by invisible 26 Replies latest jw friends
out4good3
Finally, there's brother over-the-hill who has after failing to "beat into subjection" his first wife, outlived the second, now has a nice little 18 year old trophy hanging on his side that without the aid of viagra or a pump, he couldn't possibly keep up with sexuallyThis sounds pretty close to my ex except he beat the first two wives and is still looking for #3. And he never had any idea about good sex so I doubt that will change.
At 21, my best friend, who was simply gorgeous, married a 35 year old elder from another congregation. At the time he was considered quite the catch as he was a pioneer and being groomed to be a CO. And naturally, everyone thought he was quite 'honorable' for delaying the marriage until she'd reached the ripe age of 21.
Shortly after marriage she became an elder's widow because he was never home and she constantly shared him with the congregation and PO. He coerced her into cutting her beautiful hair into a short do so she would look older and she also took to wearing dowdy long and loose skirts.
This was the norm in that area because the supply of men in that congregation was half that of the females and beautiful women like my friend who would have been lusted after by worldly men often felt lucky to have gotten picked at all.
Confession time: When I married the first time as a JW I was 24 and my bride was nearly 19. We dated for 6 months, got engaged and married within 6 months. She later felt that she was forced in to marriage as the thing to do and we divorced 13 years later.
I met the future Mrs. Thirdson four years ago. We began dating a few months later. After a year of dating I proposed and we spent a year planning our wedding. I am, uh hum! 16 years older. I never expected this. I didn't think she would go out with me. I didn't think she would want to be a step mom. But you can't predict an outcome when it comes to affairs of the heart.
Despite our age difference, my wife's parents were welcoming and hospitable to me. I joke that meeting her dad was like the meeting in the movie "Meet the Parents." However, Mrs. Thirdson says I was her first boyfriend who wasn't intimidated by her school teacher father, but then again he couldn't ask what I intended to do with my life when I had already achieved many of career goals and was making a decent income as a consultant for a software company. On the other hand, my parents were totally against our dating. While many would be pleased with me dating a woman who double majored in college, speaks a second language, is gifted musically, has spiritual/religious convictions, is gainfully employed, supports herself and has no debt--my parents were dead against our relationship because she wasn't a JW. (It didn't seem to matter that I wasn't a JW any longer either.) Our age difference seemed to be their least concern but unfortunately their attitude soured relationships and they have never gotten to know my wife, which is sad in a way. She used to lament that I didn't have a "normal" family, but my being part of hers now has made up for some of the disappointment.
Thirdson
What is generally acceptable? It's hard to say exactly who or what is too much of an age difference, I just turned 31. I'll likely be single again soon. Where's my cutoff line?
My husband is 16 years my senior. When we first started dating I didn't know this until someone made a joke about it one day. the age difference has no bearing on our marriage! We have a lot in common and compliment each other well. But I do have to say this...had I been 18/19/20 and marrying a man quite a bit older than me may have spelled disaster. Given I was over 30 when we married, I had gone thru the stage of finding out who I am. I came into this marriage knowing exactly what I wanted, what I didn't want and knew exactly who I was. Marriage is hard enough let alone adding pressures of 'growing up' and finding out who you are.
I recall one rather strange situation. This guy around 18 married this sister when she was around 16. It didn't take too long till they had a child. Then things got stormy in the marriage and they fought a lot. He goes to his mother in law for advice which ended up being "lets go to bed". Apparently he thought that was good advice. This culminated in him divorcing his wife and marrying his mother in law.. He was around 20 and his new wife was around 45. This was apparently not a problem for them, because they soon had a baby. Now she looked to be around 55. He and his brother in law would skateboard together for amusement. Now he was his ex wifes step father, his first childs father and step grandfather, his mother in laws husband and his wifes ex son in law. I don't have a clue as to who the rest of his relations were to him-them-her- and the others.
I always thought of him as rather an odd fellow.Then after all this I just didn't know what to think. When I would run into him after that I didn't know what to say. I just had this shit eating grin on my face and he did also. Then after my first jw wife abandoned me and our 4 children I found myself a single father. This triggered a lot of attention from some unmarried sisters. One day I go to the tuesday bible study group and there with her baby sat the young sister this guy had married and then divorced in favor of her mother. She gave me this big grin when I walked in. I was terrified.
My wifes Mother "encouraged" My wife hanging out with a man 10+ years older than her when she was 13 years old. The guy never tried anything but was abviously trying to lay the groundwork for possible marriage. My wifes mother was angry when my wife decided she didn't want to hang out with this guy anymore. Currently we have a JW family Member who is condoning her 15 year old duaghter to see a 26 year old JW man from the congregation. This girl, at 15 is built like a 21 year old. Her momo is trying to bring the boyfriend around at family gatherings and such. Myself and A non JW cousin told her if she brought him around us we would have to "take him for a walk". This is pedophilia plain and simple. I can't understand how someone could condone it. I have heard many stories of the same type of "Arrangements" though. Coincidentally, the 15 yewar old now wants to get baptised. SICK!
