Anybody have any experience with this?

by stillin 20 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  stillin

  An elderly sister passed away recently. Family came to her memorial service from all over the country. Some of them, including grown-up, disfellowshipped children of hers, also came. There had been very little contact with them by their parents, who were trying to uphold what they believed to be the correct, scriptural way to "love" their wayward children. But this was a close, loving family except for the shunning of those particular kids.

  After the memorial at the Kingdom Hall there was a place rented and food was served. The disfellowshipped ones were told that they could not come to the low-key affair, because they are DF'd. They travelled all of this distance and got kicked in the ass by the local elders, who never even knew them!

  Does this sound proper, under the existing guidelines or have the local elders pushed things too far?
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  JWdaughter

  I've heard of it before. Private gatherings can refuse entrance to whomever they please, I guess. I remember that others when faced with this gathered together the non-JWs and ex JWs for a separate family gathering.

  Treating people like crap is a skill learned well in the borg.
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  adjusted knowledge

  I've seen this a few times. I knew a tight family and their daughter was df. There other daughter was married shortly later, and the df sister was allowed to attend the wedding at the KH. However, she was not allowed to the gathering.
  
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  Wasanelder Once

  The Kingdom Hall is a public place so its open to the DF'd. That's the official view. The attendance at a gathering is up to the family. When my mom died my family hugged and showed affection to my DF'd brother. He was allowed full access to grieve at the gathering after. We refused to be the same as all the elder asshats in the congregation. We didn't even have an elder give the memorial talk at the Kingdom hall, a friend did it. Best memorial ever. It was a small gathering after.
  
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  Ignoranceisbliss

  Depends on the family. I went to a funeral a few months ago and the DFed family was allowed to go to the after dinner. But they kept it to family only. Not everyone from the Congo was invited.
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  RULES & REGULATIONS

  HERE IS WHAT I WROTE AROUND 6 YEARS AGO! MY FIRST COUSIN DIED FROM CANCER .THE CONDUCT OF THE ELDERS TOWARDS HER DISFELLOWSHIPPED SON IS WHAT REALLY MADE ME REALIZE WHAT A HORRIBLE ORGANIZATION IT IS!

  My cousin passed away last week from cancer at the age of 49. The cancer spread so fast it took our family by surpise. We figured she had a couple of years instead of months. She left 4 children(3 were baptised and 1 was disfellowshipped a couple of years ago).

  Dealing with the death of their mother was bad enough but the conduct of the congregation Elders made it worse. The disfellowshipped child had to:

  * leave the house when his mother died because Witness relatives were coming over to the house to visit the family.

  * had to stay on the side of the funeral room at the wake by himself while the rest of the family sat in the front chairs.

  * Elders refused to greet him in the line. They walked right past him.

  *He was told not to attend the luncheon after the funeral. He left alone and went home because some members would not attend the lunch if he was there.

  I spoke to him by phone for 3 hours after the funeral and was told that he will never return to being a Witness the way he was treated. He felt that the actions of the Elders made everyone else treat him the same.
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  Hold Me-Thrill Me

  Her JW family is responsible. They could have arranged for a close family gathering immediately after the memorial talk but before the general gathering. But they did not.
  
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  stillin

  Thanks, all. It's was about what I guessed. The Pharisees won again.
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  brandnew

  The place woulda got egged
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  GrreatTeacher

  They win on their own turf, but not in the rest of the world.