YES! I AM FREE AT LAST!

Kjell Hedblom

I just got out from JW bye a D.F. 4 weeks ago after 44 years as an active JW.Am I insane or why am I having that great feeling of Freedom?? I am sitting here infront of the computer having a cold beer and just enjoying life.Shouldnt I be crying and having a depression sitting here in tears over missing all my JW friends that now are vanished??

Why dont I miss the K.H.?? And the so called fellowship?? Shouldnt I be shaking in fear because now Jehovah will punish me in Armageddon??And when I walk on the street shouldnt I be the one looking down at the pavement when I meet my "old friends" from the congregation?? Why is it that I can look at them in the eyes,but they cant??

I have been a Regular Pioneer an Elder and sitting in committees judging brothers and sisters.Why is it that I still have bad conscience about that I have been part of D.F. others.Mostly I did not agree with the 2 others in the C but I had to surrender against 2 to 1. I remember in some cases that I did wrote a letter later to the D.F. telling that person that I was against a D.F. but I did have to "turn in the towel" because of the chairmans strong personality and mind.

My lovely wife is still a JW but hasnt attend any K.H. since my D.F. and I dont think she will ever go back (but if so that is her decision) anyway I am a lucky man to have her by my side.

What I dont understand is that I have such a great feeling inside myself that I never had before when my life was ruled by the Organization.

So what is wrong with me,anyone can tell me???? Or is this what you all out here have experienced?? PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!!

Hugs to u all from Kjell Hedblom in Sweden

Jewel

Congratulations on your disfellowshipping! That feeling of a HUGE relief is one of the big secrets "The Society" doesn't want its servants to know about.

So much for "weeping and gnashing of teeth"!!!

Enjoy your new-found freedom!

Jewel

gumby

Hi KH.( I'm not to sure I like your initials)...LOL

Shouldnt I be crying and having a depression sitting here in tears over missing all my JW friends that now are vanished??

Give it awhile! If you have a lot of family in the org.......you WILL go through some roller-coaster rides with your emotions. It has been 7 years since my exit and I am still somewhat screwed up as are alot of us here. Emotional scars do not disappear overnight.

Glad you found a home here. I wished I would have found this place....long before I did.

Gopher

Hello Kjell,

Great post! Congratulations on having escaped and on your well-earned feeling of freedom you now have.

You really answered your own question. As a JW, you were part of a harsh system that feels very unnatural. You mentioned that the disfellowshippings you shared in didn't seem right to you.

Now you don't have to share in such an unnatural, unloving way of worship that pretends it is so loving.

I too was disfellowshipped, and yet I don't feel I really did anything deserving of that harsh punishment. When I stopped going to meetings (after 39 years), I didn't feel like anything was missing. Except now I don't have some man-made organization constantly looking over my shoulder and scolding me for not trying hard enough to be Christian! If I choose to have a relationship with God, I don't need some harsh men who (like the Pharisees) are more interested in their position than they are in me.

So everything you wrote made perfect sense, and welcome to the board! I can't wait to read more of your posts out here in the future.

-- Gopher

jst2laws

Hello Kjell Hedblom,

I related very much to your feelings. Been there, done that. I too have approached others to apologize for my actions and counsel while serving.

What I dont understand is that I have such a great feeling inside myself that I never had before when my life was ruled by the Organization
So what is wrong with me,anyone can tell me???? Or is this what you all out here have experienced?? PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!!

Nothing is wrong man! Pop a beer for me. Where is Englishman? We need a toast.

Jst2laws

mommy1

Welcome to freedom Kjell. Enjoy your new life.

Perfection Seeker

HI! Hey- as an elder- do you have any "inside tips" to help deal with witnesses family members who pressure you? :-) When I was disfellowshipped in 97- it was a HUGE relief not to be in their clutches. I got reinstated because my dad was sick- although I have "faded" now- still in their clutches with people stopping to "encourage" me out in service, my entire family preaching to me- and trying to save me, etc. BUT, as an elder- if you have key points to help them or shut them up- I'd love to hear them! Go have another beer- and *SMILE* :-)

rmayer32

Congrats on being Disfellowshipped!!! Little did they know what a favor they were doing you!

Oh yeah, And welcome to the board and the brother and sisterhood of "apostates"..LOL

-Rick

Salud

I clearly remember one day sitting by the pool having a beer on a Sunday no less, and I was speaking to my JW brother on the phone and just ranting about this disfellowshipped lifestyle, how great it was. When I got DF'd it was like a load lifted off my shoulders. And it is, esp. being an elder like yourself and all that was expected of you.

You might exp. many different emotions and even ask yourself if this is what is really happening to you. But after you realize what you have left you will feel more convinced than ever that you made the right decision. Hang in there and relish in your new found freedom.

Salud

bluesapphire

CONGRATULATIONS!!! There is nothing like freedom from the repression of the borg. Enjoy it!

YES! I AM FREE AT LAST!

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