If you went back...

by LovesDubs 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • zev
    zev

    larc said:

    Hey Zev,

    Maybe those attacks are nature's way of telling you to get the he!! out of there.

    Maybe, but not before I have done the research first. But thanks for the support.

    __

    zev

    Sitting on the Wrong Side of the Fence Class

  • eyes_opened
    eyes_opened

    Make that 4 of us! I would sit there and would start to shake, and cry for what I thought then was no good reason, and have to leave. Now I think it was my subconsious telling me...alert! alert! something isn't right here congnisent half of the brain! escape! run away! I remember one poor brother who would try to give talks and would get so nervous that he would actually faint!!! talk about scary.

    Eyes

  • Scorpion
    Scorpion

    I would go back to my local KH once just for the heck of it, but they would stone me to death for all the trouble I have caused and continue to cause today.

  • crittersitter
    crittersitter

    moridin
    would that grandmotherly one be the infamoous J.B.?
    i got the same at my mothers funeral from both she and hubby norman
    that cong(if it's the wrjct) has always been cold and un friendly.....miserable childhood there
    i would only go back to see mouths drop open as i waved my hands praisin the LORD, and maybe even pray in "tongues"
    gosh, i must be in a mean mood these days...must be menopause kickin in

  • Grunt
    Grunt

    I went back once a year for a decade or so at Memorial. I did it out of respect for Jesus Christ. Strange that I could ever have viewed watching others partake as showing respect to Jesus but I did. As I never attended the Kingdom Hall in the places I moved to after I dropped out, there would always be a few that would come up and try and "place" me in the hierarchy, put the correct label on me. I always enjoyed thwarting this effort. Some were genuine, friendly and sincere, others were just a little nosey and wanting to hang the proper tag on me. I always took the offensive as soon as possible to keep them answering my questions instead of vice versa as I made my way out.

  • Moridin
    Moridin

    Hey Critter,

    Ya she be the one. Ever since I went there when I was twelve to eighteen it's always been a cold cong. I think it will always be one. It's alot different than other congs. but I'm glad that's the one I went to because they made be look into things because of their ungodly attitudes.

  • Thirdson
    Thirdson

    Lurker,

    Fortunately, I didn't have panic attacks. The meeting did cure my insomnia though ;-)

    I don't have panic attacks but I do have nightmares. In my dreams I am at the KH and a longtime family friend and elderly elder is asking me about my beliefs and whether I believe in the FDS/GB. It wakes me up and I am relieved to be just dreaming.

    I did go to a Sunday meeting about 3 years ago. I took my parents to a KH outside of the territory where I live. It was a very unfriendly congregation. Out of respect I dressed up in tie and jacket and my parents, 40+ year JW's were dressed as normal. Hardly anyone welcomed them and they were out-of-country vistors. I know it disappointed them a great deal. The Public Talk was terribly boring and would have been even before I became a critic. The Watchtower was hardly memorable either. It was enough to convince me I had made the right decision.

    Thirdson

    'To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing'

  • Moridin
    Moridin

    Speaking of nightmares. I had a horrible one the other night. I was at the kingdom hall because I started to believe it all again. Shortly after I was going from door to door...needless to say I woke up in a cold sweat and was very relieved to be dreaming.

  • Moridin
    Moridin

    On a second note I didn't start to have my panic attacks until I was about 17. The worst part about it was that I was in the middle of giving a talk and I had to struggle through the rest of it. After that I had a hard time giving talks and going out in field service. But I pushed myself even doing a couple of special assembly parts. The attacks are finally starting to become less frequent.

  • Mim
    Mim

    This is me! I am beginning my Ph.D on... guess what? WOMEN and Jehovah's Witnesses...Aka The Borg! I actually earned a very big scholarship to a university in Australia, I leave in July. I think it amazes and terrifies my family and former JW friends that someone would give me that kind of money to write about them! I am not liked in my home town already for my outspoken, academic approach to JW catharsis, this will send them into psychotic fits!

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