So, many of y'all know bits and pieces of my story of waking up, but I thought it might be nice to have it all in one place.
I was baptized at 11, auxiliary pioneered every summer, regular pioneer at 17, ministerial servant by 19, then went to Bethel for a year.
I always had minor doubts from time to time, but nothing serious. Always dismissed doubts and decided to "just have faith."
After leaving Bethel, I was never really firing on all cylinders "spiritually speaking." I would go through spurts of activity from time to time, only to lose energy and get spiritually burned out and give in to "temptation" to skip meetings, service, etc.
Fast forward to Summer 2014. I'm attending one of the Regional Conventions. I cried every day, knowing that I could be doing more for Jehovah. I resolved that weekend to go back home to my congregation with a renewed vigor.
Went to every single meeting again. Service every weekend. Aux Pioneered during the CO visit. Helped with KH cleaning on Saturday afternoons when it was needed. Started getting privileges again. Prayer at meetings for service, then mid week meetings. More talks were assigned to me. The so-called "shepherds" of the congregation gave me many pats on the back. Encouraged me to "keep up the good work."
Around October, right after the annual meeting and premiere of the first broadcast (which made me cry again), I prayed for a bible study. That weekend after I prayed, wouldn't you know it, Jehovah blessed me with a study!
This was the first bible study I started since I was a teenager - 15 years or so.
I was freaking out. I realized I had never really studied the Bible Teach book on my own. What was I going to do when my student asked me questions? Just tell him these things were true because it said so in this book? No! That wasn't good teaching!
I decided to study the book with a passion, confirming everything from independent sources so I could inculcate the teachings with conviction to my student. If the society used Encyclopedias to backup their claims, I should do that too, right? I am specifically avoiding apostate sites. Looking for academic sources in everything I can find.
So, I get to the 1914 doctrine in my studies. I thoroughly am able to explain the doctrine backwards and forwards using the Society's reasonings. So, to confirm my explanation, of course, I start with the destruction of Jerusalem. 607 B.C.E. I pull up the Wikipedia article on the Siege of Jerusalem by Nebuchadnezzar and realize that there's nothing about 607 BCE. I'm confused. 587 BCE is all over the place.
What to do? Off to the Watchtower Online Library! I type in 587 BCE, read these articles:
When was Ancient Jerusalem destroyed? - Part 1
When was Ancient Jerusalem destroyed? - Part 2
I was floored at the flimsy evidence. There is no evidence to support their theory beyond conjecture. Compared with the amount of evidence in support of 587 BCE, I realized the Society was mistaken about 607. Dominos started falling. If 607 is false, then 1914 is false. If 1914 is false then 1919 "cleansing" is false. If 1919 is false, then GB wasn't chosen as the FDS.
My head was swimming.
I talked to my Dad about what I had found. He said, "Son, we have to ask ourselves, do we have faith that what the Bible says is true? If archeology conflicts with the Bible, we have to side with the scriptures."
At the time, I took this to heart and decided, yet again, to just have faith..."wait on Jehovah."
It was at this point that I decided to stop researching everything for the moment.
Fast forward to November 2014. Everyone was excited! We were having a special meeting! The Branch visit! This was going to be so encouraging!
Two words: Tight Pants.
I was pissed. Where did Morris get off saying what he did in front of more than a million people? Doesn't he know interested ones might be in attendance?
At that point, I was so pissed, but couldn't say anything about it. So I decided to google Anthony Morris III to see if any media had picked up on it.
Yep. They sure had. That google search also led me to this site where I started lurking.
I'll admit - even though I was waking up, at first this site seemed at face value full of a bunch of bitter, hateful people with a "sour-grapes" attitude. But I did like reading the threads about Tight Pants Tony.
The more I lurked, the more I read the horrible stories of how people were treated by the organization. It became an obsession. I kept looking for peoples disfellowshipping stories...
I decided to start researching again. This time, I checked out JW Facts. Every point on JW Facts, I cross referenced to make sure it wasn't a false claim.
I was freaking out. I WAS IN A FALSE RELIGION. These people did NOT have God's blessing, much less his spirit.
I couldn't concentrate on anything. Late December, I got sick and decided to download Crisis of Conscience and read it.
I couldn't put it down. I speed-read it in a few days.
The next week, at work, I joined the forum and made this post, and the rest is history.
***Disclaimer: In the month or two I first started posting here, I would change details or make up certain details about my life because I was extremely paranoid of some imagined elder spy network that monitored this site. So, some of my early posts may conflict with what some of you may now know about me. Sorry about that! I feel bad for lying to a group of people that have helped me so much.***