Breaking up is hard to do

RubyTuesday

Well...My boyfriend of three years and I have broken up.The really difficult part is we have to live together for another 6 months (we signed a lease).This should be interesting.Any suggestions on how to get through this? Anyone else have a strange breakup where you had to see the person day after day?

JanH

I did the same thing. We broke up and stayed in same flat for 3-4 months while we found new places to live. Even went on vacation together (it was ordered before break).

All went surprisingly well, in fact.

LB

My first wife and I lived together for a few months after we broke up. Only problem was I didn't know we had broken up.

Honestly I don't think I could knowinly live under those conditions. How ya gonna feel when he brings home a boink buddy?

SixofNine

Put a tape line thruout the entire house, his half/your half?

Seriously? I don't know, that would be difficult. Might you get the landlord on your side and looking for a replacement tenant?

RubyTuesday

LB
Only problem was I didn't know we had broken up. LOL!!

Now you got me wondering if he really understands it is over.(We are not on speaking terms and maybe he thinks this will blow over)

I don't worry about him bringing home a boink buddy...He is more worried that I will bring home a boink buddy.

JanH
I hope this will go as smoothly as your break up.

DakotaRed

Ruby, it sounds extremely difficult. Even on a lease, though, one of you should be able to move out while the other fulfills the lease, unless it takes both of you to pay the rent. If either of you has bitter feelings over the split, I would get away from each other. Living together now is just going to be hurtful for both.

Currently, I am in the middle of a divorce. While it is a peaceful one for a change, it still feels odd when she stops by to care for matters still between us. The last thing I want, though, is for her to move back in.

Best of luck to you in this. But, I would recommend you find some way to live apart.

Lew W

RubyTuesday

Six..good one ...line throughout the house.
It would be easy to get the landlord on my side (he has a pet ..she doesn't know about)but I don't want to play dirty pool.I will always care about him..he has been such a good friend.

Dakato..I guess you could say there is a little bitterness between us ( we are not speaking to eachother) I know it would be better to live apart...but financialy it is better this way.On the other hand it might be worth it to spend a little extra money so we can get on with our lives.I'm not looking forward to being alone.I wish you the best on your divorce.

DakotaRed

Ruby, thanks for the wishes on my divorce. It is a done deal, just waiting on nthe mandatory 90 day waiting period before the judge signs the final decree. I should have all the signed papers back in mid-November.

To me, you two staying together right now could be seen as an effort to reconciliate. Of course, that is your business and between you and him. If it is definitely over, I feel moving apart to be the best way to go. If there is a chance of saving the relationship and you wish that, the not talking will soon pass and you two should work it out. Don't be talked into a reconciliation if you really want it over, though. Staying together could open you up to a lot of hurt and possibly fooling yourself into believing whatever caused the breakup can pass. Again, that is your business and something you need to look at long and hard. Being together three years is a lot like being married, just without the legalities of a marriage. Don't stay together just to avoid being alone either. I hate being alone myself, but the alternative is even worse.

As my daughters were growing up, I always told them not to sweat breaking up with boyfriends. It is much like missing a bus. Don't worry, another will be along shortly

When you find Mr. Right, though, just make sure his first name isn't "Always."

Best wishes and if you ever need someone to talk to, my email is always open.

Lew W

Lost Diamond

Ruby,

That is really very difficult. My ex didn't move out until 3 days before our divorce was final, but that's only because I had to file a restraining order on him!! It was very strange and awkward....he still thought he "should get some"!

Maybe he doesn't think it's over and thinks there is still a possibility of it blowing over. It sounds like you both should sit down and discuss it and make sure you're both on the same page with this one.

LB

I should have all the signed papers back in mid-November.

Do I see an apostaparty in our future here Dakota???

For my divorce my buddies took me out, got me roaring drunk, drove me around with cans banging off the back of the car (which was painted with "just divorced") and spray painted my private areas orange.

Need a party planner???

Breaking up is hard to do

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