My wonderful mother

rnovello

Today is the day my mother was born. She passed away 1 year and 6 days ago. I guess I need some friends. No one here seems to notice or care. My grief has been ovewhelming to where I can barely function this past year. A year before that my sister died. They were both with me. I believed so long in the JWs. I just dont think I can take it any more. I loved my mother so much and not bear to be with out her much longer.

scootergirl

I am sorry to hear of your mother's passing and also of your sister's.

Grief is a terrible thing to go thru......I know from first hand experience (as well as others here also). I hope that your pain eases with time and that you find the comfort in treasured memories.

Makena1

((((((((Movello))))))

I am so sorry to hear about your mother and your sister's deaths. Losing a mother that you obviously were so close to is an immeasurable loss.

I was very close to my mother too. She passed away suddenly almost 10 years ago. I still miss her very much, however, time and healing does take place. I try very hard to remember the kindness and good things she did for me and others.

Reaching out to others as you are doing here is a good thing. I would also recommend meeting with some support groups who specialize in grief counseling.

Finally, imagine what your mother would tell you right now if she could to help you cope with your grief.

Things will get better - do NOT give up!

Wishing you comfort and hope,

Mak

outnfree

(((((((((Movello)))))))))

I am sorry for your loss. I lost my father at 19 and I have also experienced the death of my sister. My e-mail is open anytime you want to talk. I understand how overwhelming it can be to lose two relatives in quick succession.

It sounds like you are suffering from depression, so I would suggest you contact a hotline as soon as possible to 1) hear a live person with whom you can share your anguish; and 2) get a referral to a grief counselor in your area. Losing your mother, your sister [and your religion?] all within 18 months are tremendous stress factors. Please get help immediately.

Warm regards,

outnfree

LeslieV

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother and sister. Grief has so many different ways that it is expressed. Sadness, anger, shock, guilt, fear, numbness. Sometimes the grief is so overwhelming that it can paralyze us.

Unfortunately in the JW religion one is not supported many times through the grief process. They use scriptures to tell ones that they should not mourn as the rest since they have a hope yadda yadda yadda. You feel sometimes like people have already forgotten that important person. It is like the rest of the world is still functioning and no one is noticing the pain that you are in.

If the pain gets to the point that you can not function in your daily activites it might be that you need outside intervention. It is ok to find someone to talk to about your grief. In no way does that make you crazy, or you can not cope. We all need support sometimes in our life. You could call The Salvation Army, Catholic Charities and find out if there is a local support group that deals with grief. Just a few ideas..just know that you are in my thoughts.

Leslie

Nanoprobe

Finding out your religion is a "crock" is hard, too. It's almost like another death or at least a divorce. It is a lot to go thru at once.

Maybe it would make you feel better to talk about your mother and sister, they must have been very special. Why don't you tell us about them?

Edited by - nanoprobe on 9 July 2002 14:0:14

DINKY

I'm so sorry about your losses - your mother and your sister. Is your father still living? Any other siblings? Were there health problems? Please share with us when you feel like it.

Namaste,

Dinky

jaded

Yes, this is a lot to go through all at once. Please know that we do care.

Dawn

Hi Movello:

I am sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my father in October very suddenly and can understand what you are going through. I was fortunate enough to have a lot of support around me (my husband and friends) - but I have days, sometimes even weeks when I'm really sad all over again. Everyone deals with death differently - my brother (an elder) seemed fine by all outward appearances - was strong and encouraging to everyone. But he didn't deal with it at all and went into a real bad depression also - he is currently in counseling. My mom went into a severe depression for about 6 months but is getting a lot better now. My son was very close to my father and has yet to really talk about it or deal with it. People grieve in their own way and time so don't let anyone tell you that you should be "over it by now". I don't think you ever get "over it" - you just live with it, and a day will come when you can remember the good times without the heartbreaking feeling of loss.

I would very strongly recommend that you find a counselor or support group. They can help you to deal with your grief in a positive way - and it helps to have the support from others. It helped me to post my feelings on this forum also - hearing that others had been through the same thing and were recovering gave me hope.

One last note - sometimes our "friends" don't seem very supportive. It's not that they don't care, but if they have never been through it they may not know what to say and just try to avoid the subject (and you) all together. I was guilty of the exact same thing in the past - now I realize what a &hit I was.

Hang in there and please see a counselor - it can help tremendously!!

truthseeker1

I lost my father a while ago, back in 93 but it is still painful. My wife lost her mother a couple of years ago and it brought back lots of painful memories. Its hard to deal with. I know everyone tells you it gets better over time and I got angry when they would tell me that. I didn't want it to get better! I just wanted my dad back. Why should I feel better about losing someone so close to me? But the world does go on, and eventually you will find your place in it. It helps to think about him a lot, also to find someone in your life to fill the gap. Not a replacement or anything, because nobody can replace what you lost. Just someone to be there for you when that person was there for you. I had a problem with this in sports in HS. My dad always encouraged me and went to all the games (coached sometimes) i was in. After he died, I stopped playing because nobody would go and see me. I would have loved for someone to be there for me for things like that.

Well, enough of my sad story. We are all here for you if you need to chat and stuff.

My wonderful mother

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