KM- Disfellowshipped Relative 8/02

by WildTurkey 19 Replies latest jw friends

rosalyn

Without being disrespectful....I as hoping for a doggy bag with spicy chicken in it these coffee and tea things.
ROSALYN
William Penwell

Display Christian Loyalty when a Relative Is Disfellowshipped

1
The bond between family members can be very strong. This brings a test upon a Christian when a marriage mate, a child, a parent, or another close relative is disfellowshipped or has disassociated himself from the congregation. (Matt. 10:37) How should loyal Christians treat such a relative? Does it make a difference if the person lives in your household? First, let us review what the Bible says on this subject. the principles of which apply equally to those who are disfellowshipped and to those who disassociate themselves.
2 "Now to Treat Expelled Ones:
God's Word commands Christians not to keep company or fellowship with a person who has been expelled from the congregation: "Quit mixing in eompan,y with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person or an idolater or a re viler or a drunkard or an extortioner, not even eating with such a man.... Remove the wicked man from among yourselves." (1 Cor.5:11, 13) Jesus' words recorded at Matthew 18:17 also bear on the matter: "Let [the expelled one] be to you just as a man of the nations and as a tax collector." Jesus' hearers well knew that the Jews of that day had no fraternization with Gentiles and that they shunned tax collectors as outcasts. Jesus was thus instructing his followers not to associate with expelled ones.--See The Watchtower of September 15, 1981. pages 18-20.
3 This means that loyal Christians do not have spiritual fellowship with anyone who has been expelled from the congregation. But more is involved. God's Word states that we should 'not even eat with arch a man.' (1 Cor. 5:11) Hence, we also avoid social fellowship with an expelled person. 'this would rule out joining him in a picnic, party, or trip to the shops or theatre or sitting down to a meal with him either in the home or at a restaurant.
4 What about speaking with a disfellowshipped person? While the Bible does not cover every possible situation, 2 John 10 helps us to get Jehovah's view of matters: "If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, never receive him into your homes or say a greeting to him." Commenting on this, The Watchtower of September 15.1981, page 25, says: "A simple'Hello' to someone can be the first step that develops into a conversation and maybe even a friendship- Would we want to take that first step with a disfellowshiped person?"
5 Indeed, it is just as page 31 of the same issue of The Watchtower states: "The fact is that when a Christian gives himself over to sin and has to be disfellowshiped. he forfeits much: his approved standing with God; . . . sweet fellowship with the brothers, including much of the association he had with Christian relatives."
6

1n the Immediate Household: Does this mean that Christians living in the same household with a disfellowshipped family member are to avoid talking to, eating with, and associating with that one as they go about their daily activities? The Watchtower of April 15, 1991, in the footnote on page 22, states: - If in a Christian's household there is a disfellowshipped relative, that one would still be part of the normal, dayto-day household dealings and activities." Thus, it would be left to members of the family to decide on the extent to which the disfellowshipped family member would be included when eating or engaging in other household activities. And yet, they would not want to give brothers with whom they associate the impression that everything is the same as it was before the disfellowshipping occurred
7 However, Pie Walchtolrer of September 15, 1981, page 28, points out regarding the disfellowshipped or disassociated person: "Former spiritual ties have been completely severed. This is true even with respect to his relatives, including those within his immediate family circle.... That will mean changes in the spiritual fellowship that may have existed in the home. For example, if the husband is disfellowshiped, his wife and children will not be comfortable with him conducting a family Bible study or leading in Bible reading and prayer. It he wants to say a prayer, such as at mealtime. lie has a right to do so in his own home. But they can silently offer their own prayers to God. (Prov. 28:9; Ps. 119:145, 146) What if a disfellowshiped person in the home wants to be present when the family reads the Bible together or has a Bible study? The others might let him be present to listen if he will not try to teach them or share his religious ideas."
8 " If a minor child living in the home is disfellowshipped, Christian parents are still responsible for his upbringing. The Walchlou?er of November 15, 1988, page 20, states: "Just as they will continue to provide hitn with food, clothing, and shelter, they need to instruct and discipline him in line with God's Word. (Proverbs 6:20-22; 29:17) Loving parents may thus arrange to have a home Bible study with him, even if he is disfellowshipped. Maybe he will derive the most corrective benefit from their studying with him alone. Or they may decide that he can continue to share in the family study arrangement."-See also The Watchtower of October 1, 2001, pages 16-17.
9

