Minimus, you got it right. For most people, most of the time, basic personality and basic behavior does not change. There are exceptions, but they are rare, as you say, miracles. I am doing research on changes in personality. Over a period of 6 months, there is zero change, on average. Over a period of three years, there is a 3% change, and that ain't much. Folks, think about it. Go to a 20 year high school reunion. People's lives my turn out very different than you may have expected, but their basic personality is pretty much the same, with a few exceptions only.
MOST PEOPLE NEVER REALLY CHANGE
by minimus 54 Replies latest jw friends
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minimus
Dr. Larc and Minimus are smart.....I guess we told them!......lol
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QUEENIE
LDH -- why I will not ask Randy to get hitched because I love the guy way to much and I do not want to louse up my SS Disability..(((HUGS))) queenie
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animal
I see this as another attempt to lump people into seperate levels... which shouldnt happen. People are people, who cares about the rest. Taking sides on who is right or wrong on this issue, again, is BS, and definitly shows some patterns I notice thru lots of these threads.
Anyone willing to let go and grow will always change. The shy can become outgoing, the emotional can learn to not be controlled by other people. It is all so simple, but most find it easier to make a big deal out of it rather than fixing it.
The subject itself is misleading... "MOST PEOPLE NEVER REALLY CHANGE"... that is a statement, not a question. If this thread, among others, was started to form up right and wrong sides, then where are the "cant we all get along" people raising hell?
I have to agree with those that thought this was total BS.
Animal
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Sentinel
Granted, we are who we are in the depths of our individual souls. However, people can and do change. They change because they need to or want to. They change because they give up and give in. Alcoholics become sober, and sober people become alcoholics. Smokers stop smoking, and others pick the habit up out of nowhere. JW's stop being JW's, and others are recruited by the thousands. People who were good people, become abusive and dangerous to society. Dissatisfaction becomes anger, and anger becomes offensive behavior. If you think this doesn't bring on a personality change, oops, I must disagree.
Some people don't care enough to make changes that will improve their behavior and how they treat people and what they say. Granted, there are also lots of people who fit into that category. Due to genetic makeup, we are each, no doubt either obsessive-compulsive people, or addictive people from birth. And our cognition, the way our minds were shaped and the information that was programmed into us by the input from caretakers, we perceive our "world" a certain way. This determines how we react to situations that affect "our world".
I can see though, that generally speaking, there are some folks that cursed in private when a JW, or did other things in private when a JW, and lived a very deceptive secret life, so they could still have their friends and family. Were they really a true JW borg? No. If that be their nature, they used the witnesses like they use everyone else. It didn't hurt so bad when they decided to leave, or if they were found out and df'd or da'd. They don't want to change. People will just have to accept them for the way they are, or screw them. Ever heard that before?
But there are lots of us who were very sincere within the borg. So, we still try to be the kind, loving people were were then. Maybe being in the borg, actually did help lots of people, even though the doctrines were wrong, they learned to live among different types of people and fit in "socially". This is a whole other ballgame.
Change is growth. Without change, we just stagnate in the soup of life we are in, and get thrown out with the garbage. I don't want that for myself. I don't believe that most of the posters here feel that way. Frustration and anger needs to come out, I agree. Venting is healthy, but abuse is unacceptable. We've all had enough of that.
We just have to choose our friends carefully, and overlook or ignore those that hurt and abuse and offend us.
Sentinel/Karen
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QUEENIE
I undestand what has been said...AS A JW I hide a lot of my thoughts and feelings but now Queenie haz let a whole lot come out of the closet so to speak...LINDA LOU is still LINDA but much older and wiser...HEY WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET FOLKS !!!! queenie
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Xena
become who the really are instead of putting on a pretence all the time
I think Simon made a good point there, as did Valis in his post. I don't know that I have changed so much as become the person I really am instead of the person the JW's wanted me to be.
However I must say you only see a very small portion of the person I am on this board and I am sure that holds true for everyone here. lol people who have met me in person tend to find me a bit different from what they initially expected.
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ISP
I hope they do change some things....
ISP
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onacruse
larc, minimus, my esteemed friends...I must still disagree with you in the strongest possible terms. Keying off of what val and animal point out, perhaps you can help me by more clearly delineating the parameters of your hypothesis? For example...what aspects of "personality" are you talking about? While it is certainly no textbook on such matters, nevertheless, The Encyclopdia Britannica states:
"Personality: the characteristic way in which a particular individual thinks, feels, and behaves. Personality embraces a person's moods, attitudes, and opinions and is most clearly expressed in interactions with other people. Personality is those behavioral characteristics, both inherent and acquired, that distinguish each individual and are observable in the individual's relations to the environment and to the social group."
Seems to me that what I and most others here have said about the ways we have changed and intend yet to change even more fits perfectly with this definition.
Craig
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larc
Onacruse, I would me glad to define some of the parameters reflecting the constancy of human behavior. In the area if vocational interests, John Holland identified 6 rather stable interest clusters. His research and his theory was based on a factor analysis of the Strong-Campbell Interest Inventory. You can find his findings and conclusions in a book called, "Theory of Occupational Choice." In the area of personality, there have been well constructed tests, again using factor analysis. The tests that measure such personality constructs, are said to measure the "Big Five" personality measures. My own research shows that these measures do not change, on average in a period of six months. After three years, they only change by about 3%. The same results apply to measures of intelligence. I am in the process of writing a research manuscript, on the last two results, I just mentioned. It will be entitled, "Reliabilty distributions and error components of IQ and personality tests." It will be published in either the Journal of Applied Psychology or a journal entitled, Educational and Psychological Measurements.