My B/F told me he's a J/W after months of dating!

by Funky_Diva_53_2000 81 Replies latest social relationships

  • NeonMadman
    NeonMadman

    brokenheartedidiot, I have a feeling you are not going to get the sympathy you are looking for in this forum. While you protest that we don't know the specifics of your situation, enough information has been posted here for many of us to recognize situations we have seen over and over again. As LB pointed out, you are far from the first young JW man to desire"forbidden fruit".

    While your screen name implies that you have some degree of sorrow over your actions, I must note that there is no note of contrition in your comments here thus far. And there should be. You were far less than honest with this girl for quite some time, if her remarks are accurate. You say that you "don't have a double life", but the fact that you may have "come clean" now does not excuse your earlier actions. As I pointed out previously in this thread, she ought to be asking herself whether she can really trust you. If you really want her as anything other than a plaything, then you ought to show some genuine sorrow over the fact that you deceived her.

    Remember as you post here that this is an open forum, and the majority of those who post here are persons who have left the organization. Many of us have been hurt by the organization and its unscriptural policies, and are here to get some measure of healing and closure. You say that you cannot ignore the "hallmarks of true religion," but many of us here find that statement ludicrous as applied to the Watchtower. The only criteria for true religion that are fulfilled by the Watchtower are the ones that they themselves set. The scriptural criteria found in the Bible disqualifies them completely as being the true religion. For example, they refer to their prophetic errors as "mistakes," yet these teachings (particularly the one about the 1914 generation) were presented as "the Creator's promise" and "Jehovah's prophetic word." Predictions made in the name of the Creator, which fail to come true, are not "mistakes," they are false prophecies, and the one advancing them is a false prophet. Likewise, the Society's more recent actions with regard to the UN issue and the current pedophile scandal would preclude its representing the God of the Bible in any way, or being the true religion.

    You say that you are an avid Bible reader, and I know that some JW's are (certainly not all). But JW's read the Bible through Watchtower-colored glasses. For example, what do you do if you read a passage in the Bible that you do not understand? If you are like most JW's, you go to the Society's indexes to look up the meaning. But in doing so, you filter all scripture through Watchtower teachings. The Bible is the word of God, not the Watchtower. If you were to start reading the Bible alone, you would quickly find that its message is very different from what the Watchtower teaches. For example, JW's speak of themselves as being "in the truth," meaning 'in the JW organization.' But the Bible teaches differently. John 14:6 tells us that the Truth is not a set of doctrines, or an organization, but a person, Jesus Christ. That's only one small example. There are hundreds.

    So, why have I told you all this negative stuff about the JW organization, when your concern here is your relationship with Funkydiva? Because in this might lie the key to your actually having a successful relationship with her. You feel that you must choose between Jehovah and her, but this is not the case. If you honestly examine your religion (as many Watchtower publications urge people to do), you will find that it cannot be what it claims to be. And if that is truly the case, you will only be giving up a relationship with a man-made organization, not with God Himself. Nowhere in the Bible does God require membership in an organization to have a relationship with Him. What He requires is faith in his Son.

    If you really do love Funkydiva, you should at least honestly consider and investigate the possibility that she is right and you are wrong about the JW organization. If you don't have enough respect for her opinion to do so, then that should be yet another "red flag" for her.

  • larc
    larc

    Hey brokenhearted, You say the WT humbly admitts it's mistakes. They never do this, and you know it. After the failed prophecy of 1925 and 1975 they blamed the rank and file for misreading what was written in the magazines. Now, if you don't believe me, then do some research.

  • detective
    detective

    Oooooh. I was really going to stay away from this one but I...can't...resist.

    BrokenH.Idiot,
    Do they hand out a manual to you folks on how to string along worldly people? Seriously, I'm shocked at how familiar your sentiments are! Why? Because I've heard them ad nauseum from a JW friend. I'm not a witness so I actually thought it was a fairly unique circumstance when I first heard those "I'm so torn" ramblings. Jehovah versus my worldly girlfriend/boyfriend... what to do? You sound EXACTLY like my friend. I suspect you'd be pretty alarmed if you realized the striking similarities in your "defense". Please, B.H. Idiot, break up with this girl immediately. PRONTO.
    I have ZERO sympathy for you, B.H. Idiot. You're too cowardly to look at the facts about your religion, you misled your girlfriend and now you have the nerve to try to equate dating a nice girl with violating god- gimme a break!!

