Confused

by AlphaPlus 28 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Nathan Natas

  Here's an idea: join the millitary! Unless you are woefully out of shape or disabled, that solves the relocation problem and given your apparent IQ you might be able to find a pretty nice non-grunt position for yourself after testiing. It may even be possible that your business contacts could help you get well-placed.

  If I were in your situation I would think about it.

  Out of the house

  zero relocation costs (OK, maybe a bus ticket)

  see the world

  become all you can be

  like anything very different it will be scary and will require some major 'nads.

  Got 'nads?

  Edited by - Nathan Natas on 29 July 2002 3:20:27
• 

  Fe2O3Girl

  Hello Alpha

  I certainly empathise with your situation. The advice already given to take things very slowly, and gradually fade is very sound. And - DO NOT yield to pressure to get baptised!! In my congregation, the kids that had a mini rebellion in their mid teens, stopped going to meetings, and never got baptised, were always warmly greeted at the odd meetings they came to. So it didn't matter if you had a baby at 15yrs old, provided you never got dunked. I on the other hand was a good little dub, regular at meetings and field service, baptised at 15. I knew how to make my parents happy! And I married another good JW publisher when I was 19, and was miserable for the next 4 years. I finally left him, and was DF'd, so now I am shunned. So I might as well have been "immoral" in my teens, I would have a much better standing in the congregation now!! I digress......

  Do you have any contact with your mum or dad? Is it possible to get in touch with them? Are they still free from the Watchtower? Could they be a lifeline for you?

  All the best to you, Alpha. Hang in there.
• 

  Prisca

  Hi Alpha,

  I live in Sydney, and there are some others also on this board who are from Australia.

  You've been given excellent advice, although ultimately it's your decision to make, as it's you who will have to accept the consequences of your actions.

  There is a woman who lives in Brisbane who was once a JW and is used to helping people out of the WTS, her name is Jan Groenveld. She occasionally posts on this board, but I would recommend you contacting her to talk about your questions and fears.

  [email protected] or [email protected]

  telephone: (07) 3216 8514 (the numer listed on her website)

  Web site: http://caic.org.au/zhome.htm

  Feel free to email me too if you want to.
• 

  LittleToe

  Prisca's advice to speak to someone, may be of great benefit to you. Human contact is a real help. This board is also a good support, but it has it's limitations in that area.

  Searchers advice to make new friends, and ISP's to plough more time into the business, whilst fading from a few meetings, is also good.

  You have too distinct advantages, that many of us never had. You have youth on your side, and you never got baptised. Well done, in losing the blinkers before you had too many regrets.

  You've already got more support than you can know. Keep us posted with how you get on.

  Facial Hair Poll: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=33229&site=3&page=1
• 

  AlphaPlus

  Nathan that's actually a really good idea. I gave up a university scholarship because it was too worldy to go to uni *shakes head* what a stupid decision that was ... but the army offers some great stuff i'll look into it thanks!

  As for everyone else well thanks your posts have been helpful and ya emails too :) I think more then anything i've realised there is a life after jws ... encouraging
• 

  nita6368

  My best to you Alpha, you are not much older than my son and I hate to see the bonds the borg has on young people. The right solution will come, you have headed in the right direction coming here, many wise souls inhabit this board. Good Luck to You!!
• 

  Scarlet

  It is so hard to leave all your friends but you will make new friends. Go to college live your life. You will meet new friends. Better friends, friends that don't judge you because of your haircut.
• 

  Dia

  You're very young. I would suggest that you not burn your bridges behind you right now. You can probably manage to 'stall' them by telling them you just want to be more sure before you do anything (like get baptized). Don't get baptized to appease them! It will make your life a lot worse in the long run.

  Then, use this time to really try to build up some supportive friendships around you.

  I don't know how this would work, but I'd also suggest that - if you have the time and money - you do some really nice things for them right now. Take them out to eat or go to the zoo or something. Give them something to miss and think twice about when the time comes for them to consider abandoning you.

  You shouldn't be the only one to suffer in the future. Not that they would ever admit it, of course. And you could make some nice memories for yourself.

  But get prepared for that possibility now.

  And no matter what you do, we're here for you.
• 

  In_between_days

  Hi alpha, I am too from Australia, where abouts are you from? My heart goes out to you in this situation, the exact same situation I went through a year ago, this was probably the biggest thing that has ever happened to me and I still find it hard to get through the shock and rage when I really found out the "truth". I found reading alot of books on the healing process after you come out from a cult really helps, because when you are first doubting the org, you are still wary of so called "apostate" books, after being indocrinated all your life as too how these books will lie to you. There are several books on cults, and they are unbiased, you will find some links if you do a search on "Cults" on this site.

  I was never baptised either, and count yourself VERY lucky that you were not. You can fade away gradually without being shunned by your family. If I could do it all again, I would have done this, instead of denouncing the org with anger like I did. Now my family are very wary of talking about anything Wt related, and I am starting to wonder whether I will be shunned anyway.

  Sounds like you've got it tough at home, this though I was kind of impressed with:

  They continually pushed me to do better in school and be really smart

  I wished my parents encouraged my studies, you are very lucky, this is rare from JW's. I was discouraged to go to uni and lucky to even be allowed to finish high school, even though I was smart, now I wish I had of gone to uni and i'd have my degree by now. Now I have to start all over.

  The best advise I can offer is what everyone else has already said: Take it slow. You can get through this.