Leaving without losing

somebody

Good afternoon all,

After reading so many stories about people separating from their husbands/wives once the one of them stops attending meetings, I was wondering how someone could tell their spouse when they first starting learning the truth about the truth. I know there are couples who got out together on this board. How did you break it to your spouses what you were feeling and learning, without having them run to the elders or view you as an apostate? Is it better to tell your spouse what your reading right away? Or is it better to hold everything in till your ready to explode? I've never had to deal with this because I walked away at a young age. I married someone who had never heard of JWs, but after spending time together, he started asking me what planet I was from, constantly. :-) I consider myself very fortunate that I've never had to be in that situation.

peace,
somebody

MacHislopp

Hello Somebody,

although you mention leaving, I wish to

express myself more about the "beginning " of the process,

when as you wrote one begins "to undertsnad the TRUTH about

the TRUTH". To keep it simple I do believe that you should -

and I do - take a firm position concerning all things which

for a start DO NOT HAVE A SURE BIBLE PROOF, STATEMENT etc.

Then gently but firmly- again- you let it be known very

clearly that you investigate, you DO MAKE deep research in

the BIBLE and CONSIDER THE BIBLE as you stone of compari-

son. Not necessarily enter into strong debates, which can

arouse anger, irritation, but one of the sure way to make you

marriage mate understand it is to explain certain positions,

included doctrinal points in a mature way, ALWAYS backing

your statement when there is a need with PROOF, so the

EVIDENCE will or at least should prove the point.

In conclusion it a long process for some,

you never know how it will end, but I always

keep into my mind and inside my heart that

JEHOVAH and JESUS will never disappoint

me, nor you nor anyone else who has put faith in them.

(Romans 10:11)

Sorry if the few lines...do disappoint you.

(I do mean it.)

J.C. MacHislopp

philo

I agree with Mac's point, that people should only reveal themselves to their loved ones on subjects they can prove scripturally. Otherwise there is the likely perception that one's Internet-engrossed mate has become an uncritical disciple of apostates.

The scriptures some carry weight, even for JWs.

philo

MacHislopp

Hi Philo,

Thanks for your understanding

as a matter of fact what I wrote

is what I'm doing at the moment.

It is a long process of emphaty

and understanding, above all for the

you love so much and having in mind

that TRUTH and LIGHT go together.

Greetings,

J.C.MacHislopp

Simon

I learnt a lot of stuff and was doing research before I told Angharad and was totally confident that it wasn't the truth when I started to let things slip to her.
I didn't tell her about everything I'd found all at once though and really had to keep at it because she was convinced it was 'the truth'. It did put quite a strain on us at the time but I think we're a lot stronger for it now. She's glad I didn't give up trying and now see's it for what it is.
I would urge anyone in the situation to go carefully, be gentle but don't give up even if you don't think what you're saying is getting through.

Welshman

Somebody,
A bit like Simon really,but I made sure that I researched into the early hours when they were asleep to make absolutely sure.I then went for the holidays first of all and social exclusion at school and my wife was happy with the explanation and it made for a relief in relations with her mother who had always opposed JW's though in a Hyacinth Bucket way which could grate in the extreme...

Regards Welshman (hoping to recover those lost years...)

philo

Welshman

Are you slagging Hyacinth Bucket? I love that lady. I just wouldn't want to be sharing a square mile with her ya know.

philo

thinkers wife

Excellent question Somebody,
I didn't have that problem since he left me before I left! One good thing.
I think everyone so far, has the right idea. Enjoyable getting others input.
BTW, Welshman, I echo Philo's thoughts! She cracks me up, but it would be scary to have her as a mother-in-law, or in the family at all for that matter.
TW

somebody

Just saying thank-you all, for all of your thoughts and opinions on this topic. I appreciate all of them.

Thanks again. :-)

peace,
somebody

Edited by - somebody on 6 March 2001 17:30:17

LDH

Not really a problem for me, cuz my hubby isn't/wasn't a JW.

He is totally anti-organized religion.

However, there are some things I'd never tell him about what I have believed in the past because that crap is just too embarrassing, LOL.

Leaving without losing

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