Life after JW

by bsand20 15 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  LisaRose

  I highly recommend meditation. It has been life changing for me and has been proven to reduce stress, lower blood pressure and help with anxiety and depression. Control your breathing and you control your emotions, it's really that simple

  I also recommend journaling. Sit down every day and write down everything that is in your head. Don't filter, just write three pages. After a while you will start to see a theme, those thoughts and triggers that are bothering you.

  These two things will help you sift through your conflicting thoughts and emotions and help you deal with them. Someone once said that it's not what happens to you that causes problems, it's how you feel about what happens to you. As ex JWs, we can usually do nothing about the hand we were delt, but we can control our feelings and emotions about what has happened.

  I hope that helps, feel free to pm me if you have any questions.
• 

  Gulf Coaster

  I second LisaRose re meditation.

  Last year I developed a medical condition that's not all that big a deal but due to anxiety I managed to blow it completely out of proportion. I lost my appetite and literally couldn't swallow my food most days, dropping 30lbs in 6 weeks. I looked close to anorexic, not a healthy weight for me at all. Even my doctor thought it might be cancer so I had a PET scan along with 8 other tests.

  Long story short, the condition is now manageable after taking up Mindfulness Meditation. I bought CDs by Jon Kabat-Zinn, ripped them to my MP3 player and every afternoon, I meditate. My favorite is the Body Scan Meditation. His voice alone is so soothing. I have to admit I was doubtful at first but I really needed something at the time and didn't want to go the medication route. It might not be for everybody but it can't hurt to try as it might work for you, as it did me and quite a few other people I know.

  All the best.
• 

  dubstepped

  There are apps like Calm and Headspace that you can use to give meditation a try. Obviously there are lots of options out there, including different types of meditation, but my wife tried the former and I the latter and we both liked them. There were paid versions, but we just used the free aspects of them both.

  I always thought that I could never meditate because my brain is constantly churning. What I learned that helped me was that it wasn't about not thinking, but rather observing your thoughts and going back to the breath. It helps me to be mindful of how I'm feeling and acting in daily life, like I can now step back and observe. It helps to keep me from getting too wound up at times. So I'll third the recommendation of meditation above as yet another way to help you move on in your life after JW.
• 

  Gulf Coaster

  dubstepped, that's what stopped me from trying meditation before: the idea that my mind would be way too busy to empty itself and meditate. But that's not what's expected after all. I had that wrong. The meditation program I use tells you to not feel bad or guilty if you find your mind wandering off while trying to meditate. Rather, just acknowledge that thought and come right back to the breath, no matter how many times it happens. That was a large part of the success for me. I could relax once I got that mistaken idea out of my head.

  Meditation has been used in a lot of medical centres for years to help patients deal with the pain and stress while undergoing treatment for illnesses. It's not that mystical, woo-woo stuff anymore. It's quite mainstream.
• 

  bsand20

  I will give meditation a try. I'm sure if I had more support locally it would make it easier. Unfortunately being raised JW you don't get to form those long lasting friendships everyone else does in school that go beyond school years and so I have aquaintences but no one who is like family. Trying to keep my mind focused on other things but it's def not easy. Thank you everyone for the advice.
• 

  sparrowdown

  You could still be needing the approval of others to feel happy, we learn that in dubdom.

  Give yourself permission to love and accept yourself, regardless of how others view you.