Old Friends Daughter

Golden Girl

Well I had a surprise yesterday. I received a phone call from an old Witness friends daughter.I used to watch her a lot and she was almost like one of my own. Her Mom had emotional problems and wasn't too fond of kids. She eventually got disfellowshipped and I was very upset that she didn't receive the help she should have from the brothers and I resigned.

Well she caught me up on who was where. Her Mom is in Calif. and remarried. She is married to a JW and she has been reinstated.

Her Dad goes to the memorial with her and is thinking about going back!

She had recently been baptised along with her 14 year old daughter.I haven't seen her for almost 20 years!

Now..She wants to renew our friendship. I told her I did not and never would be a JW again. I talked to her just briefly about the changes that are happening in the "Org.". She of course was saying that Armageddeon is coming "REAL Soon".(I tried not to scream).

Ok..my problem is that I feel I can turn her away from the religion. She thinks of me as her "Other Mother that cared.". so do I want to do that?

She is only 35 but has recently been diagnosed with Lupus and possibly MS.She has been missing a lot of meetings she said and people there look at her like"You could make it to the meetings if you tried!"

Typical huh!

Well I am interested in what you would do?

I don't always trust my judgement and most of me feels like that might be the only family she has.Do I have a right to try and convince her to leave? Some people need that association.And the hope of a New World.

I do not believe what the JW's teach about the future. Or anything else . I have a hard time even believing the bible!

Thanks for listening...

Golden Girl..

LB

I really am not jnto getting people out, unless they are really being hurt by the religion. Some witnesses are made to feel so worthless. Then I'd do what I could to get them out. My buddies wife is a JW and she seems very happy so I just don't discuss things with her. Once she wanted to know my doubts and I asked her "do you really want to know or are you trying to give me a witness" and she told me "sorry, I shouldn't have done that".

Feel her out. If she is miserable then go slow and be her "mom" again. Oh be her mom anyway.

SixofNine

Not one singe person that has ever lived, or ever will live, has ever "needed" the WTBS, the JW organization, or really, any other human's ideas (and subsequent blathering of said ideas) about who or what god is.

IMO, of course

Perfection Seeker

This is a hard one- on one hand, I wish someone had guided me out earlier. On the other hand, just like someone who needs to diet, but doesn't until the time is right, maybe her time isn't right yet. That would just sever your ties, and cause hard feelings. There are ways to question someone, in efforts to help them, or show them the other flip side of the coin. I guess you gotta ask yourself- how much would she lose & how much would she gain? She has a daughter to think about now, too. Nice she has another "mom" to lean on. She trusts you. Personally, I am MUCH happier out. I would LOVE to "save" my mom, yet she is SOO happy in, and has her support group, etc, and would be TOTALLY lost without it. So, it works for her very well. So, I wouldn't try to talk her out. Its a personal thing. I was NEVER happy in- and miserable. If this lady is happy with her new found renewed interests, let her enjoy it. Most likely will be short lived.

Sam Beli

My instincts are to first be a Mom to her. If she has Lupus she is going to gradually become weaker, more ill and deformed, though hopefully, this will take many years. The JWs will seldom "be there" for her if history provides any indication.

At some point, hopefully sooner rather than later, she will really need a friend and she will talk and possibly vent her frustrations about the lack of help and love from the JWs. You will know when the time is right to start dropping a few seeds about why you are no longer a JW and why you will never go back.

Sam

singsongboi

surely, goldie, the only thing that counts is your friends happiness...

i, too, will never go back, NOT even if Jehovah himself asks me back -- i am out and out for ever!!!

but, i feel to get someone else, "out", for the sake of getting them "out", is not much different to jws, getting them "in" in the first place..

some may happy "in" , just like there are some happy people in other religions..... if, i had a friend like yours, i would want to seek their happiness first and foremost, which is best served by being a non-judgemental friend... which is a dam hard thing for a witnesss to be..

Francois

Terrible situation you describe. I'm sorry for your friend. Perhaps they will treat her with massive cortisone injections. If so, there will be a tendency for her large joints (hips, shoulders, etc.) to deteriorate and need replacement. But you likely know that.

I strongly feel that it is improper to help someone out of the JWs unless you have something with which to replace it. Do you? And then, perhaps she needs the organization for emotional support or for some other unfathomable reason. People do, you know. Hard to believe, but some people hang onto the Borg like a survivor holds onto the flotsam and jetsam of a ship accident. God only knows why.

You'll have to feel this out for yourself. Trust your instincts, your intuition, and they'll likely lead you in the right direction.

Good Luck,
Frank

zenpunk

I kind of try to lead people to their own conclusions. I don't want to intentionally religion-bash because I wouldn't do that to any religion. But sometime a series of so-called innocent questions on your part can lead someone to do some serious thinking.

slipnslidemaster

I really am not jnto getting people out, unless they are really being hurt by the religion. Some witnesses are made to feel so worthless. Then I'd do what I could to get them out. My buddies wife is a JW and she seems very happy so I just don't discuss things with her. Once she wanted to know my doubts and I asked her "do you really want to know or are you trying to give me a witness" and she told me "sorry, I shouldn't have done that".
Feel her out. If she is miserable then go slow and be her "mom" again. Oh be her mom anyway.

LB, we seem to be on the same wavelength today. Second post that you've written so far that I agree with you 100%.

Just remember, if you are going to try and get her out, you have to have a ton of patience and a very big heart. As you know, if when you are out, the pull of that mindcontrolling organization is very, very strong. It will take lots of time and love.

Maybe let her experience the "love" of the congregation for a little bit and perhaps then love her the right way.

belbab

Golden Girl,

My thoughts are that you just tell her where you are. Why you are out, and intend to stay out.

Also tell her what your feelings are about her. Perhaps, tell her that if she is back in that is fine with you, maybe for her welfare that is the best place for her. But maybe she also needs your freindship and if you can and it is your wish, then make room for her, and tell her too.

belbab

Old Friends Daughter

Share this