I have just been shunned!

by Vivamus 45 Replies latest jw friends

  • Vivamus
    Vivamus

    I have just been shunned!

    I was standing in my kitchen, which has a view on a parking lot in front of my house. Well, I was doing my dishes, and I see this car parking (quit clumsily I might add). First thing I saw, was a yellow looking suit. Witnesses! Recognised it immediately. And then the passenger stepped out. And I was a bit taken aback cause that was an elder, who always called me his daughter. I loved the man dearly, and had him and his wife over for diner many times, and visa versa. Now, this man had told my mum not so long ago, he would never shun me, cause he is an elder and therefore still allowed to talk with me. (is that correct by the way, those were my mums words)

    Much to my surprise however

    Thats love for ya. Well, I guess its just more of the same.

    Viv.

  • Naeblis
    Naeblis

    wait wait wait... a yellow suit? Was he wearing a yellow hat??

  • Vivamus
    Vivamus

    Lol @ Naeblis, no, I guess he forgot the matching hat!

  • Reborn2002
    Reborn2002

    If you are going to trust a Jehovah's Witness and take them at their word you might as well walk into an Al-Qaeda camp adorned in an American flag.

    To trust in a Jehovah's Witness is folly.

    They change their belief system and practices to suit their needs.

    I am sorry Vivamus, I know how it feels. My family has shunned me.

    Edited by - Reborn2002 on 14 August 2002 5:34:47

  • Prisca
    Prisca
    you might as well walk into an Al-Qaeda camp adorned in an American flag.

    LOL... love the visual image this gives

    ((((((Viv)))))) Sorry to hear about it. I have close family friends that don't have anything to do with me now. So much for their "love", eh?

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Ok, ok, he forgot his hat. Did he have the matching necktie and socks?

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    (((Viv)))

  • Vivamus
    Vivamus

    Okay, okay, I'll elaborate on the outfit, geesh, is that all you people care about? .

    He was wearing a yellowish suit, picture a color close to yellow, but a bit more brown. He had a matching tie and I really wouldn't know the color of the socks LT. But he looked quite handsome, he was part Indonesian I think, cause the colors did become him. I wonder if he was single ....

    Thanks Spaz and Pris.

    Hugs to all of you!

    Edited by - Vivamus on 14 August 2002 5:45:42

  • Matty
    Matty

    I've just looked in my wardrobe at my dozens of dub suits and I'm wondering what the hell to do with them all when I leave as there is a casual dress policy at my work. I feel naked without a tie! I guess this would be the very least of my problems to work out.

    ((((((Vivamus))))))

    Perhaps he saw you, but didn't think you saw him, and so he just walked away. It's utterly despicable and cowardly, but it's likely that I would have done the same only a few months ago. Who knows what he might be thinking inside though? If he's anything like me it would be guilt and embarrassment.

    They are scared, fearful people, frightened of breaking the rules because then they will get God's judgment too. Just be glad you are well out of it!

  • da_luvvin_bruvva
    da_luvvin_bruvva

    Oh ((((((((((((((((Viv)))))))))))))))))

    If only we could sit round a table and talk, just talk to these people who were once our luvved ones, our close friends, our family and so called 'bruvva's and sista's inda troof'!

    The only way I get through every day of shunning is to hold my head up high, smile, and say hello to them, ALWAYS. Especially when I take my kids to school.....what a disgrace! They may feel they're justified in shunning me, but my kids?

    I'm absolutely resolute in not stooping down to their level. I refuse to play their mindphuk games.

    By continuing to be 'me', I'm absolutely certain that many of the dubbs that I've greeted have had to end up 'crakin a smile' at me, despite them knowing that I'm a so called 'apostate'.

    My ill mother (who is still a luvvin sista but don't believe it anymore) lives in a granny annex next to my family home, and thus, I've got easy access into her living quarters, so when my aunt (of over 35 years in da dubbery) came over to see her, I quite instinctively said, "hi Aunt..., you're looking well, how are you".

    Looking at my mum, her reply was........"you know you're not supposed to talk to me"

    Looking directly at her, my reply was......."well, as I don't live by Watchtower rules, my Christian conscience doesn't allow me to be rude and inconsiderate to friends, family, and especially relatives. Its up to you if you want to live under the Watchtower rules and shun me, my wife and kids, but I'm afraid, we're not going to play that game, ever. We will ALWAYS continue to show you love and respect, even if you don't return it......"

    Her mouth dropped to the floor and my mum winked at me with a cute little smile on her face.

    My closing words to her were........."we may have stopped being witnesses, but we sure not going to stop being Christian, so we will always love you, ciao.....", and walked out of the room.

    The only advice I ever give to any of my family is to keep on being ok with the dubbs. Keep on greeting them even when they shun you cos I found that if you put your head down and accept the shunning, you're basically showing them that you are in actual fact 'ashamed' of your situation.

    You should never ever be ashamed of the fact that you're out of that cult Viv. You know its not 'da troof', unfortunately, they don't. However, one day, by the way you show that you're not shaken by their shunning, they may even start finding it hard to shun you.

    I've been able to get loads of dubbs out, and so has da_luvvin_sista, my wife! And its only been as a result of continuing to show that we weren't affected by the shunning (we obviously were, but we hid it). Its workin quite nicely now here where we live and surrounding areas from where da_luvvin_sista comes from.

    We are truly blessed to be out 'n free. They're the ones that are shackled in the WT bondage, so, in a way, despite the fact that they can make you physically sick just looking at them, ya just gotta feel sorry for e'm.

    Keep your chin up Viv.

    We'll never shun you.

    Luv, da_luvvin_bruvva

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