by safe4kids 31 Replies latest watchtower medical
what gives you a measure of pride and personal satisfaction?
Helping children. My children and other children. Noticing a new shirt, smiling, having a "child's" conversation with a child. Bridging the gap between the "old" child in me and the "new" child in them gives me great satisfaction.
That's one thing anyway. Thanks for the topic!
IW
What, no boobies? The travesty...
Actually, for self esteem, it's always great for me to grab a bit of fresh air, decorate my house, or take a warm bath. Also, expressing myself through art of some type helps a bit also. Anything to put me into a better frame of mind usually does wonders for my self-worth as well.
FYI -- YES YES, so Dana, you are coming down 'eh? I CANNOT WAIT! You are one awesome chick and I look forward (big time) to hooking up with you again! Carol (Spice) will never be the same!!! LOL
Kisses,
Moe
HI GUYS. Makes me sad to read about what you are going through.Brings back a lot of memories. In my journey through this I learned that we have a type of filter in our mind that only lets in what we think we deserve in the way of compliments and positive feedback from others. Being a jw for a time will make that filter almost closed to positive thoughts or feed back re. ourselves. The next time someone says something positive about you to you, take notice of how you respond emotionaly. If you find yourself shruging it off as "its nothing" "if anybody can screw it up I can" type of thiking the filter is closed. It is closed to even attempts to build up your self esteem by yourself & others. This means you will have to work on this and you may need some professional help to do so.
The other thing I learned is that we have to be able to forgive ourselves for things in the past that we wish we had not done or things we ought to have done and the things we lost due to being trapped in the jw borg. Every one makes mistakes "sins if you will". let these things go and teach yourself to believe that you are as good a person as most of us and better than some. learning to accept some praise or complinents with a gracious "thank you" and-- no more-- is the way to start this. Don't say thank you and then denigrate the compliment with an attempt at humility. If you are troubled deeply please do seek professional help. Contrary to jw thinking, this is not an admission of weakness. It is the sensible and very acceptable thing to do.
I wish you the very best in everything. I can tell by what you wrote that you are a kind and loveable person. You deserve to be loved-cared for- and respected by others and yourself. Make anything short of this an unacceptable option. Remove the word I "should" be this or that from your vocabulary. You are a person unique to yourself. You deserve and can have all the very best the world has to offer.
Carol (Spice) will never be the same!!!
Uh Oh... I smell trouble...
Hmmm...maybe its Dana that won't be the same...lol
Spice/Carol
Carol -- <*enter wicked Mad Scientist voice*> Perhaps... perhaps... and perhaps none of us will be the same... <*enter evil laugh*>
Kisses,
Moe
I thought this was a thread about a woman with low self esteem because she had no boobs
I only thought it was appropriate that I post here as the word boobies are in the title. Hmmm, slash off those last couple of letters from title and you get...... hmmmmm
Self esteem is a problem with almost everyone. One suggestion is to hang around people that build you up. Tell you how smart, pretty, clever you are. If they are negative, dump them.
OK, the last few comments in thread are weird, yet oddly arousing, like Anna Nicole Smith.
Helping others is the thing that makes me feel really good! I work with a team of guys who use the software I write, so writing software that lets them get stuff done quickly is really a big boost, plus I try and help people to avoid being assimilated into the Collective too.
Julien, I'm LMAO here! Thanks for the guffaw.
Out, thank you for your input and well wishes. You made some excellent points, especially about removing "should" from one's vocabulary. It's difficult to overcome a lifetime of programming.
Spice and Moe....you guys are scaring me now! Actually, I need a life-shaking experience. I've got the next two weeks (beginning this Sunday) free, so you two let me know when would work best for you.
IW, YES! Seeing life from a child's perspective is very heartening at times. Sometimes I get so caught up in being "Mom" I forget to relax and be a kid. Thanks for the reminder.
LB and Syn, thanks for your comments. Staying away from negative people AND negative thinking is vital and Syn, I agree that helping others gives me a boost too. It certainly takes me out of my own head, which really is a place I should never visit alone!
Dana
Edited by - safe4kids on 10 July 2002 12:55:48
Dana, Dana, Dana....
I had to laugh when I read the title of your thread...because as your big sister the one thing I was always jealous of with you was the fact that your boobs were bigger than mine! Back when we were younger....that was really important, you know?
You, my dear sister, have grown so much in the past two years....your self esteem issues will soon be a thing of the past. You broke the dysfunctional cycle of our family, and are raising your children in a healthy, stable home. You are still good friends with the kids father...no small feat in this day and age. You are the only one of us four kids to get a college degree. You look better than you've looked in 10 years (not that looks are all important, but hey, it sure doesn't hurt!) Let's see, you own your own home, and are financially comfortable...not wealthy, but comfortable. Your kids are healthy, happy and beautiful...they love you dearly. Your nephews think you are the coolest relative they have...and they love you dearly.
Woman, what the hell is wrong with you? Count your blessings and keep the forward momentum going. These little setbacks will seem such a silly thing a few years down the road. Many women would envy you the position you have in life right now. Young, healthy, good looking, getting ready to graduate soon....your whole future ahead of you still. And oh yeah....the best damn sister anyone could hope to have rooting for you. So don't make me spank you again....give yourself permission to be human and make mistakes...and live each day to the fullest. You know that's my motto!
Tracy
