So Whats Driving You To Make Posts?

by Englishman 29 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  ShaunaC

  Thank you for helping me in my recovery, Gopher! Your words are very soothing. Keep 'em coming!

  Agape,
  Shauna
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  expatbrit

  I think there are four main reasons for me:

  1 - Desire for information. Even though I'm out, I still find it beneficial to find out things about the WT teachings, history and politics. It helps me to not get sucked back in by my well-meaning family by reinforcing my convictions that I was right to leave.

  2 - Shared experiences. It's good to talk with others who have experienced the same things. I know that several posters here have very similar circumstances to mine with all their family still being JW's. It'll be mutually encouraging and helpful to share events and observations on dealing with this situation.

  3 - I admit to being a trifle bit pissed off at the WT. I could bottle it up and get an ulcer. Or I can get some outlet by posting here, where people will understand my anger. So posting here can be a relief too.

  4 - There's a whole bunch of nice people here! Who wouldn't want to chat with y'all?

  Expatbrit.
• 

  unanswered

  the biggest reason i am here is that i have, and have had for years up until now, three people in my life that i can freely discuss my feelings about the WT and being a former jw with, who understand what i've been through because they've gone through it too. to now have a whole community of intelliigent people who are open to discussion, and have similar backgrounds, is something i value very highly. i like having a place with no muzzles, a place where i'm not looked down upon for questioning and expressing my views. thanks to simon, and all of the rest of you.
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  Grunt

  I post because it makes me angry to see my wife cry herself to sleep so many nights over a little girl whom she loved and raised and who now treats her like a stranger.
  
  I post because this cult, known as Jehovah's Witnesses, claims to be pure and clean when they are dirty and false.
  
  I post as much for the many posts I erase as the few I put in.
  
  I post to shine the light in the faces of these phonies who love the dark so much and who put forth "A Good Witness" no matter what it costs the innocents involved.
  
  When my daughter first stopped speaking to me I called her at home and only got the machine. I got fed up with it and called her at work. Her best friend at work picked up the phone and I told her I was my daughter's dad and could I please speak to her. The girl was real nice, said it was nice to talk to me and then went and got my daughter. I was shocked at how sweet my daughter was. It was as though nothing had happened. (The night before I had received a note under my door when we were gone. The note said she was adjusting our relationship, to ZERO) I talked to her and told her how I felt, she agreed it was all best dropped and I told her I would see her soon. I was sincere. I was heartbroken after a sleepless night of comforting her mother and wondering where we went wrong. She was acting; and giving "A good Witness." She told me later in a heated discussion that I had "Forced" her to talk by calling her at work where she "Had" to talk. Wow. It gave me a new insight into the culture of Jehovah's Witnesses. I was worried about losing my little girl. She was worried that the other girls in the office might get a negative impression of the Witnesses if they heard her shun her dad. Lie if it protects the front, no matter who it hurts. To her friend she was still a normal, loving daughter glad to talk to her dad. The truth was she thought she had sold her parents for a piece of Paradise Earth and she was just acting normal so she had a better chance of witnessing to the girl.
  My wife was never a witness but got cut out as part of the package. My wife and I are always together and if it meant being around me to see her, well, what is loyalty to Jehovah without a sacrifice or two? It has been two years. The act goes on. It wounds afresh her mother who holds no grudges and just wants to know what is happening in the life of her child. My wife who would give anything and shed tears of joy if her daughter would just come and drink a cup or coffee or go shopping, or just really talk and show she still cares about her. My wife who is normal and loving, but who like so many others, has to deal with pain anytime she thinks of her daughter, every day, every night, because of this cult.
  
  I post on occasion just to reveal that culture for what it is. Uncaring. Unloving. UnChristian.
  
  I only speak the truth, and I always hope that the ring of that truth will strike a sympathetic vibration in someone who needs to really look at what they are becoming, protecting, and promoting.
• 

  Esmeralda

  Dear Grunt,

  I was really cut to the heart reading this part of your post:

  "It has been two years. The act goes on. It wounds afresh her mother who holds no grudges and just wants to know what is happening in the life of her child. My wife who would give anything and shed tears of joy if her daughter would just come and drink a cup or coffee or go shopping, or just really talk and show she still cares about her. My wife who is normal and loving, but who like so many others, has to deal with pain anytime she thinks of her daughter, every day, every night, because of this cult."

  I am on the reverse end of that situation, I wish desperately for a mother who could be anything resembling 'normal' in the way that your wife is. Your post is another gut wrenching reminder of exactly why I sought out the online community to discuss the organization, even though it took a year and a half after my disfellowshipping to be ready for it.

  Please give your wife a hug and tell her that it is from a motherless daughter, who wishes with all her heart that your daughter will come around and realize the treasure she has in a mother who wants a relationship with her. My mother won't even try. I hope that she doesn't waste too much time before she comes around.

