by sunshineToo 27 Replies latest jw friends
((((((((((((((((sunshineToo))))))))))))))))))))
Your heart must be torn - so happy to be marrying the man you love, and unhappy by the unloving way your mum is treating you. As the others have said, make this YOUR day, not your mother's. See it as the beginning of a whole new life with a wonderful man by your side.
May you have a wonderful Wedding Day, and many years of happiness.
(((((((SunshineToo)))))
I'm sorry, I know how that hurts. Not all of my family have been so totally brain dead to the society
to the point of going that far, but I have expierenced it and it is very hurtful.
I know this is easier said then done,
but try put it asside as much as possible and don't let it spoil your plans.
Plum
SunshineToo, obviously, you got through her barrier by your words.
So I said, "Well, if that's what you think, then I don't have anything to say. But I love you, mom." Then, she got hostile. "What? You love me? You are saying that you love me? How can you say that?"
And it looks like she will come to the wedding, not for your sake, but not to look bad to the rest of the family.
I know that she might still come to the wedding because of other guests; she has to act to show. But I do know that she will shun me.
So if she comes, dont shun her, SunshineToo. Take someone with you she has an image to maintain in front of. Go up and greet her and hug her telling her you are glad she is there and that you love her.
DJ had some good advice.
You handled her just fine, try to continue to treat her in a loving and respectful way. I think that even though you may feel hated, somewhere deep inside your mom knows that she is wrong. Try to never ever argue scripture with her! (LOL, like that works.....) No, seriously just show her your love and tell her that you love her even while she's reading you the riot act. This too will pass
Hugs to you ((((((hugs))))))))))))
But keep loving yourself
Edited by - Blondie on 19 August 2002 7:1:7
Sunshine:
You have been Hugged. * yep a drive by Hugging. (( Hug ))
Xandria
She has shunned me as of today. It is sad because I thought my mom would never do that to me.
I went through a simulae expierence. It may NOT be so much that she is "shunning" you as much as it may just be she's trying to sort things out in her mind about the whole situation between her personal feelings and what she thinks is expected of her.
Maybe she will come around. Either way is does no good to build a bigger wall and it does help to try and keep an open mind.
((((((((((Sunshine Too)))))))))
So sorry to hear that you're going through this; I HATE what the borg does to families! Everyone has offered some really good advice as to making your wedding day just that...YOUR day. At my wedding, the only family member present was my father (he was never a JW), and it hurt like hell. I cried all the way home from the reception and my poor hubby (also not a JW) thought that I had changed my mind about marrying him! Poor guy didn't know what he was getting himself into. However, even though we are now divorced, even though my family wasn't there, I still have good memories of that day. After all, it was a turning point in my life...just as your wedding day will be a milestone for you.
I wish you all the best, dear Sunshine...hold your head up high and enjoy what life has to offer.
Dana
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Shunning sucks.
Free
(((((((((((((((((((SUNSHINE TOO)))))))))))))))))))
YOU GOT MAIL
She said that I had to go to look for my wedding dress by myself, and that she wouldn't come to the wedding. But when I was leaving my parents' house, she told me that she would like to go to the wedding dress shops.
((((((((((sunshine Too)))))))))))))
I, too, think that your mom is trying to figure out exactly how she is going to internalize the new toughening up of shunning regulations. It seems to me that she's still struggling with "surely they don't expect me to have nothing to do with my daughter's wedding!" Of course, the Tower does expect that, but she doesn't want it to be so. Your willingness to keep on loving her through it all speaks volumes about YOUR ability to love unconditionally. I think your husband is going to be a very lucky man!
out
This is just too sad. Someday, I believe she will have deep regrets. I would think that even JW's would consider a wedding to be "necessary family business", to quote them.
((((((((((((((((((((((Sunshine Too)))))))))))))))))))))))
