So I was put in the back of a police car.... (page 4)

Mimilly

Simon and Ang - I don't know what I'd do without this site. It's the best 'home' I've ever had.

Queenie darlin' - I will be spending Labor Day weekend nursing a cold I probably caught at the hospital. My doctor put me on antibiotics again. I spent last night trying to sleep, but a sore throat and itchy ears just led to a horrible headache by the time the sun rose. However, I am alive, and that is what counts right now. I have to go out today to get dog and cat food. Then I am going to get dressed in the warmest stuff I have (cos I'm cold - fever) and watch tv.

Queenie - I'm so sorry you have to deal with those blisters and edema. You've been through so much already. I just want you to know that it means SO much to me that you keep checking in on my thread here. (my personal breakdown in cyberspace) We're made of tough stuff aren't we doll! I'm glad Lisa and Mamie Kitty are with you. My oldest, Beth, has been super, and my dogs haven't left me alone since the cop took me. Oh - Queenie hon - you would LOVE my new massage therapist! He's married with two adorable kids - but he's HOT! I wish I could send him down to take care of your aches and pains.

To all who have replied here - I love you. I cannot say it enough.

To Cassi - I'm so thankful I did not add to your pain. Your email brought me to tears as I remembered hearing about my best friend Starr. The analogy the nurse showed me was profound and I think of it several times a day now.

To Chevy- I've been thinking of you quite often since I read your post. I understand how you feel sweety. My friend Starr made one attempt and lived, which I knew about, and I knew she had sooo many pills around her house. I regret not going to stay with her. They (jws) left her alone. Her second attempt succeeded and I was crushed.

For everyone - If you know of someone who is severely depressed, or who has talked about 'leaving' or giving up, mentions the word suicide ONCE, starts making funeral plans and good-byes - call the police. Drag them, trick them - get them to the ER. Don't leave them alone.

To those who are lurking - keep reading and reach out to those on the site who you can relate to. For the one who contacted me because of my experience (this thread), we all care, and as you can see, there is alot of support here. Email me anytime honey.

Again - deepest thanks to my Guardian Angel - who is human, like you and I.

sunbeams, moonbeams and everything magical,

Salem (Mimilly)

edited to add Chevy's nick as I couldn't see it before.

Edited by - Mimilly on 31 August 2002 11:33:50

LyinEyes

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((MIM)))))))))))))))))))

God, I can not believe this happened. Suicide is everywhere I look here lately, Sept . 15 is the anniversary of my mom's suicided and the cooler weather and leaves falling awaken the pain.

Please listen to me about one thing, do not stop talking to a doctor. You may think you can do it alone, or that this site is enough it is not.

You must find a trusting doctor and get on some meds or other form of treatment.

When I read this I got very upset, and I feel deep pain for you and your daughters. Thank God you are still here for them. They will need you so much, but you can't be there for them if you are sick.

If only my mom would have CONTINUED her treatement she might be with me today. This is a horrible thing and I know the pain your family must be going thru. My mom tried to kill herself so many times with pills, we all thought it was a cry for help maybe it was. But she eventually did the deed in a away that she couldnt be saved. She jumped from a high bridge and drowned. And we had to find her like that. Please do not let yourself ever get that bad again, that you go to a point you will not return. And you will get depressed again, you know how that works. This board is a life saver in many many ways. But you need help from a doctor to work thru this. I am at a lose for anymore words.

Love, Dede

(((((((((((((((((((((((( Cass))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) so sorry to hear of your friends suicide. I have been down before , very down, and I am so scared, I will flip out and do it someday. I hope I never leave behind my kids, I know that pain too well. I am sure your friend must have been very sick , this is such a sad story. hugs, dede

Mimilly

Dede - honey, I am seeing a very good doctor and am on meds. I know this site is not enough, but I'm very thankful because it was due to reaching out to someone here that led me back to the light.

August is the anniversary of my marriage breaking up, of the 'legal separation' that was to be temporary but has lasted 5 years. This time last year, I had a neighbor take me to the hospital. This year, too many things compounded the depression and overwelmed me. I see my doctor at least twice a month and will be seeing a psychiatrist as well. And I know now that I want to live. The analogy proved it to me. I'm just - overwelmed. If I feel I am slipping, I will put myself into the hospital pronto.

I love ya honey. I'm not goin' anywhere.

Salem

Matty

Someone told me that I needed a break from the site because I was going nuts, and I so I wasn't around to give you one of these dudes:

((((((Salem))))))

God knows where we'd be without you!

Edited by - matty on 31 August 2002 14:4:24

Solace

Mim, That is pretty intense. Im so glad you are O.K.

I still cant believe what so many here have endured. This site also helped me so much. Its good to know that you arent alone, ya' know.

outnfree

Mimilly,

Whoa! I had not read this when you were in chat talking about your upcoming massage! I am so glad that you are still with us. Your humor, devastating experiences and the way you have overcome them are important lessons for many on this Board. It just wouldn't be the same without you. You are quite wonderful, you know!

(((((((((((Mimilly))))))))))))

out

Cassi, honey, you have mail.

patio34

Hi Mimilly,

Im so sorry youre beset with troubles, but am so happy things are looking up for you and youve gotten past this bad time.

I had an interesting thing happen to me twice, but didnt realize the significance of it till recently. When I was ill for a few months, I had what is called suicide ideation. I didnt plan suicide, but flashes of how I could do myself in came in my mind. When I was over my cancer treatments, they just disappeared.

Recently, I was having a stressful family situation and started having the suicide ideations again. Thats when I saw a therapist, because I realized that it was a definite sign that I was miserable.

All the best and I concur with your gratitude to Simon and Ang for this board.

Love,

Pat

outoftheorg

Hi Mimilly;

Been out of town for a few days, so missed the rest of the posts here. Really glad to see you are doing well. Keep up the good work and hang on to your sense of humor.

Sorry if my post was a bit too strong for your likes. But you really scared me.

Best wishes for you and yours.

Outoftheorg

Mimilly

outoftheorg - no probs hon. I scared myself. I sincerely thank you for your honesty and concern. It just comes down to different strokes for different folks. One recipe doesn't fit all - but I certainly saw the concern in your post, and didn't doubt it for a second.

hugs,

mimilly

YERU2

Mimily,

Thank you for talking openly about suicide and your depression. Often just being able to say it out loud helps get people through danger areas. Folks, if you suspect it, ASK, DIRECTLY, "Are you thinking about suicide" or "Are you thinking about killing yourself" Don't use euphimisms like "hurting yourself" it doesn't give the individual permission to talk about it like the direct question does. Don't worry about "planting the idea of suicide" if they're not considering suicide as an option, asking won't put it there.

Mim, sounds like you know what to do, reach out, stay on meds, see doc, BUILD YOUR RESOURCES, both EXTERNAL and INTERNAL. The Suicide intervention training I have was developed in Canada it's called Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST). If ya need to talk email me.

So I was put in the back of a police car....

((((((Salem))))))

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