    Somebody told you you can't have both... and you bought it hook, line and sinker. How foolish! He hasn't seen through the scheming of a high control group that will do anything to keep him in it's clutches- including implying that he will be offensive to god for loving someone outside his group. What utter hogwash! I think Funky deserves a smarter fella than that! I know she deserves a guy who is honest with her.

    Buddy, I know what you're going to say before you say it. Believe me, I wish I didn't!! I'd rather you surprise me but after reading your posts so far, I seriously doubt it! So, either step up and start reading up on your religion and the bible from sources outside your group or walk on, pal. Isn't your girl worth a little effort on your part? Isn't she worth a trip to the library? How about a surf to www.freeminds.com? If you can't do that much, then I'd be really disgusted.

    Funky,
    He either is ready to learn more about his religion or he isn't (mind you, he doesn't have to agree with it but he needs to know it either way). You don't stand a chance until he is ready to do his homework. If he can't do that much then get rid of him. Either he cracks a book or you show him the door. IMMEDIATELY. He's too indoctrinated and afraid to be a viable mate at this point. And his hanging on to you is wrong, knowing full well that he has no intention of really reviewing his situation.

    Tell him to step up or step away.

  • LB
    LB

    Aaah detective he's a special lad isn't he. Telling us to be careful or we may ruin a chance at true love. I hope FunkyDiva is smarter than the average 17 year old. This guy is playing her on the forums now. After all, she'll have to give in to him, he's willing to die for her. Good grief.

    I really hope she is smart and drops him fast. He is a liar, nevermind what his religion is, he lied to her. Was he so ashamed of his faith that he had to lie about it? Just keeping the fact that he is a JW a secret is a HUGE red flag and I am glad she noticed. Now I hope she has figured this fake out and ends it for good.

  • willy_think
    willy_think

    LB

    So nice I had to read it twice.

    As long as you have this mentality that being with funkydiva equates with death then I suggest you back off and leave the poor girl alone. Or is that just another ploy to bed her?

    As long as you have this mentality that being with funkydiva equates with death then I suggest you back off and leave the poor girl alone. Or is that just another ploy to bed her?

  • LB
    LB

    Thanks Willy. What seems so obvious to me is something that I hope also seems obvious to funkydiva. She's young and this crap just might work on her.

    The only thing that would be worse than this guy having his way with her is if he actually talked her into joining the cult. Each day I regret having ever joined that thing. Walking away was the first smart thing I did since joining.

  • AjaxMan
    AjaxMan

    BrokenHeartIdiot:

    Welcome and Nice name that truly fits you... IDIOT!!!

    You are a baptized JW and you know very well about the consequences of dating a non-JW. You already know how your relationship is gonna end: You'll be pressured by your family, your congregation as well by your conscience to convince FunkyDiva to convert... OR... they will either reprove you or more likely, disfellowship you if you don't stop seeing her.

    If you know the rules in your religion, then STOP playing with her and be REALLY honest with her about where your relationship is going. Don't tell me I don't have any idea about your relationship with FunkyDiva. I've been there, done that and I am extremely angry as well as resented toward your religion and toward the WatchTower Society.

    Like I said, your name fits you.... IDIOT!!!

  • brokenheartedidiot
    brokenheartedidiot

    I'd like to have a brief desrcription of what religion/faith all of you are, what you call yourselves, what you stand for, the God you worship, what sets you apart from others, and what makes you right, please.

  • ISP
    ISP

    You mean you didn't find out or guess first.......

    ISP

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    I'd like to have a brief desrcription of what religion/faith all of you are, what you call yourselves, what you stand for, the God you worship, what sets you apart from others
    Oooh, here comes the standard wt procedure of classifying and categorising people. That way this idiot plans to refute whatever we stand for, w arguements that the wt applies to those issues. Kind of messes up the wt system when no one stands for anything. All are individuals that they can't be classified except w the word 'apostate'.

    Hey, idiot, you're up against a thousand arguements here. We on the other hand, have only your stupid wt reasonings to deal with, and we have a thousand ways to attack them. But stick around. See for yourself how wt theology is rotten to the core.

    SS

    Edited by - saintsatan on 11 July 2002 11:44:43

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