Were you chaperoned? (page 2)

jack2

Even though I was raised a jw, I dated only one jw girl....and here's why:

The girl, her friend, her friend's bf, and I would go to see movies on occasion. Her friend's dad insisted that *each couple* have a chaperone, even though the 4 of us were planning to ride to the movie together.....yes, he wanted a group of 6, each couple chaperoned. Ridiculous.

The girl ended our relationship some time later (thank God!.....and yes, I should have had the guts to end it first) and I was determined never to date a jw again. I ended up marrying my next gf, a non-jw.

LucidSky

Yep.

My parents reflected on their own relationship, so when they became JW's it was IMPERITIVE that my sis and I always be chaperoned. Always have the bedroom door open. Sitting on the bed together was a big no-no. Going down the street for a couple minutes to pick up something at the store required a chaperon. What a pain.

Although propositioned by a few "worldly" girls, I never dated until 19. My first date ever was not chaperoned. That ended quickly enough when my parents found out and called hers. Even my fanatical girlfriends' JW parents weren't as strict about this as mine were.

So I grew up being shy around girls and had no clue what to do. Even though our relationship only lasted a few months, I didn't even kiss her! After complaining about this on one occasion, my mom said something like: "What if another brother sees you two out alone together? What would he think?" Probably that we were just looking for a place to have sex, right?

LucidSky

scootergirl - I have to agree with you. I also think waiting until after marriage to have sex can be a very bad thing too. How do you know that you are going to be compatible with someone for life if you've never lived with them or shared your sexuality together? Funny, because a year or two ago, I would have been totally against both of those things, just as most of my religious family is.

Angharad

I think the chaperoning rule causes a lot of problems to, because it so drummed into you that you should never be alone so your not tempted, that on the occassions that some couples do end up being alone all they can think about is sex.

Edited by - angharad on 21 June 2002 11:58:10

amac

My wife and I were seldom chaperoned. In fact, we often went out in service together alone. If anyone said anything (and a few did), I was quick to point out that the only advice the WT gave was to not be alone in private areas like a home or parked car on a dark road (i.e. areas where you could have sex.) In fact, the older pubs showed drawings of couples alone in public places. The whole chaperone rules thing is usually an exaggeration of local JWs.

MrMoe

Were you chaperoned?

Intersting post!!! HELL NO! No, never, I but I snuck out my window with my worldly friends.

Anyhow, I did do lots of chaperoning of the other kids (I had one of those double lives and the was thought to be the congregation gem) and I recall allowing several kids in the hall use my car to "get-it-on." Nuff said.

Kisses,

Moe

Women sure flirt more with each other than men. But women also are more touchie feelie than men too. I mean you wouldn't give it a second thought if a woman reached over the fix her girlfriends hair or something, but if a guy did that he'd be risking a pop to the mouth. - LB, JW.com

Edited by - MrMoe on 21 June 2002 12:17:12

SpiceItUp

How do you know that you are going to be compatible with someone for life if you've never lived with them or shared your sexuality together?

After all you don't buy a car without test driving it first now do you?

Spice

beckyboop

Scootergirl--AMEN!!! I too think that it's much healthier to live with someone first to see how compatible you really are. It is definitely a lot easier than divorce!

Moving in with my boyfriend a year ago was one of the hardest things I ever did--especially because of my jw background. My family basically thinks I'm a whore, but I told my dad that I don't need a piece of paper to tell me how much I care about someone. It's how you treat someone and show your love everyday. And I'm very glad I did it--this past year has been one of the happiest for me in a long time.

Angharad--Is that experience talking?;) Just kidding--but I know what you mean. If you're constantly told not to be alone because you'll want sex, then when you're alone you DO want sex! I think the hardest part for me was the years of being told that sex is wrong unless you're married, and then as soon as you get married it's suddenly ok. That thinking has done a lot of damage to me psychologically, because it's normal to want sex. By the time I actually got married at 25, I was so mixed up inside because I had wanted it for a very long time. But I still had the feelings of guilt that had been pounded into me--and that has affected me to this day.

Becky

terafera

hehe...this makes me think of how my older sister used me as a chaperone...all at the age of 10!! She and her then b/f would take me to the beach, tell me to go make a sandcastle and when I looked for them, I would see them passionately groping in the water. What did I know? I would just go back to playing in the sand....

come to think of it, many times when i was brought along on their dates, they would give me money and tell me to run in the arcade. I guess they had it made!!

That was one of the things that turned me off from dating in the Hall. I couldnt imagine taking other people on my date!! Another thing that irks me, is many times I've seen this one loose sister on many dates (movies, dinners, etc) alone with different brothers. How'd she get away with it??? I guess it's cuz her daddy's an elder.....

ashitaka

My wife and I only had time to each other through secret interludes(no sex, just some private time together)....all the rest of the time people watched us like hawks....says a lot for a religion when you can't trust your kids not to f**k their BF/GF if you let them out of your sight....

ashi

Were you chaperoned?

Share this