Someone who used to post here had a tag line that went something like: If God has spoken, why hasn't the whole world heard it? Or something to that effect. I think there's a lot to that question. One would expect that if the existential absolute had uttered even one sound, the entire world would be held in thrall. However, as we have all realized, nothing of the sort has taken place.
I'm sorry to hear that your wife has preceded you, and I hope sincerely that you'll find some measure of peace. And answers to your questions. I have heard and experienced that sometimes answers come from the darkest times, probably because the searching is so focused and intense. If you get any insights, I do hope you'll tell us?
I am so sorry to hear about your loss and the pain that both you and her experienced. I am sure that she was well aware of the love that you have for her.
Do whatever is needed to make some sense of it. We know there really is no complete understanding, but if making a shrine helps in the healing process then go for it. My heart goes out to you for all you have been through.
My suggestion to you is to do whatever you must to ease your heart. There are many ways to heal, and this is just one of them. Good luck on your journey.
I totally agree with Wendy's comment above. Do whatever you feel is right to cope with your feelings of hurt an loss. Do not worry about what the JW's think. If Buddhist teachings/practices work for you then go for it. Neither the JW's nor their imaginary God care about you.
You will find lots of caring people here on this board, use us if you wish, we will do our best to help you cope.
I'm SO sorry you don't have her to share your life with you anymore..XXX
When my mother died I was still going to meetings; but it gave me NO comfort;later,I started lighting candles; don't ask me why,I know nothing about the teachings you've mentioned..It just felt sort of respectful and a way of showing myself I had'nt forgotten her and gave me something to focus on;but it was'nt as calculated as that at the time;it just felt like the 'right' thing to do.
I hope it helped if you did;my mother was always looking after others, so I try to do that too now;that helps; emulating their qualities and also connecting with their friends; I often spend time with hers and feel closer to her...
It sounds like you are ripe for a new paradigm (ie relationship with the creator) as the old one completely failed you. Chaos theory roughly states that out of chaos and catharsis comes a new organization, ie our understanding of reality. That you have suffered a great loss of your spouse to a horrible disease, I am deeply regretful. If, however, it has ripped you loose from the childish teachings of bygone ages and brought you into the 21st century, then perhaps it will have a greater value. Too bad your lovely wife had to loose her material life as a lever for your growth.
I too wish to extend a welcome to the board and hope you find comfort amongst us who share your loss.
I'm so sorry that you lost your wife. I'm glad though that you loved her. I'm sure that made her a much happier person and helped her to deal with the tragedy.
I mean this in a positive light and hope you like it: "Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened." It sounds as if you and your love had a beautiful relationship and that is a wonderful thing.
My sympathies.....but do whatever you have to, to feel her again, if that's what you need. It's only false religion if it feels false in your heart. Don't worry about Christian Dogma.
I hope you find peace. Truly do.
I understand that kind of deep devotion to a woman, so feel free to email any time, even if you just wnat to chat. I love poetry, and I think reading The Prophet by Khalil Gibran will do you no end of good. It kind of seems that's where you're at right now.
I hear people of strong faith talk about asking God for insignificant things. Then being pleased that God has answered their prayers. I want to say to them that God has nothing better to do than sort out their trival worries, while so many suffer horrible, horrible problems. The irony seems lost on them.
Breast cancer is a dreadful disease. My mother is fighting it at the moment. I think it's winning. They are making advances but some cases seem totally resistant to treatment and then eventually you run out of options. It sounds like your wife had an aggressive form of the disease. You would have needed to have had a very sharp, forward thinking doctor willing to try every avenue to help her. Even then I've seen women research every possible new treatment available and try every debiliting chemotherapy and still die within a short time.
I am so glad you have found this board. I hope you will find comfort in the association here. My heart goes out to you for the loss of your lovely wife and the loss of belief in something that you thought had all the answers. Be kind to yourself and take things at your own pace.
12 years ago my husband died. I remember the drive to the emergency room and all the pleas I made to Jehovah. I was had been out of the borg for a few years then but still prayed to Jehovah.
When the nurse took me into that concrete sound proof room and told me I was too late and the LeRoy was "gone" I was devasted.
Grief is a terrible thing to experience. Twelve years later, there are still times when I shed a tear when I find an old photograph or hear his favorite song on the radio. It hits me very hard when I see our daughter doing something that I know her father would have been proud of and knowing that my prayers weren't answered that dreadful night.
They say "time heals"....but in reality, time just makes it more bearable. We never forget....and for that I am thankful.
hi, i know what you have gone through, My wife poassed away 2 years ago she developed a rare blood diease and was dead IN 4 DAYS... WE HAD BEEN MARRIED FOR 35 YEARS .
I also lost a son to leukemia 14 years ago. I also have gone through the jehovah thing .
I lost a daughter because of my wife's death she shunns me , of course I gave my wife blood transfusions because i read about and researched the phoney blood thing and it is unreasonable to be able to take every fraction but not the whole thing.
anyway my heart goes out to you and your family. God is what he is if he is anything.
I served as an elder , was in the trooth about 35 years also