  That brings me to your question, Englishman. Why do I post here?

  Believe me, I have wanted to walk away. So many times. From re-living on a daily basis the darker times of my life through the letters from and experiences of other people. To completely move on with my life. But as of yet, I just can't.

  I was alone too long to ever want anyone else to go through that feeling of isolation. I wanted to reach out in some way, even if only a small one, to others who were going through the same grief over their families and this cult.

  That's why I stick around, even if only in the background sometimes. I'm limited now in how much I can participate, but I just want to add my voice to try to comfort other survivors, and warn the unsuspecting about the reality of what it means to be involved with Jehovah's Witnesses.

  Great thread, Englishman. I tip my hat to you once again.

  *hugs*
  Essie

  The Four Agreements:
  Be Impeccable With Your Word
  Don't Take Anything Personally
  Don't Make Assumptions
  Always Do Your Best
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  Uncanny

  Like many others, I lurk a lot more than I post. But as a lot of your replies thus far have listed benefits from just being involved with a JW Forum like this one, I'll give you my main motive.

  Apart from all the wonderful 'theocratic' criticism, debate and Bible research plus the wit and humour of some of the main players, my number one reason for being here every day is how I get reassured I did the right thing disassociating myself over a year ago.

  I have yet to feel even one tinge of regret.

  Cheers, Englishman,

  Uncanny
• 

  CornerStone

  Hello All,

  It's really sad to read post like Grunt's. The WTS has much to answer for. I post for reasons similar to Expatbrits' reasons. A hunger for knowledge/ information and to see what's on other peoples minds. In the org., opinionated people are seen as a cancer that needs to be cut out or "cut off." This goes directly against our nature. The Bible treats thinking people as a resource that needs direction but the WTS treats them as toxic waste that needs removal and dissposal. Imagine the fustration one feels to go up to a "glorius one" and ask about the trinity or the blood issue and the next day lose your privilages. ???????????????? What happened? Small minded people did not want to have to think beyond their "comfort zone" and they used their autocratic authority to "deal" with you. Fine! I would rather be exercising my thinking proceses and mabey arriving at some answers that to be a lemming about to go over the cliff! So, gripeing and bad spelling aside, I post for knowledge and mabey, just mabey, a little commrodery.

  CornerStone
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  RedhorseWoman

  Expatbrit has pretty well summed up my reasons, also. Additionally, I found that even though I had been "out" for many years, I was not free.

  I still carried a lot of WT baggage, and I felt that I was the only one who had left the WTBTS. I found another discussion board several years ago while searching for ex-Mormon sites for my nephew (poor kid, he was both a Witness and a Mormon, as well as Baptist).

  I started reading some posts out of curiosity and wonderment that there were others out there like me. I found that even after years of being inactive and away from the influence, the stories affected me very deeply. I spent weeks reading and crying, and letting go of all the guilt and the fear that I had carried.

  Then I found that my experiences were helpful to others, so I stayed. After that, I found that I genuinely liked many of the people I had met on that board and that they were becoming friends (BTW, they still are friends).

  I used to enjoy a rousing Biblical debate. However, I haven't opened a Bible in years, and I find that debating doctrine leaves me cold. There are, however, people out there who are hurting and who feel that they are the only ones dealing with the trauma of a JW life. I feel I need to give back some of the support that I have received, and I also find that this board, too, has many people with whom I have begun to forge friendships. I like to visit with them.
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  patio34

  Great question! I was really glad to find this place as am new to leaving jws. Wake up every morning with a disturbing feeling because of a void in my life. There is literally no one to talk to--after being a jw for 3 decades. The only others are people at work, who can't understand and it's even embarrassing to say some of the problems. So talking with others who are in the same boat is a great relief. It's lonely leaving. I have a son coming to visit in 2 weeks for a month and he is a pioneer and ministerial servant and ex-Bethelte--enough said. He does not know yet about my leaving. Dreading his reaction when the Memorial comes!
  I've read where keeping a journal improved test subjects' asthma by improving the immune system. The theory being that getting problems out of your mind is beneficial. Also, that may be why prayer helps people. So, this board helps in two ways: hearing others' ideas and experiences; and expressing one's own concerns.
  So, thanks for all of your posts and it's great to get to know you!
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  Simon

  I think you have it spot on for me too expatbrit.
  I have done a lot of research on the WT and beliefs and want to share some information with others to help them break free if I can or avoid getting drawn in in the first place.
  Also, it is an outlet for the anger that their treatment of me and my family and give me something positive to do .
  Unfortunately, many of my family too are shunning us so it is nice to have some fellowship with people who I know understand all the ins and outs of the situation. I need to catch up with the non-JW family that I know I have but have never met for many many years. I met my half-sister in Canada last year and her family (my neice thinks I'm cool ). That was really nice