When I was in high school I always remember the "Popular Group." The ones that had the best looks, the nicest clothes and the life that everyone wanted. Oh how I longed for just one day to be a Popular one, and to not be the person in the shadows. The person that few people knew and most thought was strange because he belonged to that religion that wont let him do anything.
Then I would go to the Kingdom Hall and I would not be related to the right people, or have friends that were Pioneers to get me invited to the cool get together or to be part of the convention parts. Soon I found my own and I found out a secret, kiss the elders ass and you gain Popularity. Soon I was carrying microphones and auxiliary pioneering, then full time Pioneer. Not much longer and I was a 17 year old Ministerial Servant, wow I was Popular now. People invited me to dinner and the sisters were all after that fancy spiritual catch. Believe it or not I did not get married until I was 23, as I did not like being the one chassed. I married the one I chassed. Soon my wife was a Pioneer and we were so Popular, people could not get enough of us. We were in meeting parts, assembly parts and even convention parts. Then, to my surprise I was appointed a elder at a really young age and was even shown to be the example of how it was to be done. People saw me on the street and made a point to tell me how much I encouraged them, and how their son wanted to be just like me.
Then it happened, I finally became Popular, and you know what I wanted? I wanted to step back into the shadow, so that no one could see me anymore. I wanted the new part inside me that saw the religion as a cult to come forth and run the show. Yet, I was so worried what people would say and what people would do, as I was in the limelight now. Then one day my wife and I talked, and we decided that it was no ones business what we do and we had to do what makes us happy. So we walked away.
Within weeks, no one hardly new of us, talked to us or even acknowledged our past. We were in the shadows once more. So much of my life was about getting to the top, and yet happiness only began when I went back down to the bottom. Interesting, that we always want what we do not truly need.
So what I have learned in my life, is that Popularity is only good when you want it ... but when you have it, it can be the worse weight to bare. So if you are at the bottom and hardly noticed, and wish you were someone else or walking in someone else's shoes. Think again, and be happy in the shadows, no one ever looks at the shadows. So there you can be and think in the way you really want.
Edited by - kenpodragon on 2 July 2002 16:48:58