What pisses you off about elders wives?

by bay64me 43 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Xandria

  I am mixed when it comes to the wives of elders. I have met a few that, if it rained they would drown from the way they have their nose in the air. But, I have also met some wives of elders that would roll up their sleeves and got on the floor w/ you to scrub.

  I seen so many different sides to this. What saddens me, is that many wives did not want to be "Elder's" wives. They personally where not asked about what they wanted. Many were forced into that role of subservant wife. An sadly many cave to the peer pressure to be either snobs or they feel so "guilt" ridden because of their position.. they go over board and become so selfless that it hurts them. They already had a heart, but the pressure and guilt of it all is sometimes too much.

  In this situation women don't have much of a "choice" because they either are totally dependant on the man for everything, or they are totally brainwashed into thinking that the man is the end all and be all.. of their exhistance. Many are fearful of having a choice b/c they are conditioned to believe otherwise... or beaten down mentally, emotionally, and even physcially.

  It is a total unbalanced view point that many have. There are so much better things to do with your time than worry that your house is not a show piece, that your children are robots and place unreal pressures on them. Then not give them the love they need to grow into healthy minded adults. One thing we all realize ( I think) is that just because the bible refers to women as the weaker vessel.. it did not mean that we were weak, mentally, emotionally.

  But to a point physcially ( I say to a point physcially...b/c I would personally like to see a man give birth. They seem to think it a tylenol situation. The other is, women can tolerate cold better then men.. we have more body fat so we have more of a endurance.) Each sex has its strengths and weaknesses. But just because the bible stated the weaker sex.. issue it did not mean we were inferior, or to be mis-used, abused and discarded in many cases. That is where things are unbalanced. Anything in life is a give and take. We are just beginning to regain our balance.

  Many of us have become ... strong and so against the things we grew up with.. because we see first hand the damage it does. It is a sad cycle.. and I am glad to see many of us standing up to break out of it.

  Xandria
• 

  SYN

  This is a really great thread, and it's definitely true that Elderettes are really just people, too. However, it seems, judging from the stories here, that the behaviour of many Elderettes is distorted by their being the wife of an Elder. Perhaps it puts them up on a pedastle (SP?) they'd rather not be on.

  One really great Elderette I knew in my old Hall was a Scottish Sister (and her husband was also from Scotland), and they were both great people, but it was clearly apparent who wore the pants in their relationship

  Strangely enough, this was actually a good thing, because this Elderette was one of the nicest, most caring people I ever knew, and so was her husband. He always made headship jokes around her, and then she would chat idly about smacking him when they got home. They were great fun!

  Another thing that was really nice about this specific Elderette was that she was always there for you, and ready to listen. She may in fact have been one of the most outstanding people I've ever known.

  So, that's just one case study, and, like Waiting, I have to say, don't lump them all into one group. Some are good, some are bad. The focus of this thread seems to be on the naughty ones, however, so let it rip!
• 

  plmkrzy

  syn

  Perhaps it puts them up on a pedastle (SP?) they'd rather not be on.

  That is so very true in a lot of cases. It goes against the attitude there suppose to be preaching in the first place. Makes no sense at all and it puts up automatic walls between people who just want to be people and not be put in some plastic spot light.

  Then again I have certainly known a lot of plastic sisters who craved that plastic spotlight. And god forbid they don't get it. Talk about noses high up in the air, like Turkeys!

  All in all it still boils down to stupid.

  When someone is thrust into a position like that, they have to all of the sudden be "on guard" because everyone is watching and waiting for a wrong move so they can pounce. The walls go up and it takes effort from BOTH sides to keep that from happening.

  The WTS gives elders wives credit for poop and thats about it. They are expected to set and example in the congergation of what a submissive wifes role is and those who don't want to be submissive catch a lot of s**t. While everyone else gets to watch.

  There is hostility on both sides a lot of times, not just one.O-
• 

  zenpunk

  Where to begin...once I confided some personal information to an elder's wife. The following week another sister asked me about the issue. When I asked where she heard this, she said, "Oh, P^&*()^ told me like a good elder's wife should". I went ballistic, but, as usual the whole thing was made to be my fault somehow.