hi, I'm incense's son...need help

by recneps 31 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  SYN

  The Witnesses are dangerous. RUN!

  Unfortunately, there is only one way to find out what Witnesses are truly like.

  You don't want this.

  See if you can convince this girl to leave, but it's HIGHLY unlikely! Unlikely in the extreme! Plus, you'll be getting a girl who'll never have time for you due to all her meetings, Field Service, and Conventions. Rather find yourself a nice girl who isn't a Witness who you can lavish your affection on, instead of one who will feel that she must tell the Elders all the details of your bedroom activities everytime you get remotely naughty.
• 

  Pathofthorns

  At 15 most JW youth are well on their way out of the religion and the double-life is well under way. Most young people aren't exactly "proud" to be Witnesses and hide it and I doubt she even brings it up very often. If she is associating with a non-JW who's mom is an ex-Witness that says lots about her "loyalty" to this religion.

  People need to keep in mind that this younger generation has a completely different attitude toward their parents beliefs. If we condemn all JW's as evil and manipulative then we basically are condemning ourselves too.

  Dude, I think it is great that your mom is leaving this decision up to you. Religion will ultimately play a part in this scenario and likely will create some difficulties. But sometimes things go okay and sometimes we just have to find out the hard way. If you want to learn in detail about this religion then keep in mind your mother's cautions and do your learning from a distance.

  Path
• 

  DakotaRed

  Hi again, Spencer. For a close look at what they can be like, look at these girls attitude towards your Mom. Do they greet her in a friendly manner? Are they willing to abide by her house rules? Can they simply accept the fact that she used to be a JW and now, no longer wishs too? Then, ask yourself, do you really need to associate with someone who mistreats your own Mom who I doubt has ever done anything to them?

  In my own case, I was married to a JW when I disassociated. She remained faithful to the dubs. Whenever her dubbie friends or elders would come by and visit, I was expected to leave the room, in my own house. If I didn't, I was not even spoken to, not even a greeting. Yet, all of them were more than happy to partake of whatever I was supplying or get their cars started if their battery was dead. Still, not even a thank you. They would ask the wife to have me jump start their car, then when I did, jump in and drive off.

  When I objected to being shunned in my own house, my wife said, "you knew what to expect." So, we are now separated and I have filed for a divorce, expected to be final in November.

  But, ask yourself, do you really need to be with a people that wishes to have nothing to do with your own Mother? Bear in mind, you would also be encouraged to turn your back on your Mom, if you ever became one.

  So much for "Honor thy father and mother."

  Lew W
• 

  larc

  Welcome Spencer, if you have any specific questions, feel free to ask. As you can see from the comments thus far, you will get lots of input. If you want to know some of our personal stories, you can go to "Who's Who" at the bottom of this page.
• 

  YoursChelbie

  Welcome to the board,

  So great to hear from a young person! You are 15, that's a wonderful age to grow and learn from those who have knowledge to pass on to you. Life is such a learning experience. Listen to all the advice from your Mom. She is a very sweet and insightful lady. Hope to hear from you again soon!
  
  With that a BIG welcome HUG to you ((Spencer))

  YoursChelbie
• 

  outnfree

  Welcome to the Board, recneps!

  I also urge you to go to Personal Experiences and read the stories there. Spend 15 mins. a day. Heck, spend another 15 minutes a day reading the Bible on your own, without WT study aids. If those two things don't raise all kinds of alarm bells in your head, well, Incense has a hard task ahead of her to keep you safe from the Witnesses.

  I wanted to touch on something that Path said, too. He mentioned that many Witness kids today are leading double lives and that your girlfriend isn't necessarily "loyal" to the religion. That may be true ... now! I studied with the Witnesses when I was 17 and, at 19, threw everything over to date (and subsequently marry) the divorced Catholic who has been my husband for the past 24 years. NONETHELESS, the Witnesses had convinced me of many things, and so I was convinced I was doomed whenever Armageddon came. I was willing to accept that ... FOR ME. But once I had a child, I was NOT willing to sentence her to death by my non-compliance with Witness 'truths'. I secretly began studying again, and five years later was baptized. This caused no end of friction in my marriage. And nobody was happier that I left the religion voluntarily 11+ years later than my long-suffering husband and my 4 children!!!

  Just a word to the wise for anyone contemplating a relationship with a JW who does not seem particularly zealous for the faith at the time. The tentacles are far-reaching, and the indoctrination is thorough. A relapse into loyalty can recur at any future time, leaving the never-a-JW spouse/boy- or girl-friend reeling from the abrupt change in demeanor and lifestyle.

  Best of luck to you on your search, spencer!

  outnfree
• 

  sunshineToo

  Spencer(?) It seems like everyone is calling you by this name.

  Do the research. It is the best way to find out. If you just hear from us or your mom, you are making a decision based on hearsay. And that can backfire to you later. Does your mom have a Watchtower CD ROM? If she doesn't, can you ask your JW friend for one? Read "Crisis of Conscience". That'll be a good start. Do not just believe whatever is written in that book. Do the research. Find out for yourself. Then, in the future you might be able to help others to see the truth about the WTS.

  Good luck!

  sunshineToo
• 

  sunshineToo

  Oh, yeah! Your screen name is backward of your real name.

  spencer and recneps

  Ha! Interesting!
• 

  Mum

  I believe in freedom of association. However, since you are so young, it might be a good idea to respect your mother's wishes. My biggest issue with the JW's has always been the way their children have to suffer; and this was before I knew about the apparently widespread child molestation that goes on within the org. I recommend that you be kind and supportive to your JW friend, as she probably has no real friends except you and other "worldly" associates she might have. However, maintain a certain distance and don't believe anything she tells you on face value. She is brainwashed and lives in constant fear of losing everyone and everything she holds dear. That is the life of a JW.

  Proceed with caution.
• 

  bboyneko

  I dont think a mom should forbid her son from seeing someone on the basis of religion..thats not much different than banning a son from seeing someone based on skin color or nationality. Your son should be allowed to see her and learn from the experience. Yes, its not likley to succeed since shes an active witness. She will be wracked with guilt everytime she goes on a date with him or makes out.

  But let go of your bitter hate for just one second and let your son be 15. Let him live and experience life. Your worst fear is that he will become JW too Im sure. I think that he wont and you owe it to him to let him prove himself and live his own life. He's only 15, its doubtful he'll marry her. And not all JW's are evil, out to get you. They are for the most part, decent people who have been taught to be selfish, haughty and dogmatic as a way of life.

  Thats my take on it. You dont have to approve on him seeing her, but you shouldnt ban it either.