stephanie and her new girlfriend...

airwlk149

this has nothing to do with jw's whatsoever, and it is totally personal, so here goes...

i went over to my ex girlfriend's house to pick up my mail. (i moved out and some of my mail still goes there even though i put in a change of address form.) we had gotten in a fight the night before. she has changed into a different person and not for the better. i still love her and miss her and want her back.......

but anywaysss, when i stopped by we started talking and it was nice (she looked so hot!) she offered me some cake, and i accepted. then she walked me out to my car.

she started telling me about her weekend with her new girlfriend, M-A-N-D-Y, and how they got a hotel room up in reno. ugh, just typing this is making me cry and my stomach churn...

i am wondering: when we were together, she never wanted to do anything and she was so ashamed to be seen with me out in public. i had wanted so bad to go to mendicino, ca and rent a hotel room for some alone time. (we both lived with her grandma), but she said that she didn't want to go anywhere with me because people would think we were "lesbians".

anyways, just venting... i am so sad all the time and i really can't shake it.

my mom thinks it's because i need "jehovah". i guess that's why i went to the meeting and the assembly. i just want a place in life, where i am happy.

whatever.....

katie

airwlk149

FYI: i do not plan on being a jw again. going to the meeting and assembly just reassured me that leaving was the right thing. just want ya'll to know that before ya'll stone me. *katie screams out "i am NOT a troll!!!!"*

SpiceItUp

(((((Airwlk)))))

Just remember that we love you here!!!!

Spice

Dawn

(((((((airwlk)))))))

It's going to take time to get over Stephanie. You are still mourning her loss - and that's normal. The best thing you can do is continue to "vent" - talk to your friends and us here on the board. I have found that it somehow helps to release my feelings, especially when my heart is broken.

Hang in there - you WILL get better and you WILL get stronger.

Hey - here's a great fantasy. Imagine someday Stephanie realizes what a mistake she made and wants you back - only you're completely over her and say "Yea.....I don't think so.....". Well....those fantasies always helped me - guess I'm a little weird (ha ha ha ha) - but it did finally happen with my ex and it felt sooooooo good to realize that I was completely over him. You will be there too airwlk - you'll get over Stephanie and move on to a great life.

writerpen

It's important to let go too. This means that the next time you are offered cake, don't accept (not out meanness, but a realization that spending even a small amount of time with her may lead you to think that there is still hope). It's painful to realize that it's over, but sometimes people keep trying to hang on, thus increasing the time it takes to heal.

Matty

((((Katie))))

Yes, it's much more difficult when you keep seeing her all the time. I know I've said this before, but count yourself lucky that you are capable of caring so much about someone, it makes you a better person. Anyone who doesn't understand what you are going through is shallow and soulless, which I think sums up Stephanie pretty well. Believe me, we all really wanna give her a good kick in the ass!

zenpunk

Whenever I've had ex's try to tell me about their new relationships I always immediately pointed out the fact that they are being extremely inconsiderate! It's usually a head game they're playing and it will frustrate them if you don't allow yourself to get sucked in by it. Lesbian relationships are tough - you've got to deal with people in a multitude of phases of "coming out" as well as those who treat it as a hobby. In other words, as soon as a man's on the scene - they're gone.

Fire Dragon

((((((((Katie))))))))),

I can relate to some degree...and from the other side too. I left my girlfriend to become a JW. My heart was broken - I cried myself to sleep every night - but I needed my parents acceptance and becoming a dub was the only way to get it. Aaaaaand, if I was going to be a dub, I couldn't be a lesbian. So I moved back home, got baptized, did the "right" thing and married an elders' son. MAYBE twice a year! I just couldn't take it. I was on three meds for depression, anxiety, and nightmares. I ended up committing adultery and almost becoming an alcoholic. I finally decided to do what was right for me because I wanted to be happy. The elders were only going to reprove me but I told them it would be a waste of their time because I was going to move in with my girlfriend. So they disfellowshipped me. I've gone through HELL since then with my family but that is another story....my poor lover got stuck in the middle of the storm. But it is the BEST thing I could have done. My seven year misery is over.

My point is that YOU have to do what makes YOU happy. And that means moving on. Get another lover, there are plenty out there. I found a wonderful woman and my life is AWESOME now! I know it is easier said than done but time heals all wounds. Don't dwell on what you have lost...take up a new hobby or something to take your mind off of her. Go out and meet some new friends. You will get through this, you are a strong woman. Feel free to email me to vent if you'd like...since I'm 'family' I can relate.

Edited by - Fire Dragon on 25 June 2002 14:42:40

TheStar

(((Fire Dragon)))

You've come a long way girlie!! I'm very proud of you!!!

Edited by - TheStar on 25 June 2002 15:31:40

Fire Dragon

Aww, Thanks, Star! (((Star)))

See, Katie, you can do it too!

stephanie and her new girlfriend...

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