Spicey:
My Friend, I would go .. ( although I would have to bite my tounge in half ). I would give my condolences to the family. Share warm memories with them. Remember the good in that person and not worry about the Borg.
Xandria
Should I go??????
by SpiceItUp 26 Replies latest jw friends
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The Alchemist
Sorry to hear abot your friend. Some people are just special souls. 4 years ago my father passed away over the blood issue. He could not be on blood thinning medication and as a result he got a clot in his heart and died. I went to the Kingdom Hall funeral. There was his portrait and a collage of smaller photos some while in uniform. I made an issue a few days before the talk that I expected to hear something about Dad. And about half of the one hour service was about his life; where he was born and grew up, his interests as a child, His time in the military and how he met Mom. Then came how he got the truth, his being a loyal (and boy was he) elder and serving Jehovah right up to and during his deathbed. (He had all the elders come while he wrote little notes describing where all the finacial records were kept of all the kingdom hall builds etc. And he did all this while having resperator tubes down his throat.) There was no mention to the cause of his heart attack, that may stumble the new ones. Finally the preaching began and it was very clever "This is what (Dad) believed", "This is (Dad's)" hope" etc. etc. After it was over my Mother's best friend came up to me and said "I am sure you will see your Dad in the resurection" I didn't know what to say! In a JW new earth? I mumbeled something "That it is good that Dad is not suffering anymore." Well this hard of hearing sister went to my mother and said she thinks that I doubt that my Father will be resurected. I have tried to straighten this out but it's the opinion of a loyal JW against mine. So Spice try to be prepared for anything.
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Robdar
Hi Spice,
Yes, you should go to the funeral. No matter how much the Witnesses preach, this funeral is still about your friend. Tell this lady good bye. Thank her for her companionship. I am sure that she will appreciate it. You will be glad that you did.
My condolences to you.
Robyn
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HappyHeathen
Spice,
One option is to go to the viewing instead (if there is one). I used to think that the viewing was set up purely for the family members but discovered that lots of people attend them even for friends or acquaintances. You could bring her a flower or something for her casket and say your goodbyes there.
Everyone is so correct about J.W. funerals being cold and impersonal -- I never attended one that wasn't that way, myself. But then what else would you expect from a religion that denies its members the chance to ever feel special. It's just as mean-spirited as denying birthday celebrations or anything else that singles a person out for some attention.
Whatever you decide to do, Spice, hold your head up because you are right and they are wrong. Don't forget that.
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SpiceItUp
Thank you for all the support and responses I got on this.
It was a difficult decision but in the end I did go.
The major reasons I went is because I knew which Elder was giving the "talk", I knew that her children were not JW's, and she was my friend no matter what I believed.
I dressed tastefully in a pant outfit. I wanted to make sure that all family members and everyone else knew that while I missed her I wwas not going to give in to their "womans" dress code. I also did not want to be recognized as one of them.
I have to say, since this is my 3rd funeral in the last year, that this one was by far the best (and I highly believe that it was because her family is not JW-kudos to them). Even though the speaker gave a talk that included many bible quotes...he also filled it with many memories of her. That was another thing that I just realized about all their funerals...they never give eulogies..its always "talks". Anyone know why that is the case? This one also did not include any songs and only had a closing prayer (thank goodness). After the prayer the speaker did something totally dub-like and offered those that wanted to learn more about the religion to feel free to pick up their tract "What happens to dead loved ones" or to talk to any member present. That part totally disgusted me.
All in all it was not a bad experience. Noone tried to invite me back or preach to me although a few said it was nice to see me. I guess that could have been taken either eway.
I am glad I went. I would have regretted not going and I know I gave an example that even though we didnt have the same beliefs I would still show my friendship by mourning her loss.
Carol ......who is now trying not to cry even though it would be the best thing to do.
Thanks again guys-----I will really miss this great woman.....a woman who never ever belittled me or preached to me but always welcomed me in her home with a warm smile and hug. To Jenny.
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Reborn2002
Sit there at a JW funeral among people who won't speak to me and listen to an infomercial? Not in this lifetime.
I believe that is the most accurate depiction of a Jehovah's Witness funeral that I have ever read.
Francois, you feel the exact same way I do about JW gatherings.
Spice-
Follow your heart. Do not allow their RIDICULOUS and SICKENING practices to influence you one way or the other.
You should NOT give a flying FUCK what ANY Jehovah's Witless thinks.
If it soothes your pain and aids you in coping.. by all means GO. You would not want to look back on this experience in later years and say I would, could, or should have attended.
On the flip side of the coin, much like Incense stated, if you do not wish to take part in their cold-hearted infomercial about the religion given to captivate worldly attendees at the expense of any honorable eulogy of the deceased, then avoid the funeral at all costs.
The choice is only yours to make. Make it for yourself.
Edited by - Reborn2002 on 31 July 2002 22:22:38
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COMF
It's not about you. It's not about Jehovah's Witnesses. It's not about the people who will attend. It's about the woman who died.
If you respect her, and if you will feel good about yourself by showing that respect outwardly, then go. Nothing else matters.