Relatives Not in the Household: "The situation is different if the disfellowshipped or disassociated one is a relative living outside the immediate family circle and home," states The Watchtower of April 15, 1988, page 28. "It might be possible to have almost no contact at all with the relative. Even if there were some family mat ters requiring contact, this certainly would be kept to a minimum," in harmony with the divine injunction to "quit mixing in company with anyone" who is guilty of sinning unrepentantly. (1 Cor. 5:11) Loyal Christians should strive to avoid needless association with such a relative, even keeping business dealings to an absolute minitntun. See also The Wat ehtoirer of September 15, 1981, pages 29-30.
10

The Walchtower addresses another situation that can arise: "What if a close relative, such as a son or a parent who does not live in the home, is disfellowshiped and subsequently wants to move back there? The family could decide what to do depending on the situation. For example, a disfellowshiped parent may be sick or no longer able to care for himself financially or physically. The Christian children have a Scriptural and moral obligation to assist. (1 Tim. 5:8) ... What is done may depend on factors such as the parent's true needs, his attitude and the regard the head of the household has for the spiritual welfare of the household." The Watchtower of September 15, 1981, pages 28-9.
11" As for a child, the same article continues: "Sometimes Christian parents have accepted back into the home for a time a disfellowshiped child who has become ptnysically , or emotionally ill. But in each case the parents can weigh the individual circumstances. Has a disfellowshiped son Lived on his own, and is he now unable to do so? Or does he want to move back primarily because it would be an easier life'? What about his morals and attitude? Will he bring 'leaven' into the home?-Gal. 5:9.
12 "

Benefits of Being Loyal to Jehovah: Co operating with the Scriptural arrangement to disfellowship and shun unrepentant wrongdoers is beneficial. It preserves the cleanness of the congregation and distinguishes us as upholders of the Bible's high moral standards. (1 Pet. 1:1416) It protects us from corrupting intluences. (Gal. 5:7-9) It also affords the wrongdoer an opportunity to benefit fully from the discipline re ceived, which can help him to produce "peaceable fruit, namely, righteousness."- Heb. 12:11.
13 "After hearing a talk at a circuit assembly, a brother and his fleshly sister realized that they needed to make adjustments in the way they treated their mother, who lived elsewhere and who had been disfellowshipped for six years. Immediately after the assembly, the man called his mother. and after assuring her of their love, he explained that they could no longer talk to her unless there were important family matters requiring contact. Shortly thereafter. his mother began attending meetings and was eventually reinstated. Also. her unbelieving husband began studying and in time was baptized.
14 ' Loyally upholding the disfellowshipping arrangement outlined in the Scriptures demonstrates our love for Jehovah and provides an answer to the one that is taunting Him. (Prov. 27: 11) In turn, we can be assured of Jehovah's blessing. King David wrote regarding Jehovah: "As for his statutes, I shall not turn aside from them. With someone loyal you will act in loyalty."-2 Sam. 22:23, 26.
1. What situation can test a Christian's loyalty?
2. According to the Bible, how are Christians to treat those expelled from the congregation?
3, 4. What. sort of fellowship with disfellowshipped and disassociated people is forbidden?
5. When disfellowshipped, what does a person forfeit?
6. Is a Christian required to cut off all association with a disfellowshipped relative living in the same household? Fxplain.
7. How does spiritual fellowship within the home change when a family member is disfellowshipped?
8. What responsibility do Christian parents have toward a minor disfellowshipped child living in the home?
9. To what extent should a Christian have contact with a disfellowshipped relative living outside the home?
10, 11. What will a Christian consider before allowing a disfellowshipped relative to move into the home'?
12. What are some benefits of the disfellowshipping arrangement?
13. What actjustment did one family make, and with what result?
14. Why should we loyally support the disfellowshippin(( arrangement?
Jesus Christ

Hmmmmm, they tell all the media that former members aren't treated badly, they print this crap saying how they shouldn't even talk to their own family. That's it, I'm smiting them with a sex abuse scandal.
gwyneth

