New here

EMTmom

First I just want to say how much this forum has helped me. I get on here every day and read what's new. =)

A little about me. . . I am 27 years old and have been married since I was 18 (since there isn't anything else for a good Sister to do besides get married or pioneer and I wasn't about to pioneer. ) I was raised in the "Truth" and my Mom died when I was 9 from pregnancy complications. Her uterus ruptured when she was 7 months pregnant and due to refusing blood, she bled to death. My dad remarried a "loving" Sister less than a year later and they have since DA'd themselves. I then married a Brother who was a family friend. I now have 4 children ages 6, 5, 3, and 1.

I cannot express to you all how I feel right now. I have been at a cross road for several years, but since I have heard of the "Blinking Light" regarding the blood issue, I am speechless. But the thing that through me over the top was the issue with the UN. Unfortunately, my husband does not see it the way I do and I am afraid it is tearing our marriage apart.

He wants me to write to the Society and see what they have to say. My claims don't mean much since they "come from Apostates online". I am tempted to write to them, knowing full well that they will write to the Elders at my local Hall, to come pay me a visit. I am not sure how my marriage can survive all this. The more I push the more he pulls away from me.

Anyway, I didn't mean for this to be long and drawn out. I just wanted to say how much I appreciate reading this forum and I look forward to lurking here every day. =)

SpiceItUp

welcome and (((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))) to you.

I wish I had some advice but I have never been married, but I'm sure you will receive lots of input and support from the great people here.

Spice

EMTmom

Thanks Spice, I appreciate it. =)

zenpunk

(((WELCOME))). My husband and I were both regular pioneers. Then, my husband returned from pioneer school and said he would never set foot in the Kingdom Hall again - he said he had finally seen the light of hypocracy.

Needless to say - I was upset and floored. I continued going to meetings and played the roll of the wife whose wicked husband had DA'd himself. But, finally, through my stubborness I began to see that the points he was making to me were correct. I also began to realize that I had always been treated as "not quite worthy" by the organization and now was being labeled as the sister who needed help because of what had happened. So I finally left as well - the evidence was too great to ignore.

That was over 7 years ago....

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, stand up for how you truly feel - you never know.

Sirona

HI EMTmom,

Welcome!

I'm sorry to hear of your recent troubles. I was in a similar position to yourself a couple of years ago. I was married at 20 - no kids. When I started questioning the organisation I had trouble in my marriage, elders visits etc. My husband left the JWs too, and left me.

I'd advise that you don't talk too much about your doubts at the moment. You may wish to discuss them with your husband, but honestly I'd be very careful what you say. It's better to bite your tongue for a while until you know what you want to do. If you decide to stop attending meetings or leave entirely, you can face things then. I think keep a peaceful home is the best idea right now. Of course, its totally your choice but by experience I found that I just pushed my hubby away.

Having elders visiting will not help things. They don't have the answers (I found out) and you will be put down and told that you are having bad association online. One elder even said I was using the devil's reasoning.

Anyway, keep on posting,

Sirona

EMTmom

Thanks Zenpunk and Sirona.

I guess the old saying, "You catch more flys with honey" might hold true in this instance. I have been trying real hard to bite my tongue because usually speaking up only gets me ticked off and starts an argument, which isn't what I want.

I just get so frustrated because it makes sense to me. Although, I have had time to let this sink in. I really don't want to go to the meetings anymore (I am starting a job at the Sheriff's department soon and I am hoping they put me on second shift), but I also don't want my husband to turn into this wonderful martyr who drags 4 young child with him by himself either.

I am sure I will figure something out.

Shutterbug

"He wants me to write to the Society and see what they have to say."

If your husband can't defend the WTS's stance on these issues, perhaps he should write and ask the questions. Regardless of which one of you writes, the results will be the same, a visit from the elders. Surely he knows that, but he is asking you to stick your neck out. But whatever you may decide, Spice is absoluty correct, you will receive support from the folks on this forum.

Best wishes

outoftheorg

If he pulls away when you push, stop pushing! Slow down and let him get over the shock of your decision. Ask a question about something like the un thing and then drop it. Avoid Issues like beliefs trinity- christ etc. stick with things like blood issue changes transplant changes the change in military service options the things that show inconsistancies. Be calm loving and kind. He didn't get to where he is over night it took time. It will take him time to see these things. Keep viewing here and you will see the tactics that are working. Several here have been through what you are facing. Ask questions and you will get some very good advice.

Wish you the very best.

outnfree

Welcome to the Board, EMTmom!

I agree with the others that you should STOP PUSHING. How long did it take you, lurking here, to be convinced that something was seriously amiss?

A good idea might be for you to review an article on the freeminds.org site http://www.freeminds.org/psych/exithelp.htm

It was written by an elder (Amazing), and I realize that you don't conduct your family's Bible studies, (being a woman and all) but the patient way that Jim turned his family around might be something to mimic if you want to survive with your family intact.

And DO NOT write the Society. Rather, perhaps research more on the UN here on the board with the excellent scanned downloads that are available on the threads. (Look for hawkaw's posts under "Members".)

Good luck!

outnfree

Mister Biggs

Welcome, EMTmom!

You and I are in similar situations. I look forward to reading more piosts from you!

New here

Share this