3 minutes and it was over....

by LyinEyes 17 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  LyinEyes

  This is just a side thought about us disassociating ourselves last nite, it took all of three minutes.

  35 years of my life being a JW, same for Wild, 11 yrs of him being an elder and it all came down to two men of the phone to finalize our departure.

  What I find strange about this, is that not once did they ask us to reconsider, or if we would think about it for a couple of days and then we could get back with them. They didnt ask for one more shepherding call, they didnt say goodbye, they didnt say we would be missed. They were so formal almost like robots with no feeling. Dont get me wrong I am glad it happened quickly and there were no emotions involved, but it is just sad that , they are so cold. If they truly wanted us to be saved from our sinful ways, wouldnt they want to try to reach our hearts? There was nothing of the kind in that short telephone call. I really thought it would have been different. I know others who got in trouble and they kept trying to help them, giving them weeks, to decide if they could give up what they were doing, etc. When my sister d/a herself , they went to her job, to her house, to try and talk her out of it. She was only a baptized JW for a year , and barely active at her best. But Denny did so much for that congregation and they so easily threw him away. I am more hurt at how they did him, Denny served shoulder to shoulder with these brothers, and where did that love go? It just blows my mind how they wanted us to just say the words , so they could be done with it. They didnt even want us to have second thoughts.

  For any of you who were d/f or d/a did the elders plead with you to try and stay in , or where they like the ones who delt with us?
• 

  Shutterbug

  LyinEyes,

  Your post makes me wonder if these Elders cared for you, or anyone else, in the first place. They are merely doing their jobs by "firing" anyone who does not toe the line. I've seen people fired from a business and there was more emotion shown than what you have described. It is really sad.
• 

  Francois

  I guess that's the only thing that ever impressed me the entire time I was a JW.

  The other day I related that I refused to meet with the elders as long as a certain elder was tolerated as an elder in the congregation. I related to the elders that called on me how this other elder had hurt me, as well as others.

  Later, after the elder in question had actually been removed from his position, I was obviously on my way out and the chairman of the JC considering my case impressed me with his genuine concern, his real desire to see me decide to give it one more shot, his patience as I continued to request that they jump through various hoops - namely every one I could think of.

  They knew, or at least he knew, that this elder, C.B. Mitchell, was a "skinner of sheep" and that he had indeed hurt many, many of the brothers and sisters with his cold judgementalism, his impossible goal setting, his perfidiousness, his venality, his utter lack of love. And while he was doing all this, he was drinking like a fish. On one occasion taking a carload of minor brothers, all under 16, to an Atlanta Braves game where he proceded to get sloshed and then drove these children home in that condition. Yes, C.B. was a real piece of work alright.

  So I guess the JC committee chairman had a case of the guilts over me and he really did try his best to get me to reconsider. And you know, I don't even remember his name. There are a few good eggs out there, as we all know. But what good is a good egg if the "rooster" is a worthless, lying, murderer by proxy, like the WTBTS?

  francois

  P.S. - It is not without good reason that I report that C.B. Mitchell is still dead.
• 

  Satanus

  The way they can turn off their 'love' is really something. I think that's what hurt, and continues to hurt for a long time.

  When they dfd me, they had already been having complaints about me questioning things for a yr. They pressured me to da myself. I refused. I think they were relieved, maybe a bit grieved, to see me go. All three elders who did me were my 'friends'. Not real close, but still, long time friends. One of them made a feeble attempt to address my doubts. By doing that, he had broken w the chairman, who stated that they weren't there to debate.

  SS
• 

  metatron

  This sounds like more evidence of reverse cleansing.

  Consider that it is YOU who expressing emotion here, not
  them! They are acting like the cold hearted robots that
  are assuming control of the Watchtower cult. You, are showing
  proper sadness and normal feelings about it.

  If you had to choose who was behaving like sociopaths
  who would it be? You or THEM?!

  metatron
• 

  Amazing

  Hi LyinEyes: IN the 1970s it was common and encouraged to plead with and work with JWs to stay in the organization ... but all that changed after 1981 when Ray Franz was DF'd ... there are several things contributing to how the Elders act today:

  1. The "cold" attitude is based on a scripture about letting their faces be cold and hard like diamonds. Not to feel sorry for DF and DA JW.

  2. They view today as the very end of the last days, more like the last hours, and hence JWs now leaving the organization are making cold-hearted choices to leave Jehovah and deliberately serve the Devil ... no more begging and pleading to get them to stay.

  3. These very last days are a sifting period with the rise of Apostasy, fulfilling prophecy ... so the Elders simply hunt people down who are not at meetings and any hint of not being in full agreement is taken as the signal they are thinking like apostates ... and off with their heads, so to speak.

  4. Since I left in 1992, this has become more the case because the Society now views the Internet as the big tool of the enemy which threatens their publishing power and control over the JWs ... apostates are now speaking out and possibly organized to persecute the organization.

  5. If Jws are chosing to leave now, their hearts may never have been right in the first place, thus demonstrating that they are not, nor ever were real JWs in Jehovah's eyes.

  There are past Watchtower articles that support the ideas noted above. I suspect that when the Society and their Elders get done they won't have much of an organization left to worry about. I hope, I hope, I hope ...
• 

  ISP

  I know what you mean. After 20 years or so in the truth I was surprised how few people were bothered to ring.

  ISP
• 

  bay64me

  I havnt been d/f or d/ad myself yet, but the cold and uncaring way in which you and your husband have been treated does not surprise me one bit. I know of many people that have given 101% to the org, (myself included) and the moment that percentage drops beyond what they expect of you, you are basically on your own.

  I can only imagine the relief that you are now feeling, now that it's finally over. But I can understand the sadness you feel too, at must what feel like a huge waste of energy, time and effort that has seemingly gone unnoticed.

  My thoughts on this is that they were simply 'doing their job' or going through the motions and as we well know, the indoctrination process of becoming and being a jw, simply does not incorparate common curtesy, compassion or understanding of anybody that does things a different way.

  I think I know where you are coming from and I'm sure many others here do too. But what the f--- Xmas is only a couple of months away. E N J O Y !
• 

  Incense_and_Peppermints

  They were so formal almost like robots with no feeling

  ooh. i have seen a lot of people use this term for them, myself included. spooky, isn't it?

  you asked where did that love go? if it was real, it wouldn't have evaporated just like that. it's all a lie. all an illusion. all of it. smiling robots skittering through their bleak little lives. i'm glad you got out, and your family got out. so, so glad...
• 

  expatbrit

  Amazing nailed it I think:

  3. These very last days are a sifting period with the rise of Apostasy, fulfilling prophecy ... so the Elders simply hunt people down who are not at meetings and any hint of not being in full agreement is taken as the signal they are thinking like apostates ... and off with their heads, so to speak.

  The factor in their decision whether or not to try and reason with you to stay is apostacy.

  If they think you are just an ordinary fornicator etc they will figure there is a good chance of pulling you back in. If, on the other hand, they catch a merest wiap of "apostate" thinking, they flip into damage-control mode, with the objective of getting you out as fast and cleanly as possible before you talk to others.

  Expatbrit