If you went back... (page 4)

philo

lurkernomore and doubtingsister,

If you think the young sisters are trying too hard to attract a man, please answer this. In a repressive environment like the WTS, how many opportunities to attract men do they get? Even just to learn about themselves and about men? They are not allowed to socialise with their peers at school. Their parties are restricted in size. They are supposed to have adult supervision when they gather. Talk about holding back the spring alright.

Add to this the disproportionate number of women compared to men among the witnesses. Can you blame these girls if they visualise themselves becoming one of the numerous WT spinsters they know? I can't.

philo

AuSet

I too also had panic attacks at the KH, for years. One of my cousins who had not been into the hall for about 30+ years also had one when he was attending our grandmother's funeral. I have talked with people who have came out of fundamentalist religions/cults who have had similar experiences.
I believe that there is a real mind/body connection here. Our minds and spirits recognized that we were putting ourselves into a harmful and/or dangerous situation. The panic attacks were a message that something was not right.
I also believe that there are other witnesses out there, esp. women, who manifest similar, but more serious physical symptoms. Has anyone noticed, especially in the last ten years, an outbreak of chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromialgia among sisters in the cong? I know many sisters who have been completely debilitated, unable to even leave the house.
Any others of you who have noticed this? or is it only in my area?

Also, Mim:
I would be very interested in reading your work. Have you done any other projects on witnesses and women or is this your first one? I too have considered this a possible topic for research in the future. (I will be attending graduate school this fall.)

doubtingsister

Well, actually I agree with you Philo, it's just sort of a shock to see an army of Brittney Spears at an assembly! I do feel sorry about the situation for them.
I used to think that if you married a JW brother that marriage would be easier (I'm married to a "worldly" man). After getting to know some details of the marriages at our hall I'm not falling for that anymore.
I got a reprimand one time for wearing a dress that was an inch over my knees. I was causing the men to have bad thoughts. How embarrassing for the elders to tell me that and how surprised I was! I wear long skirts now to avoid them having to say something like that again.

doubtingsister

[Has anyone noticed, especially in the last ten years, an outbreak of chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromialgia among sisters in the cong? ]

Yes!
Is it happening to other women, not just JW's? I would imagine with the stresses of working/raising children/etc, but it has been extremely prevalent in our congregation.
It seems everyone is always complaining of not feeling well, being tired, run down, sickly, low energy.

What part of the world are you in? I'm in North America.

AuSet

Doubtingsister,

I'm from MN/USA. I don't think its happening on the same scale to women who are not JW's. I don't really know or understand what is causing this outbreak, but my guess is, if you feel so powerless in every aspect of your life (mentally, spiritually, etc.) then why not take power by becoming sick? Or perhaps its just a way of the body sending out a warning signal, (as it does in the panic attacks.)

Almost all of the sisters who I know that have these diseases/conditions are elder's wives, PO's wives, or in some way connected to a higher up in the organization. Perhaps their bodies are just unable to keep up with all the high demands the org. places on them. But if this is the case, then why is it only happening to women? Any thoughts on this, doubtingsiser?

Mim

I am familiar with qualitative content scoring, I don't intend to use it. I tend to keep my research straightforward and try to stick to the way the participants intended their narrative to sounds. This for me is more about "what" the work says collectively. Its not intended as my voice filtered through crucial analysis. Feminist research is a tad different and it is this approach that interests me.

Mim

Hey all, its very nice to meet you. To answer the question of have I done other projects I have writen several articles on Jehovah's Witness women, and spoken extensively about them.
But my dissertation is the "big one" so to speak:)

I am so enjoying reading everyone's thoughts and experiences. Re: the Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia back in the early nineties when I was in my middle twenties, I was diagnosed with CF. I was just exhausted all the time. I realize now that I was desperately trying to get "out" of the meetings and service ect. I am NOT suggesting that anyone else does this, but subconciously I was just plain tired of being a JW. Noone believed me. JW's can be very punitive on those who are ill I find. And I was ill, regardless of what was causing it.

I hated being a Jehovah's Witness, I know that now. I was always wrestling with my "self" who I was, who I am. My husband was not a Witness, I married him during a hiatus from the truth at 21 in 1987. I was baptized in 89 at the age of 23. I had been raised in the religion from the age of four. I used to pray at the doors that noone was home. I hated the meetings. I used to count paragraphs in the Watchtower:) Anyone else do that? Bob was awesome, he still is. We managed to survive my leaving, and for awhile I left him, I was so torn apart. The CF symptoms have been gone since I left. Just disappeared.

With all that I saw women go through in the religion for so many years, and women do suffer, I am now teaching and working with and for women. It REALLY fuels my feminism and convinces me that women need to nurture themselves, their autonomy and their talents. I saw someone's post that said "pretty dresses hiding the pain" and I thought that was SO right. No one speaks "truth" in that organization, no matter what they say. Never be afraid of anger folks, that is one thing that I have found. It got me through a four year degree with straight A's, and I have three young boys. Its what you do with it. I tell myself when I am down or depressed or having difficulty because of emotional JW fallout that I MUST do well, I must continue to excel, that I can't let go of what needs to be done, of what needs to be said.

I work out, I'm vegetarian and I see a counselor who also is an exJW. It all helps. I hope no one minds this post, its good to talk to others again who are going through all this crap and who I know "get" it.:)

Got to get the little guys to school...

Peace
mim

AuSet

Mim, that was a very interesting story, and I must admit I feel very similarly to you. I will be graduating this semester with my undergraduate degree in social work, and feel very driven to help others, both witness and nonwitness. I also married a nonJW after being raised in the truth and have a four year old boy.

Would you consider posting on the board or emailing me a copy of some of your previous work?

p.s., I used to count paragraphs in the WT, and also I would try to make up words and sentences using the letters found in each paragraph!

Best of luck to you with your project! BTW, how are you planning on obtaining your sample? Are you going to be interviewing women who are in or out of the organization? This could be tricky. (maybe you'll have to do observational research)

larc

Mim,

I admire your spirit and your constructive use of anger. I think your work could make important contributions. As they say, "You go girl".

Thank you for telling us more about yourself. If you want to know more about us, there is a "Hello, hello" thread where many of us have written brief bio's.

Folks,

I have been out for a long time, and I had no idea that there was such a high rate of anxiety disorders and chronic fatigue, especially among the women. One thing that struck me is the resiliency of the human spirit - how people become healthy once they leave and unhealthy environment.

I don't know, but I think that it affects women more than men, because the women, I think, have a greater feeling of powerlessness. There is a parallel here to job burnout. One of the key factors in job burnout is the feeling of being trapped and being powerless to change anything. Just some thoughts.

RedhorseWoman

Ah, yes....anxiety attacks....I remember them well. When I was trying to re-activate myself after several years of inactivity, I would experience horrible panic attacks.

Frequently, they would occur as I started to head out the door. I would be standing there with my coat on, study books in hand, literally crying and shaking so badly I couldn't go out the door.

Sometimes I would make it to the Hall, only to find myself unable to breathe, with tunnel vision, and inability to concentrate on anything being said.

Since making the final break, I have had no recurrences. It would seem that the subconscious was definitely trying to send messages.

If you went back...

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