Embarrassed

WildTurkey

Sometimes when I think back about when I was a dub, I get a little embarrassed. I remember telling my kids not to draw on Watchtower mags (I also had to tell their mother) I was a grown man and would let nerd elders counsel me for dumb things, like saying the word luck, or bulletin board. I remember getting to the end of the month and not having the cong average field service time and start to worry what the other elders and CO would say. I can remember staying out to late on Friday night, then drag my ass out of bed to go in field service Saturday, for Jehovah? No, so the brothers would not get upset! I can remember sleepless nights, because my conscience bothered me, because of the way my wife and I had sex (my wife is a freak yall). I remember making my boys wear ties to the KH when they were just 2 and 3 years old, my little girl had to wear a dress.

How about you?

Dutchie

Hi Wild Turkey. What's the matter with saying "Bulletin Board"?

SixofNine

OH Dutchie! BB is a classic, it really takes the cake. It's the pinnacle of JW anal idiocy. "Bulletin board" comes from the Catholic practice of posting papal Bull, basically the Pope's decrees. (go here for details: http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/03052b.htm)

WildTurkey

Bulletin board is from the Catholic Church Papal Bull. thats why Jws say Information board

Edited by - WildTurkey on 14 July 2002 12:10:48

Scully

Dutchie asked: "What's the matter with saying "Bulletin Board"?"

In our KH it was referred to as "The Notice Board". They claimed "Bulletin Board" was too worldly. I think it was because the term "Bulletin Board" made it too close to what it actually was: BULL.

WT: You've got it nailed, my friend. The pressure to "measure up" and "not stumble others" was overwhelming sometimes. On the other hand, nobody seemed to give a rat's a$$ if something THEY DID stumbled YOU. If that happened, you were told that you obviously weren't spiritually mature if you let something "so trivial" stumble you, and that YOU had the responsibility to forgive your brother/sister for their imperfections.

You were never important enough to matter, it was always the pretense, always the image, always the way things looked to outsiders, that won out over your own feelings and reasoning ability.

Love, Scully

SixofNine

Oh yeah, good topic WT. Yes, I do get a bit embarrassed thinking back. It all seems so trivial now, it's embarrassing to think that as a grown man, I sweated some of this stuff. "Sweated" is too mild, we anguished over this stuff, cryed about it, wondered if god accepted us, wondered if we were good enough. Good enough people, good enough parents, good enough neighbors.

The one that embarrasses me the most though, is not a small thing. I fear I would not have had what it takes to do what "Shunned Father" did. I just don't know, and as it turns out, that is the issue that broke the camels back for me. But would I have looked openmindedly, in an emergency situation? I just don't know, and it haunts me.

Dutchie

Thanks everyone! You know I never knew that!

LizardSnot

When I was a dub child the majority of my clothes were hand me downs and garage sale clothes.

My tie collection consisted of stripped, too ugly for wearin', out of style grandpa ties *that obviously were being sold because even the grandpa's didnt like them anymore. I love how mom used to lie out her a$$ to us and tell us that our clothes were in style.

She would tell us that in the new system we wouldnt even need any clothes. *hey mom....ewwwwwwww!

Yes me and my brother were those poor unfortunate dub kids that you saw coming in late to the meetings looking like we just arrived from the goodwill store. OMG...my mom used to wear wigs too...ones that she got from the older ladies in the congregation.

For crying out loud, she was in her twenties...what was she thinking?

So here is the hell of it....we didnt fit in at school because of being dubs....

We didnt fit in at the kingdom hall because of our apparent poverty. Funny, Dad made plenty of money *never understood that

Yep mom made quite sure my bro and I didnt get laid LMAO. The girls at the hall didnt have anything to do with me until I was a senior in high school.

Well, Wildturkey....to summarize...yes...I was a tad bit embarrassed...*like all my waking hours

Sure hope mom's group therapy is helping... :)

Lizard

WildTurkey

Hey Liz, I know how you feel, my mom did the same thing, she got all our suits at yard sales and Goodwill and hell yes they were way out of style. I remember going out in service with a white shirt and white pants and a solid black tie, and the brother that was in charge for the day said in front of the whole group, hey look the milkman is here, god I wanted to die, but he was our loving leader.

Xena

Bulletin Board? lol never knew that one...

I had a drawer full of safety pins...gotta pin the top closed..heaven forbid any cleavage show...gotta pin the slits up...for god's sake don't show any leg....

Going shopping was a challange to say the least...and swimsuit shopping??? To much leg...to low cut...no two pieces...

And judgemental? I cringe now thinking about some of the things I thought and said about other people!

Yes I am embarrassed at the person I was, the person I let a group of men tell me I needed to be for God to judge me "worthy".....

Embarrassed

Share this