by Reborn2002 65 Replies latest jw friends
I left the JWs in 1997 and was DF'd in 2000 for associating with a DF'd person.
My JW family refuses to shun me. In fact, other than my parents, I don't think any of them know I am DF'd.
I have made a ton of close friends since I quit the JWs, so I have been fortunate. It breaks my heart to read these stories. The new KM notwithstanding, I hold out hope that some day, somehow, the WTS will loosen up and realize that 99% of JWs hate the shunning rule and will eventually end the madness.
Hey Reborn, I'm with you on that.
Well, they always shun me but I'm writing more about this guy I know in this post. He's been DA'd for a while now. Parents live a few blocks away, sister isn't that much further away (maybe a mile or two tops). Parents will buy stuff everyone in a while for grandson but won't come in past the front door (except a few years ago they came into the living room, oddly enough didn't say a word about the big huge christmas tree or loads of presents). Then again, never was real close to them. Most of the time while growing up parents only had enough attention to yell about going out with all those really nice and normal "worldly" girls because they were too busy dealing with sister's problems with her drunken/abusive MS husband. Can't even remember last time sister was over and she only calls when she needs something. Former friends? They will very awkwardly talk when seen out in public but that's it. Then again, its kind of hard to act like you don't see someone when they come up and start talking to you which is always fun.
Fuck the JW's.
Add me to the list of the SHUNNED!
A JW "sister" who got married in my house 20 years ago refuses to talk to me--she even called me up just to tell me that a couple of years ago. Another time, I had a "sister" turn and run away from me in a store. I was so shocked by her bizarre behavior, it didn't register was happening until she was out of sight.
I didn't have any contact with my MS son for three years. He would not return my emails or calls, and I eventually stopped trying to contact him. Oh, until last month when I told his sister (she's out, too) that I had a used refrigerator, washer and dryer he could have for his new house. He was surprised I would offer them to him, and he had no problem coming to get them. He was his pleasant "old" self for the short time I saw him. I then entertained the hope that perhaps the wall he had erected might erode. Perhaps an act of kindness on my part might heap firey coals on his head, and he might feel ashamed of his behavior. However, with this new KM, I expect the wall to be firmly reinforced. BTW, I am not DF'd or DA'd. Just gone.
Last year I was in the hospital for what was anticipated to be cancer surgery. Fortunately, the doctors were wrong and there was no cancer. My son knew of the diagnosis, but didn't even call me, much less visit me. My wonderful "worldly" friends sent mountains of flowers and gifts. My room was a virtual greenhouse! I was overwhelmed by the kindness of these friends.
You gotta love this cult and what it does to families. Oh, that's right, Jesus came to put a SWORD between familiy members, so it must be okay...
I left the WTBTS in October 2000, and separated from my JW husband in July 01. haven't been DA'd or DF'd (can't think why, i haven't exactly been keeping a low profile!).
I have been shunned by JWs in the street, JW neighbours won't even look at me (these neighbours of mine are just like the Flanders family from the Simpsons!!)
My JW (soon to be ex)mother-in-law saw me and my four year old in a supermarket the other week. (Soon to be ex)Mother in law saw us, turned the shopping trolley around, and walked quickly in the other direction, dragging my (soon to be ex) father in law in tow. I had to laugh, they are elderly , my father in law uses a stick, it got all caught up in the trolley and caused confusion because he hadn't got a clue what she was up to and why they were suddenly turning round!!!
But it made my daughter cry and say "There is my nanny". She couldn't understand why her nanny wouldn't want to talk to her. Don't worry folks - I explained it to her as best I could.
To make a child cry just to comply with the JW shunning rules is TOTALLY UNFORGIVEABLE.
But then my (soon to be ex) mother in law isn't a nice individual anyway - fully of duty towards family, but no real feeling of love for them. The JW organisation suits her down to the ground.
Nowfree
I am so sorry for the pain that all of you have had to endure over a lie. Add me to the list by the way.
