Let's play Un-Theocratic Ministry School (page 4)

Bang

bang looks and waits, and ponders the scriptures

And David smote the land, and left neither man nor woman alive......Such was his custom all the while he dwelt in the country of the Philistines.

Mindchild

(feels he is on a roll and addresses Mimilly)

Thank you for the drink!

Yes, well where were we? Disfellowshiping. Yes, this is a Biblically based example of how to keep congregations clean. You must remove the bad apple from the bunch or it spoils all the rest. It is simply a way to seperate those individuals who don't abide by Godly standards away from those who truly want to serve God and do their best to keep spiritually clean. Without this wonderful tool, individual weaknesses would be exploited by wolves in the congregation to cause them to become unclean.

Well we can be certain that Jehovah's Witnesses are the true and only organization approved by God because they preach the good news worldwide, they speak about God's name, they have an accurate understanding of the Bible, and they are blessed by God. The evidence is so overwhelming that it is indisputable. It might be hard for you to see that being an outsider but once you have investigated it you can see for yourself. Would you like to come to one of our meetings to see the joy we experience from being God's choosen people?

Mindchild

(starts to look wantonly at Mimilly) lol....hey remember this is untheocratic ministry school.

Mimilly

So what happens to those who are disfellowshipped? Jesus never did that. He talked to everyone regardless of what mistakes they'd made. Humans are imperfect and will make mistakes. Who are the Jehovahs to judge? Judgin' is only for God to do. This don't sound right to me. I mean, look at the example of the good samaritan. That in itself shows that God recognizes someone's heart and actions - not just belongin' to a certain group. That samaritan never said Jehovah.

There are other churches mister who use the name Jehovah and they read their bibles and they have plenty of joy. Maybe you can't see this cos you're on the inside.

You have a family don't ya? What happens if one of em gets disfellowshipped?

.........

MegaDude

DUDE: I'm glad we both agree that we need to be careful to check to make sure what our church says is true. The Bibles says we should worship with spirit AND truth. So the Bible supports us when we carefully examine what our churches tell us.

And I wonder if you have examined carefully this teaching that your church has that the end is near. When I was talking with my JW relative and he told me the end was near, I did a lot of research in the literature from the Watchtower Society. It really was surprising to see what they had to say about it. Hang on a second.

*excuses himself from the door and fetches xerox copies of Watchtower literature which I really have close by!*

DUDE: This is what concerned me, and perhaps you could explain to me why your church does this.

Do you see this Watchtower from January 15, 1894. It says, and I quote, "The date of the close of that battle is definitely marked in scripture as October, 1914. It is already in progress, its beginning dating from October 1874."

Then the Watchtower said in July of that same year "There is no reason for changing the figures: they are God's dates, not ours. 1914 is not the date for the beginning, but the end."

Then in 1917 the Watchtower said, "That the harvest begain in 1878 there is ample and convincing proof. The END of the harvest is due in the spring of 1918."

Then later the Watchtower said: "There will be no slip-up....Abraham should enter upon the actual possession of his promised inheritance in the year 1925 A.D."

Then in 1941 the Watchtower said concerning the book "Children," that it "will prove useful in the remaining months before Armageddon."

But then in 1968 the Watchtower said 1975 was going to be the end. *Shows Brother Skip article "Why are you looking forward to 1975.*

Then in 1989 the Watchtower said: "The apostle Paul was spearheading the Christian missionary activity. He was also laying a foundation for a work that would be completed in our 20th Century."

Were you aware that your church has made so many predictions for the end of the world coming by a certain year or time?

Bang

bang sees that they look like humans, not monsters, and wonders why the ones in suits didn't come so he could rip them to shreads. what do ya say ta girls?

And he ponders scripture - do not welcome them in, nor wish them a good day

Edited by - bang on 18 August 2002 12:31:57

Mindchild

(wakes up from a daydream of chasing Mimilly nude on the beach)

what? Oh, well where were we? Groan, disfellowshiping.

Well, the early Christians removed people from their congregations that were causing problems and this is the example. There was a lot of things that Jesus didn't address that the early Christian congregations had to deal with.

I think people make too much of this disfellowshiping mechanism. Other churches do it too you know. It is called excommunication by them, same thing but just a different name.

Everyone knows that we want disfellowshiped ones to repent and come back in. This provision helps them appreciate the need to be spiritually strong and while the sentences may be tough, it is better to keep the congregation clean than to be too soft and let evil take root inside the congregation. By the way, didn't Jesus say he came to not create peace but to create divisions in family? Sad to say, many people fail to appreciate that just being a family member doesn't mean you will survive Armaggedon when God kills all those who won't own up to his high standards. You have to be in good standing to survive this coming battle between good and evil. If you are soft on disfellowshiped ones you can't do that.

SYN

Dub Bashing Simulations ROCK!!!

Mindchild

(addresses MegaDude)

I find it disturbing that you know so much about our organization and you allow yourself to be stumbled over a little thing like this! God always uses imperfect people, the uneducated, the poor, the wretched, the meek to use as his instruments. They are bound to make mistakes but they are humble and acknowledge they made mistakes (after all we are only human) but the light is getting brighter and brighter and only those who show great endurance will survive the end of this wicked system of things.

All these mistakes made in the past therefore are of no real importance. What is really important is to associate yourself with us and send money regularly to Brooklyn...err I mean to apply yourself to the spiritual food given out by the FDS to change your life in harmony with the scriptures so that you too can survive into the new order. Then, you will have a wonderful life living like a third world farmer working your ass off to get enough to eat, err I mean you will enjoy the pristine agricultural life free from stress and suffering we see all around us.

Mindchild

(Knocks softly on Bang's door...hoping nobody is at home)

Let's play Un-Theocratic Ministry School

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