Were you chaperoned? (page 3)

larc

You might not believe this, but there was a time when Witness kids were encouraged to shop around before deciding on a marriage partner. They had dates with no chaparones. When I found out about the policy changes, I just couldn't believe it. Current policy is a cause for marital disaster, in many cases. How can the leadership be so ignorant, is beyond me.

joannadandy

I personally never had a chaperone...I also never dated a witness boy, which made telling anyone about who I was dating not an option.

HAHAHA!

When I was 15 I told my best friend, "there is no way in hell I am going to date a witness"

After she pickerd her jaw up off the floor she said, "why not?"

I said "I just can't see myself married to a plumber or janitor"

Edited by - joannadandy on 21 June 2002 16:29:59

concerned mama

To an outsider, this issue of HAVING to have a chaperone is ludicrous. In essense the JWs are teaching kids that they are no better than animals, and CAN'T control themselves. I prefer the approach, that sexual attraction is normal, and kids have to learn to deal with it act in a way that fits in with their own morality. So, they don't need a chaperone, but they do have to figure out that maybe going to someone's empty house after school and necking is not so wise. Fun, maybe, but not wise. The control and judgement has to come from within themselves, because if they really want to get into stuff, they will find a way, chaperone or no chaperone.

concerned mama

joannadandy

Cheers Mama...I wish you were my mama!

Reborn2002

While an active Jehovah's Witness, I did not date.

As I began to fade away from the cult in my late teen's, I snuck out on several occasions with "sisters" and "worldly" girls to avoid being subjected to a chaperone.

A chaperone is a voyeur in my opinion. For two people to date with a purpose towards a meaningful relationship, having somene present for every event detracts from the intimacy the two individuals are supposed to share. How can one truly get to know the person they are interested in when they must always talk and act with restraint out of concern with what the chaperone may hear and not approve of?

Just my opinion however.

Francois

Isn't it totally amazing how the JWs want someone along to look over your shoulder each and every second you're on a date guaranteeing that on your wedding night you know absolutely NOTHING about what's going on, but you're supposed to be good at what you're doing. I suppose you learn what to do reading the Awake which, as we all know, is as good as a college education.

It's all just one large load of codswallop and we all know it. I preferred worldly girls for regualr dating. But then, I preferred JW girls at the assemblies where all the adults (read parents) thought that NOTHING could go on that shouldn't. Boy did they ever not know.

Francois

obiwan

Joannadandy,need your pipes cleaned,or maybe your rug shaken?

FiveShadows

I came out of the organization after i discovered 1 thess 4:17 in the kingdom interlinear and NWT in 98 summer. I was 16...something didn't seem right...(just so everyone knows wher ei stand jw or not) but this whole dating thing brough back a memory i had almost forgot. i was 13 and there was a "congegation get together at the beach." We would go to the beach ..all day stay there till night..and not leave till about 1 or two in the morning (breaking the law by being out later then 10pm at newport beach CA) ...but that's okay..it was "justified" because "Jehovah Permitted it." Anyhow...it was beautiful actually...i was not dating anyone ..I grew up very rough...and still had a lot more to go through at this time...i never recieved love from my parents..only abuse. So when i found the jw's at 10 years old ...i wasn't really interested but i had no friends..and i really needed one. So as i grew by 13 i was at the beach.. My Brother and a group of his friends (3 years older) had gone off in the dark...by the waves..just chiling and relaxing. My "spiritual mother" (as she called herself) wanted a sister (who was 4 years older then me) to go searching for him. I...being BORED asked if i could "go along" ... It was "granted " for me to do so... So she asked if i wanted to walk int he sand or the water to go searching..i love the ocean..i said water...so we went walking...her taking me under her wing sort of and speaking to me like i was her little brother(actually now that ir emember ...VERY little little little 3 year old brother type thing) ...asking me what kind of tv shows i like..if i like to write stories or poems or anything...what was my favoriate movie...yadda yadda yadda...well SOMEHOW (don't know how) my brother ended up back at the camp...(there was only ONE WAY they could've come..and that was in our direction) My only guess is..because we were walking in the water in that direction..they came walking int he sand and assumed it was someone else when we walked by...and vise versa. We got to the end of way and didnt' find them and started heading back (we were only goen for 15 mins tops.) When we got back...the ELDER began to ridicule us ...stating that we SHOULDN'T have gone ALONE we SHOULDN'T have done this...DID anything happen? DID anything TAKE PALCE? ...in front of the entire congregation...and it wasn't even 1 congregation..it was 4. the Sister began crying...and i felt so bad because it wasnt' our fault..and our intent was "big sister little brother" ...our conversation was even like that...and here she was almost being disfellowshiped. (i wasn't 'baptized' yet) EVERYONE knew that her and i were going to look for my brother...they all said it was okay...and my "SPIRITUAL MOTHER" began to ridicule me about the whole thing...never taking the blame that she could've prevented this whole SCENE just by saying "no i dont' want you two to go alone'...and me being 13...i had a very simple mind...i didn't even think anything like this was to occur being that she was like my big sister..i loved her dearly..but not in THAT way...it'sb een 8 years since that happened...and i still feel sad for Gena,i wouldn't be suprized if she was pulled in the back room at the next meeting.. I guess however jw's are right...i was dating HER because the only type of conversastions people who are dating that must be chaperoned can have is (little kids voice) "what's your favoriate movie? what do you like to watch on tv?" etc..Anyway.......just a story of how stupid most people in the world are.

FS

Edited by - FiveShadows on 23 June 2002 16:16:42

JanH

Yup, I was chaperoned. Not successfully though

- Jan

FiveShadows

LOL oh really?

Were you chaperoned?

Share this