Like Erin my daughter and son-in-law CAN bend the rules when it helps THEM. I think they had been contemplating shunning me, but as they were using my late model car and had been for a year, it was not the right time. Then his mom sold them a nice car cheap and BAM it was time. Of course I am sure this was all coincidence, as it was a strictly spititual decision. They had just bought a new house and we had given them a $600.00 dryer which their conscience allowed them keep also though I hadn't paid for it yet, it was still ok for me to do that. My son was in Connecticut and we were on vacation but he was flying down and we were coming in early to have a meal in our home in Florida on Saturday, when we came in Friday night, my little girl had been there and slipped three cards under the door. I knew what was going down when I saw the car they'd had for a year in my driveway. One note was to my wife saying THEIR relationship wouldn't change, they would stay CLOSE through phone calls and the internet. One note was to my son, her brother saying that there were problems between her and old Dad, spiritual problems. The other note was to me and had the car keys in it. It had a big Thank You for the car and a typewritten letter starting "Dad,..." no Dear Dad none of that, this was a business letter from a WatchTower rep. it seems. Couldn't face us and tell us. Anyway, a bunch of lies and bullshit followed, streams of the verses twisted, misapplied and used by this cult to justify the un-natural deeds they do. Here is how it ended.
This is how my daughter ended her letter:
"In summary, this research has motivated me to make a change in our relationship. My preferred comapnanionship is with those who build up......Although this discipline for me is very hard, I feel in the depths of my heart that it is the right thing to do in Jehovah's eyes. I hope this will benefit you somehow.
I ask that you recognize these perimeters that are scriptural:
9 Everyone that pushes ahead and does not remain in the teaching of the Christ does not have God. He that does remain in this teaching is the one that has both the Father and the Son. 10 If anyone comes to YOU and does not bring this teaching, never receive him into YOUR homes or say a greeting to him. 11 For he that says a greeting to him is a sharer in his wicked works.
1 Cor. 5:6
"....a little leaven ferments the whole lump."
Love,
I was stunned, heartbroken, I can't describe the pain I felt or the anger. I wouldn't accept it. My wife called her that night and told her off then cried half the night, I could only get her answering machine. So the next day I called at work. Whoever picked up the phone called her and said, ".... It's your daddy on the phone." My little girl came on and talked normally. I apologized for calling at work said we didn't have to talk about religion, she had brought it up after all, lets just drop it, everything seemed fine, she said ok and seemed normal in tone and everything. Then when I called again at her home she picked up and told me nothing had changed, she'd "HAD" to talk that way because she was at work. Wow. This post is too long already but that has been three years ago this August. It seems far longer.
One of the things that irks me is the way they use the very verses that condemn them to justify the awful and unchristian things they do, the inhuman things they do.
THEY are the ones who have twisted and left the teachings of Christ. Saying he isn't the mediator for everyone, that only a few should partake, that only the Annointed are really brothers of Christ. All lies.
THEY teach a gospel other than the one taught by the apostles.
Galatians chapt. 1:7 But it is not another; only there are certain ones who are causing YOU trouble and wanting to pervert the good news about the Christ. 8 However, even if we or an angel out of heaven were to declare to YOU as good news something beyond what we declared to YOU as good news, let him be accursed. 9 As we have said above, I also now say again, Whoever it is that is declaring to YOU as good news something beyond what YOU accepted, let him be accursed.
With all the crap they've added and subtracted this fits them to a tee.
Grunt
((((((((((HUGS))))))) TO ALL WHO HAVE BEEN SHUNNED / I HAVE RELATIVES THAT ARE JWs BUT I COULD CARE LESS WETHER THEY SHUNN ME OR NOT...I WEAR A CRUSIFIX IN PUBLIC FOR ALL TO SEE EVEN THE JWs THAT HAVE KNOWN US IN THE PAST..I AM APOSTATE SOOOOO THERE..A HEATHENISTIC APOSTATE AS A MATTER OF FACT--so be it !!! LISA / LINDA and Mamie kitty might turn them into a toad frog or cast a spell on them -- you never know what a witch might do to any of them...QUEENIE
I have been both a shunner and am now a shunnee so I know what it's like from both sides.
Shunning someone close is very hard and I now feel incredibly guilty and ashamed and also angry for the years it means we lost.
Being shunned is also difficult but in a different way - it really depends on the situation. In my case I have my own family (wife and kids) which makes it easier but if I was on my own it would be a lot harder.
I'm not Df'd or DA'd but I may as well be!!!!! No contacts are made from my old Hall where I was for 15 yrs or so.
ISP
Well,I guess I'll jump in and say ME TOO!!!
Although I'm not df or da'd.
neyank
