Why do you bother to post on this site? What good does it do you? What do you gain from posting?
I know what drives me to make posts! Here`s why I post on this site:
When I left the witnesses back in `72, it was for all the usual reasons. You know the sort of thing, the blood issue seemed ridiculous, disfellowshipping felt instinctively wrong, as did the interference in our relationships with the opposite sex.
Then of course, the societies reasoning seemed flawed. On the one hand, they would say about hell: “How can we imagine a loving god doing such a thing as tormenting people in hell fire?” Later, they would paint lurid pictures of what it would be like to die at Armageddon which seemed to be a direct contradiction of their earlier argument.
Plus I wanted to have some fun!
Well, I thought that I`d caught up in my maturation process, but about 15 years on from my leaving, things started to surface from my subconscious mind that I had not even realised had been put in place. Here`s a few examples:
My middle son wanted to go trick or treating at Halloween, I said: “No, you`re encouraging the demons!”
My wife wanted to go to college, I felt threatened that my position as `head of the house` would be usurped.
Every year I would protest at the erecting of the Christmas tree and quote the stuff from Jeremiah 10 about the decorating of a tree being “vain”.
In short, I was still acting like a witness!
I realised that there was a side of me that was a pain in the **** to my loved ones, a side of me that was still critical and condemnatory. I resolved to deal with this aspect of my personality and `de-witness-ise` my outlook.
Over the next 12 years I looked really hard at the WTBTS`s teachings. I read a book called the “Secret World of Cults” by June Ritchie which had a large section devoted to JW`s. There was a phone number in the book that eventually contacted. A few days later I received a package containing info from former JW`s and a copy of the UK branches tax submissions to the Inland Revenue. WoW! They had millions on deposit!
This was the real release for me, but there was no-one that I could tell, no one who had my degree of interest, no one that could really share my sense of outrage. Her ladyship, bless `er, did her best, but only an ex-dub can totally understand another ex-dubs sense of violation.
Eventually, I found myself being connected to the internet, and I tentatively typed in “disfellowship”. Bingo! Page after page of references, dozens of sites, lots to read. Day after day I scoured these pages, I would frequently call in the family and say “Look at this!”, but there was still no-one that I could really relate to about how excited I was at this new information.
Eventually I discovered bulletin boards that dwelt on witness issues. I found that certain posters could bring to the surface old imprinted stuff that had been holding me back for years. As a result, I find that my mind has cleared, the old hang-ups are fast disappearing, I feel that I have a new “handle” on life.
To get back to my opening question of “What do you gain from posting?”, the answer is simple: It`s the best therapy in the World!
Englishman