mothers hold for their children. Maybe the Elder misunderstood because of your Mom' emotional condition , maybe he could stop by when its time to move that heavy piece of furniture to your sisters house?
• 

  outnfree

  ((((((Tina))))))

  Take a deep breath and let it out slowly.... there....that's better!

  Does your mother own a computer? If yes, we're in good shape! Before they have a JC, they'll have a pair of elders come over to 'readjust' your mother's thinking. At that time, she can direct them to the official WT website jw-media.org/beliefs/beliefsfaq.htm where it states:

  Do you shun former members?

  Those who simply cease to be involved in the faith are not shunned. In compliance with the Scriptures, however, members can be expelled for serious unchristian conduct, such as stealing, drunkenness, or adultery, if they do not repent and cease such actions. Disfellowshipping does not sever family ties. Disfellowshipped members may continue to attend religious services, and if they wish, they may receive pastoral visits. They are always welcome to return to the faith.1 Corinthians 5:11-13.

  Plus, we all know that Witnesses are allowed to have dealings with DF'd relatives if it concerns family business. Your mother has family business with your sister. Period. No need to discuss what exactly, is there? Nope, said business is simply "not up for discussion."

  Some elders have always been hard-nosed about this, others socialize with their own DF'd children or parents. Apparently, the Society is taking a "get tough" stance, likely out of fear of what the DF'd ones are liable to be able to PROVE about the Society with information gathered on the internet and in previously taboo books. But as far as I know, if your mother invokes the "We have family matters to discuss" there is still nothing they can do in a judicial way.
• 

  Nathan Natas

  I am very sorry. This is disgusting conduct for these "Elders."
• 

  SPAZnik

  I've noticed the same inconsistencies on this topic in the borg over the past several years.

  Just reaks of politics. They base their decisions on whether or not to hold a JC for contact with DF'd/DA'd ones on "who" you are and who knows and who it pisses off. They apply different standards across the board.
  
  I would be very surprised if your mother got df'd for this. It is none of their business if she has contact with her flesh & blood daughter. They don't know the circumstances. She can simply say that...
  "Brothers, you don't know the circumstances, this is between me and Jah, but thank you for your concern."

  If they press her, she can state there is official business, family or otherwise, confidential in nature. Or she can quote from the WT itself, i'm sure there was an article re not allowing a DF'd or DA'd one to go destitute or helping them in an emergency situation.
  
  She could also state something about knowing many families, elders and pioneers and publishers alike that have contact with their DF'd DA'd family members...and if they are going to meddle into her circumstances and choices then she will also be giving them the names of various others that will need to be handled in like fashion by facing a JC.

  It is very much a "grey area" especially where family is concerned. The articles that do exist on this topic can be read so differently they totally contradict themselves all over the place.

  Hang in there thru this stupidity.

  SPAZ
• 

  Hmmm

  If your mother doesn't want to go through the confrontation, I think Siddhashunyata has a good idea. Make up some family business for your sister.

  Hmmm
• 

  teenyuck

  Thank you all!

  I called my mom back and she already put in a call to her attorney...she is waiting for his call back.

  I told her everything related her....I had her pull up the Watchtower web site and read the disclaimer on DF'ing...then I read to her from Quotes...the Pay Attention to Yourselves and All the Flock, 1991. I quoted "Disfellowshiped and disassociated ones are shunned by those who wish to have a good relationship with Jehovah."

  The two contradict each other....she knew that....she said they are using word play. I agreed.

  I gave her some info on Beth Sarim and Russell and Rutherford. I printed out pages of stuff. I am Fed-Exing it tomorrow, along with CoC....she promised to read everything I send her and keep an open mind.

  She agrees that they are stupid, power hungry men who are determined to mentally and emotionally browbeat the members.

  So why does she stay? I asked.

  "I believe in Jehovah and all religions have bad seeds." She said people (maybe herself) should sue individual elders, not the society...it is not Jehovah's fault that these men are abusing their power. I pointed out that if a person is harrassed at work, they do not just sue the person, they sue the organization that put the person in the position to abuse their power. "Oh, yeah I guess."

  Her attorney called and she just called me back. He asked her why she is involved in and associating with such a "demented group?" She was silent.

  He told her to switch congregations. He is not a JW and has, apparently, no understanding of their operation.

  She said he told her any religion can excommunicate anyone anytime for anything. I told her perhaps, however, when the dubs do it they announce it and say "for conduct unbecoming a christian." That defames you and your name. Suddenly she saw the correlation.

  Then she tells me that Brother S, the elder, is employed by the elder who DFd her over 20 years ago!! I was amazed. She got her DFing overturned....she appealed to the CO and with his help appealed to the society. Brother D, who DFd her over 20 years ago, is still an elder.

  I asked why would someone whose judgement was so off, still be an elder? She, again, had no answer. However, he has been very angry at her for years, because she usurped his authority by having her DFing overturned. (Still w/me?)

  Now I find out Brother S is employed by Brother D, her old nemesis. I asked if she really thought they would let it drop? She is not sure. I advised that her old friend the plumber did her a favor by telling her they were talking about it.

  I asked why Brother C, the plumber ( a MS)would even know what elders were talking about? She, again, had no answer. I advised that they are violating the confidentially issue!! She agreed, however, I think she is terrified.

  I told her to purchase a tape recorder and if they show up or ask her anything, have it with her so she can record. If they refuse to be recorded, walk out. The attorney agreed she should try to record or video tape anything they do or say.

  I told her to call me immediately if they call or show up. She is also going to burn a CD for me...all the mags, etc. She said she threw out all her old books!!!

  At least I will have my own copy of the CD...I explained why I do not want to go to the KH to buy one.
• 

  Francois

  Your mother cannot be walked on unless she lies down first.

  FT
• 

  simplesally

  One time, my ex-husband, who was df'd, and I received a knock on our door from a sister who was moving back into town. She had an unbelieving mate and 3 children under 5. She had gone to her brothers house who REFUSED to allow her to stay there (this sister's children were a handful). So they came to our house and with kids and hubby and van outside, she asked if they could stay a few days until their hotel was available.

  We said yes. My ex was respectful of trying to not talk to the sister very much, except for hello, good bye, as was she. But they didnt want to act too distant because of the unbelieving mate. Then one night her mate insisted we all go out to dinner to thank us for welcoming them in our home. So, we went, it would have been too weird not to accept.

  Guess what? Her brother got on ME for allowing this to all go on! He was an MS. I told him where to get off and he should have taken them in...or talk to his sister, but leave me out of it.

  TINA, people often want to ply us with rules. But rarely do they want to see the big picture. Family business and limited family relations are supposedly ok.... its weird to me that some man may want to tell that I could not speak to the child I bore, nurtured and raised. I will always accept her and embrace her.