by Pistoff 26 Replies latest watchtower medical
Putting up my hand and saying "Me too"
My short version (long version is posted in my story)
Abused as a child before my mother joined the JWs.
Abused while a child and JW
Abused while a wife of elder in JW.
Severely depressed ans suicidal.
Committed adultery which turned into a rape to get away from my abusive husband/elder
Was DFed and given no support to make sure that no one found out that an elder in the cong was abusing his wife and 2 kids.
Hi (((flower))) good to see you hon
I sure feel for all of you who have posted your situation in such an honest form. Being depressed to the clinical stage is a very strong mental disorder and not one to be treated lightly. It is a genuine disorder and not an indication of weakness or any of the other silly phrases ued to discredit a person. In my case I sought medical and cognitive therapy. It helped a little in a very short time, but getting out of the depression took some time. I was told that it took some time to get this way and it would also take time to get over it.
I would like to offer encouragement to those with this struggle. Medicaton is a must. Several types may be tried to find one that fits you. Some people have found that St Johns Wart, an herb to be helpful in this situation. But I think a psychiatrist or md.is advisable. This will bring the quick fix to enable you to work on the problem. For me making some unquestionable rules was helpful. Such as suicide is just not an option. Ignoring the unhelpful people and their nonsense. Learn to respect myself and to put MYSELF FIRST in many ways. Without demeaning others. If I don't take care of myself how can I be of help to others? If I am dead how can I be of help to my children. I am a good person and I deserve respect and love from others and MYSELF. I will accept others compliments without such a reply as "ah it's nothing" Accept it and acknowledge with a thank you.
All of these kinds of conduct are discouraged by the teachings of the wbts either outright or in more subtle ways. So they will feel foreign and self agrandizing to us at first. When in fact they are the normal.
All of this can be taught to us, but WE have to do the work. It is not easy but it is not that hard either.
The main thing I want to express is that all is not lost-never- that things can and will get better. A pleasant and contented life can be had. It is all do able and will work. Many have been there before you and succeded. They were not any more capeable than you. Just do the work.
flower, please email me,ok?
God loves you and so do I.
You did not deserve the treatment you got.
Long story short.
After months of heavy drinking and medicating myself, I admitted myself in the hospital. Only to find out that I didn't have a substance abuse problem, I was suffering from depression. I found out that I was bipolar also. I was trying to deal with my father's suicide and my termially ill mother. It all got to be too much for me and I knew I needed help. When the elders caught wind of this, they insisted that I have a elder's meeting with them. My brother in law, Dave, also told on me for sending a Holiday Christmas card to one of my sisters. I was under doctor's orders not to put myself in a stressful situation at that time. Anyone that has been before a judicial meeting, will tell you that it can be very stressful, to say the least! After months and months of my husband and I explaining that we didn't want to meet with them, that I was taking control of my life, doing better, but didn't want to meet with them, they STILL insisted that I meet with them. I finally recieved a call from one of the elders that just couldn't understand how I could go recieve worldy help, but wouldn't come to the org. for help. Being in the state of mind that I was in at the time, I broke down and said that if that's what it took to be a witness, then I couldn't do it. His reply was. *You mean that you don't want to be a witness!!!* I couldn't take anymore and in my moment of weakness and not thinking clearly, I said no, I can't do it. They later called back and told my husband that if we didn't show up for a elder's meeting that they would assume therefore that we were disassociating ourselves. The following Thursday night meeting, they made the announcement. Needless to say, it effected my relationship with my j.w. mother and j.w siblins. My mother died shortly after fearing that she would never see me again, even cryed to me that the only thing that she worried about, wasn't having cancer or dying, but was never seeing all her children in the new system.
The rumor that spread was that my husband and I sent a letter of dissasociation, which we did not do. It was a down right lie. The org. wants it's follower's to believe they are about love and family happiness, but in reality, is based upon control and fear.
It should be a crime what the org. is doing to people and their families. The elders are given the power to deal with situations that they really have no special training and no business doing. No wonder the suicide rate amoung people in the org. is highing than any other people in the world. My sister'in-law's twin brother took his life several months ago. He was living a double life and for what reason he decided to take his life, we'll never know, but you can't tell me that the possiblity of losing his j.w. family had a factor on his decision. I know that it was a factor in my dad's suicide and no one will ever tell me or make me believe any different.
I believe with all my heart that the elders did what they did to my husband and I because I went to the world for help and didn't go to them for help. The whole ego, power trip, mind control bullcrap. You know what I'm talking about!
All this occured in 1999. Now I have very little contact, if any, with my j.w. siblins. It has also effected my relationship with other siblins because, even though they don't live as a j.w. , they still feel loyal to the org. and their teachings....and our mother. I have found many time's, that while talking to different one's in my family about the org. I have been quickly shot down and cut off with a different topic of converstion. The last thing that a person wants to be is idenified with is being a apostate or thinking like one!!! *shaking head*
My hubby and I are now just trying to find alittle peace and quite in our life, but sometimes I find it very hard to withhold my feelings that I have towards this terrible cult that claims to be directed by the Holy Spirit.
Edited by - Tinkerbell4125 on 11 August 2002 15:0:35
Edited by - Tinkerbell4125 on 11 August 2002 15:2:5
Edited by - Tinkerbell4125 on 11 August 2002 15:5:37
Scully:
You must have been in one of the most ignorant congregations on this continent. I've experienced a few with such attitudes but to have met so many ignorant individuals in one life time is amazing. It's so sad they have no concept of love at all.
The org.'s love is based on limits. It's conditional, not unconditional. I always felt that my mother's love for me was based upon where I stood in the org.
That's not the kind of love that we should have for other's. especially family.
I feel that someone is going to pay a high price someday for what they have done and continue to do to people and their families in the name of God and truth.
It is both comforting and disturbing to see a post of this nature on the board. It is comforting because I can genuinely relate to what all of you have shared and disturbing because so MANY have suffered because of the WTBTS lack of concern for mentally ill individuals.
A point Id like to mention on this post is that I can't help but think that the WTBTS takes ADVANTAGE of emotional instability to draw people into worshipping with them.
I suffered from severe mental illness before ever associating myself with Jehovah's Witnesses and, once I started studying and attending meetings, one of their favorite things to promise me was that having Jehovah in my life would alleviate the numerous emotional problems I was struggling with (OCD, bipolar disorder, PTSD...). For a while, things improved. Who wouldn't feel better while being smothered with seemingly genuine affection? But soon enough (once I saw through the faade of "brotherly love") my condition deteriorated.
It got to the point where the very thought of going to the Kingdom Hall filled me with anxiety. I had put so much effort into "proving" my love for Jehovah and trying to make a place for myself in a very exclusive congregation (almost everyone was related somehow or had known each other for years, so they weren't very welcoming to newcomers) that I couldn't handle seeing flaws in this "perfect" organization. Eventually, I was hospitalized. All the while, how many elders looked into my situation? Not one. How many pioneers came to visit a "young sheep" in her time of need? Not one. Only one loving sister from my congregation reached out to me, and she happened to be in the same situation that I was--ostracized for being mentally ill.
Although this was one of the most painful experiences of my life, it helped me to see the true nature of the organization. They were all so enamored with me when I was their poster child for recovery through dedication to Jehovah but, as soon as I needed their support, they threw me away with all of the other disillusioned brothers and sisters in the congregation.
Has anyone else noticed that the WTBTS seems to reach out to mentally ill people with promises of a new life through Jehovah?
Edited by - OrbitingTheSun on 11 August 2002 15:35:48
