It came today, the dreaded envelope containing my personal copy of "Return To Jehovah" from my elderly, desperate mother. It included a small note asking me to read it over and to let her know what I think. She got it at her assembly.
Firstly, I'm angry that she continues to push her religion on me, given that I stopped attending meetings over thirty years ago, and very offended that she assumes that I still want to be a Witness, which is HER choice of religion, not mine. I've shared with her how close my relationship is with Jesus, which I never had before, and that I hope to go to heaven. She ignores anything I have to say, and goes back to "you need to come back to meetings, you'll see how wonderful the Paradise earth will be." I said I want to be with Jesus in heaven-
I'm stressed. What do I do next? To me, it seems like I can either:
A) Ignore the envelope, like so many others before it, and act like nothing happened. Then she keeps sending me more.
B) Kindly tell her to respect that I'm an adult woman and I've got my own beliefs, have a heavenly hope, how miserable I was at the meetings, to the point of panic attacks and anorexia, and there's not a snowball's chance I want to go through that again, how they've become like Pharisees, adding to the things written, doctrinal flip flops, the blasphemous Gibbering Blobby and how I believe Jesus wouldn't even recognize them as his followers. If Jehovah's blessing ever was with them, I believe he's removed it. I could go on and on about the back stabbing, politics and malicious gossip I saw as a child in the congregations. If I take this route, I will stand up for myself and force her to see me as an adult in her mid-50's. I'd probably lose my mom forever too, as she might shun me. She's quite elderly and I'm her only fleshly child. My husband suggested returning the envelope back to her. This would break her heart and she's in poor health. I don't want to kill my mother.
Can anyone see something I can't, since I'm flustered, as to how to get her to quit mailing piles of JW materials, without tipping her off and getting shunned? In spite of my bitterness at how I was raised, I do care about her and feel a responsibility towards her; she's a little old widow lady now.
If I ignore her stuff, will she be told to cut off ties with me? Is this it?
PS, could someone please tell me how to reply to posts? I want to reply sometimes, but couldn't figure out how.
Many thanks!