"After hearing a talk at a circuit assembly, a brother and his fleshly sister realized that they needed to make adjustments in the way they treated their mother, who lived elsewhere and who had been disfellowshipped for six years. Immediately after the assembly, the man called his mother. and after assuring her of their love, he explained that they could no longer talk to her unless there were important family matters requiring contact. Shortly thereafter. his mother began attending meetings and was eventually reinstated. Also. her unbelieving husband began studying and in time was baptized.
This is emotional blackmail, plain and simple.
minimus

What wonderful children, though. At least they called their only mom, just 1 more time, to say goodbye. And what was the result??? Momma is back,. YEAHHHHHHHHHH
deddaisy

" After hearing a talk at a circuit assembly, a brother and his fleshly sister realized that they needed to make adjustments in the way they treated their moth er , who lived elsewhere and who had been disfellowshipped for six years. Immediately after the assembly, the man called his mother. and after assuring her of their love, he explained that they could no longer talk to her unless there were important family matters requiring contact. Shortly thereafter his mother began attending meetings and was eventually reinstated. Also. her unbelieving husband began studying and in time was baptized.

Unfuckingbelievable that a religious organization takes credit for a child treating their mother in this manner. (this must have jumped out at all of us} After the enlightening "circuit assembly," they realized they needed to treat their mother even shittier than they had been.
strange they don't mention the flip side of treating loved ones as if they were vomit ....
when I reflect on the death of my father, I am so thankful that I was not a Jehovah's Witness. My father died very, very unexpectedly. When I happened into my mother's house, shortly after finding out, I found my brother, who was a Witness, sitting there on the floor sobbing. I had never seen my brother cry, and in an emotional state myself, began crying and went to comfort him. My father had been df'ed, reinstated, and eventually da'ed himself. He had previously been extremely close to his kids, but , according to WTS doctrine, was considered an apostate at the time of his death. My brother was heartbroken, repeating that he just could not believe his father was gone, and how he had refused to speak to him and how now he just wanted the chance.
teejay

It's clear.
The scriptures say that it's god's will that children, "Honor your father and your mother in order that your days may prove long upon the ground." Ex. 20; Deut 5
1500 years later, Jesus showed that due to the corruption of god's commands and the greater attention given to the traditions of men, those clear instructions were being circumvented and disobeyed. One is left to wonder what god thought about it.
It's pathetic that those "good" Witness kids would treat their df'd mother that way. It's also a shame that "good" Witness mothers and fathers see nothing wrong in treating their df'd children that way. Some of these even take a perverse pride in treating their children's children (innocent in the extreme) as piles of manure. All out of a sense of "love" of god.
Traditions and laws of men that supercede the laws of god. Makes me sick.
yrs2long

"For example, if the husband is disfellowshiped, his wife and children will not be comfortable with him conducting a family Bible study or leading in Bible reading and prayer."
Is this an example or a directive? What if they are comfortable with it? The society is telling the flock that they shouldn't be doing this.
Oh why didn't I see this stuff clearly before?
Also, this:
"After hearing a talk at a circuit assembly, a brother and his fleshly sister realized that they needed to make adjustments in the way they treated their mother, who lived elsewhere and who had been disfellowshipped for six years. Immediately after the assembly, the man called his mother. and after assuring her of their love, he explained that they could no longer talk to her unless there were important family matters requiring contact. Shortly thereafter his mother began attending meetings and was eventually reinstated.
Shouldn't 'love for jehovah' be the deciding factor for one's decision to come back? They are suggesting using this as a tool for getting the errant ones to return; the tool being, just as Gwyneth said, "emotional blackmail".
deddaisy

The others might let him be present to listen if he will not try to teach them or share his religious ideas."

what complete arrogant morons......they base their religion on sharing their religious ideas, but God forbid they listen to anyone elses......
the media, if they were to see this, would believe it was written in the dark ages...here you have the WTS dragging everyone into court in the name of freedom of speech and religion, but the JWs won't let a df'ed person discuss his religious beliefs! I mean come on, not allowed to discuss your religious beliefs, in 2002 !
the media needs a copy of this........
Dismembered

Must be the reason for this article is that da sheep are rebelling and not listening. They'll just have to get back in their pens. Bad bad sheep

KM- Disfellowshipped Relative 8/02

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