What makes you think we don't care,BHI? Is it because the stinging reality that's been injected into this thread? I feel bad for you but at the same time I'm not ready to hear poor excuses for bad behavior. You're in a tough spot. Not because of this girl, but because of the restrictive environment in which you dwell. You should be able to look at your religion- good and bad- and be free enough to assess whether or not it's really all it claims it is. But if you rely solely on what they claim then you will never really make that assessment honestly. You're stuck- and I feel bad that you are.
But... being in a bad spot doesn't give you the right to drag an innocent bystander into your situation. And that's exactly what you are doing. Putting all sorts of pressure on your relationship as if it's your coupledom versus god is unfair. And I can't imagine any seventeen year old girl can really handle that strain. I don't know of any mature adults who can grow and prosper in a situation like that actually! your relationship will have enough ups and downs as you grow into adulthood as it is. Being a member of a high control group and the baggage that goes along with it is additional strain that will take a long time to work through. The odds are against you two but I'm not saying it can't be done.
So, you have two completely separate issues to deal with. First, you have to do more than just soul searching. You have to do serious research on the bible and on your religion. NOT from sources provided by your religion either. But from a more well-rounded array of sources. Stop pitting your relationship against your religion. That's not what this is about.
Second, you have a young girl who is very smitten with you. You have a responsibility to treat her right. that means no more lying. NO MORE LYING, you understand what I'm saying here? You don't have to marry the girl, but you have to be serious about being a partner in a growing relationship. If you can't do that, then walk away. And keep in mind that it is not legal to fool around with this young girl in many states. Keep it clean, for both your sakes.
Perhaps you should consider taking a three month vacation from both your girlfriend and meetings. Explain what you're doing and tell her you'll call her in three months. In the meantime- no meetings, no field service and no magazines or books put out by your religion. Take this time to investigate, to soul search and to start to sort out who you are without the organization or your girlfriend coloring it. Honestly, I doubt you'd take this suggestion though I think it's a pretty good one.
You brought someone into this situation, that's been done. Now it's time to look after both of you. But, I think it would be a terrible waste if you walked away from this experience without knowing the lesson in it. If you don't make that heartache mean something by just returning to your old ways, then you've missed the whole point. Don't waste lifes little lessons or you'll just end up a conscienceless drone. Make this situation mean something to your growth as a person. And if you let it just be some indescretion that you apologise for and try to tuck away, I really think that's horrible and disgusting. Please don't be one of those people. Be a better person than that. Take this situation and let it be a point of growth and self-exploration. oh yeah, and try not to take anymore unwitting victims into this mess until you've got a better hold of who are, what you're involved in and what kind of true friend you can be.
