by In_between_days 15 Replies latest jw friends
I realized I was no longer a JW in my mind when the guilt was gone.
I was trying to make a decision one day and I remember thinking that I wanted to make the right decision so I wouldn't be living with guilt. Then it hit me - the guilt from being a JW was gone. At some point it had completely dissipated and I didn't even realize it until that moment.
When I no longer lived with that guilt is when I knew I was truly free.
for me it was the pedophile story that came out, which led my husband to silentlambs.com,which led he and I to reading Crisis of Conscience,and the Search book and this site, (not totally sure if it's this site or not) which talked about the UN scandel, things were set into motion fairly fast and we had to say goodbye. First I sent out letters to a few in the congregation letting them know how I felt about a few things so they wouldn't be so shell shocked. I've heard them say before this about worldly people and now I can say it to them, "They just don't get it"
Ok I got it - It was when I saw the happiness on my children's face when they had their first x-mas.
Peace - LL
Ok, I'm still not sure of the question here but I'll try. The guilt was gone, the pain drifted into the past where other bad memories live. Anger grew but love subdued it because for the first time I realized that Jesus died for me too. dj
Completely free of the Borg? Yes. Though sometimes, I still catch myself calling it 'the truth' when speaking in retrospect.
When did everything change? When I saw Jehovah blessing his creations in New York last year, Incidentally, the same day I decided I was an Athiest.
As an Elder, I was appalled at the double standards at the local level. I took it upon myself to read Ray Franz' first book, Crisis of Conscience, which filled in a lot of "gaps" and questions I have had most my life. I realized then it was just a man made organization. Well, we still got the doctrines right! Thats what counts!
About a year later, I read Ray's second book, In Search of Christian Freedom, and realized that most of what the WT imposes on its members was far from Bible based. I then DAed myself.
Edited by - thichi on 23 August 2002 13:59:11
Edited by - thichi on 23 August 2002 14:0:26
