A close examination of the Bible will show that God's people were ALWAYS led by a committee.
Abel, Enoch, Noah, Moses, Abraham, David, Jesus: these were committeees, not individuals.
Yeah, right.
Modern History of a Puppet
Charles Taze Russell created the Jehovah sock-puppet in his own image. Russell sent the sock-puppet to Egypt to measure the Great Pyramid at Giza, and he had the mute puppet point at prophecies and dogma stolen from Wm. Miller, Second Adventists, and 19th century pop culture.
C.T.Russell wanted to leave the sock-puppet to his friends when he died but Judge Joseph Franklin Rutherford stole the sock-puppet (Russell was in heaven but accepted The Judge's treachery as part of God's plan), and Joe performed a total immersion baptism of the sock-puppet in Canadian Whiskey and remade the foul mouthed abusive little bastard in HIS image. Under Rutherford's direction, Fred Franz tried his hand at giving the sock-puppet a prophetic voice, which started out squeeky and poorly defined. Word is that the sock puppet show in San Diego, CA had to be seen to be believed: "Resurrection & Puppet Show" read the marquee.
Then the Judge died and left the sock-puppet to the dynamic duo of Rutherford's faithful acolytes, Nathan Knorr and Freddy Franz. Nathan washed out most of the alcohol residue and insanity but kept the cold efficient businesslike (and gay) mannerisms. Freddy, now unencumbered by The Judge (who was in heaven), fully developed the sock-puppet's voice, Fred discovered that the sock-puppet had a calendar fetish. SCHWING! Suddenly everything (everything!!) pointed to 1975.
Having spent so much time swimming in bullshit, Nathan Knorr's brain siezed upon the cancer exit strategy, and within "days or weeks, certainly not months or years" (actually it was two years) of 1975, Nathan checked out to go to his heavenly manse, leaving the whole show to Fred.
For seventeen years Fred tried to get the sock puppet to explain to him why the 1975 prophecy didn't come true. "I never said that - YOU said that" is all that the sock-puppet replied before refusing to speak further on the subject. Then Fred went to his de-luxe apartment in the sky.
Henshel was a cypher, Nobody knows what he did for seven years. Not much, you can bet. He was afraid of the sock-puppet as a result of a childhood trauma.
Today the sock-puppet sits locked in a box somewhere in a Bethel storage room. For a while the Governing Body tried to operate the sock-puppet, but the sock-puppet complained about having twelve arms up his ass. Don Adams has asked to just see the sock-puppet, just once, pretty please, but the Governing Body decided that since Mr. Don Adams is not anointed, he may not see the golden tablets sock-puppet.
Religion by committee!
Nice and bland, backpedal, backpedal, mainstream, mainstream!
"We never said THAT, and we're certainly not going to say THIS!"
Swear loyalty to the diaper brigade and all the things they teach, and all the things they DON'T teach.
Monitor those damned apostates - maybe we can steal some good ideas from them.
Oops! Ted had another accident!
NURSE!!
Edited by - Nathan Natas on 19 July 2002 13:58:33
Edited by - Nathan Natas on 19 July 2002 14:2:3
