How do YOU deal with it??

bad_associashun

Hello all- recently joined, had some probs getting logged in, but here at last...

anyway, the question is: For those that can relate, when your heart feels heavy from the hurt, pain, regret, sorrow, bitterness, anger... and the lost years, stolen time, forsaken friends, broken relationships, wasted energies, abandonment, and lost love weighs on you --> caused by WT org. stress...

how do YOU get past it? What heals you, brings you relief, rescues you from total worthless feelings of inadequacy, comforts your wounds, keeps you from jumping on the train tracks?

*apologize for the 'spill'- having troubles getting it 'together' again, so many stories to 're-live' in my mind of how things 'should have been' - any helpful responses welcome

SpiceItUp

(((((bad_associashun)))))

Welcome

....I deal by writing...venting...crying...living...and loving....

and being here has helped as well

Spice

COMF

I stop looking at the past, which I can't change. Instead I look at the present. Not the future, mind you; the present. What I'm doing right now. I'm not suckering for it today. I'm doing well, getting over the mental, emotional and financial pounding being a witness gave me and moving beyond it.

Somebody said the best revenge is to live a good life. There's something to that, I reckon. But revenge doesn't even matter. My life is mine, and I don't center it around them, whether it be what they do today or what they did in the past. My life centers around me and the people and things I care about.

COMF

bad_associashun

thanks spice & comf

venting would be good- no one to vent to- who would understand except another former 'shunee'? crying has gotten old & tiresome, results in nothing good in the end

comf- yes, living in the present beats reliving the past- guess I'm angry with myself for holding onto the 'marry only in the lord' and "you-don't-want-to-raise-a-child-in-this-system" manipulative thinking, now finding myself alone so late in life

this board offers a lot to do with your time & energies- lots to read

thanks again

COMF

Glad to have you with us, 'shun. I should mention that I've been posting on this board, and on one like it before it, for about six years. I've worked through a lot of emotional issues using these boards. I didn't just magically snap to the point I'm at now.

You're right, you need people to talk to who understand what you've experienced. We're here. Settle in, kick back, have a beer, and open up to us. You're among friends.

COMF

Mackin

Welcome to the board bad_associashun.

When you figure out how to cope, let me know will you please.

Kep

Mackin & 'shun,

Having someone to talk to you makes a big difference, especially if they have been down this very road you are on.

For many years I never had anyone who could relate to the crap that was going thru my head, I would bottle it up and try and put what pieces of my life were left back together. I had to leave town for a while and try a fresh start in life, but I still carried the wrong mental attitude. I got a job and a place to live and joined a local community radio station that needed volunteers to be DJs. I really enjoyed that, it took my mind off what I was continually bumming out on and gave me something I really enjoyed, music. Not only that, but as time went on I felt good about myself, I was getting a good response from the listeners, got a prime time slot and ended up doing Saturday nights 7pm-midnight with another guy. It made me feel good inside, that I was finally accepted by other people, despite the fact that my family shunned me and I was the scum of the earth.

I am still wary of developing friendships as it hurt to lose them all, but now I have a wonderful, understanding partner who cares, and 2 little girls who's lives depend on me. My partner goes to great lengths to understand how it was for me, and I have a friend who is exJW that visits and she will talk to him and see the common factors between us. I enjoy my discussions with him and it helps me just as it must help him.

Kep

Beck_Melbourne

Hi bad_associashun

A burden shared is a burden halved. Finding someone who has been thru something similar and sharing with them is incredibly therapeutic. Not only is it a way of venting...but they actually understand...nothing has helped me more then sharing with a small unique group of people who know the world I lived in, and who know the losses I have endured, and who have lived with the same fears and disappointments.

Most of us who post here have lost friendships to the borg...and on here we can establish new ones. From this forum you can venture into real time association...and the gap between losing your old JW friends and finding new exjw friends closes.

Beck

ps...welcome to the board btw...hope to see more of you...love your name.

gold_morning

Hi,

Welcome!! Many of us have been where you are now. I was disfellowshiped in the early 80's and lost everything. My family and friends. I know how you feel. I spent 16 years away from God because I really believed that I had been weeded out from the "TRUTH" and was not worthy to read my bible or pray.

About 4 years ago, I started to read my bible and could not believe how really different it was from what was taught me and what I had believed was the truth. I then tried to pray. It was not easy, but I kept at it. For the FIRST TIME I finnaly got to know the real Jesus. I was born again on October 27th 1999 and it has totally changed my life. It was not that I had the answers all at once, but rather I finally was free of the guilt to believe differently than what I had thought my whole life. I also finally had true peace.

Try reading the book of John without the watchtower glasses on. I mean, read it like a good book. Get to know the main character. It will be a real eye opener and you will be surprised how good you will feel. This reading with an open mind becomes addicting, and with the help of the holy spirit that Jesus sent for us, you will slowly become healed. I know that it sounds impossible, but it is true. You can be o.k. again and you are loved by God very much.

Jesus came for those that are lost and hurting. We were indeed like his sheep without a shepard. We were fooled into thinking that the organization was our shepard. They have tried to take the place of Christ. The bible is very clear that our only means of salvation is Jesus.

There is an excellent group in yahoo called exjehovahswitnesses. It is filled with love, understanding and true bible discission. You may enjoy it and find a way to help heal yourself.

Please don't confuse God with the Organization. They are two seperate things. Jesus sacrifice forgave all sins and not at the descrestion of a body of elders.

write me if you like. much agape love gold morning..... ([email protected])

joannadandy

I try not to dwell on it. The fact is I am out now...past is past, but I can live my present and future by my standards.

Sure I still get guilt tripped by my parents, I just deal with it each time it happens. I do a lot of writing, talking, crying, reading, anything that helps clear the cobwebs. Friends are really important, especially ones that understand what you have gone through, which is why this place can be such a HUGE help.

My motto in life has always been to "feel the goodness" It's my hippie mantra, not a sexual come on! There is a lot of crap in life that can bring you down. There are lots of things to cry about. But you have to find what makes you happy and live for that, whether it be a new religion, love, children, art, music, your job, anything. Keep that as your focus and make sure nothing distracts you from what YOU (not some religious fantatics) decided is important in your life.

How do YOU deal with it??

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