Just thought I would share this series of communiques between myself and one budnik1 <[email protected]>
I received the following unsolicted email to my Quotes email address, with budnik1 marked as the return address:
We wonder if you would like to acquire a unique Christian relic associated with the Nativity and created by the Apostles.in 50 AD. Sincerely, UTG-PRI LTD. IsraelMy response was:
Yes, we are very interested. Would you consider a trade in kind from our extensive relic collection? We have many items which you may be interested in and perhaps we could work out a trade. Some of our prized possessions include:budnik1 responded with:Please let us know if any of these items could be considered for a trade for your relic.
- a lock of Samson's hair
- a fully refurbished and restored Noah's Ark
- the Ark of the Covenant
- the Holy Grail
- Christ the Messiah (we keep him cloistered in secret location in Brooklyn)
Yes, we are very interested to trade for a) Jehovah in your closet, b) a skeleton of Jehovah Witness pippin through the closet's wall, co) Maria's womb, do) Jesus circumucized genitalia, e) Jehovah's uncircumcised genitalia, f) Jesus' fishes. g) water under Jesus feet h) Star of Bethlehem Halleluiah!I replied with:
You seem to have us at a bit of a disadvantage, as we do not have those items in our collection. However, we have some other items in our collection (not mentioned in our first message) which may be of some use to you. Again, if you are interested, please let us know the details of the relic you have and we can consider a trade "in kind" for one of the following:budnik1's curt response was:By the way, what the hell does "PIPPIN" mean?
- a "Sense of Humour" (which is not sick and demented) Note that a sense of sarcasm (if present) will not be changed by this item, but it will permit the ability to think creatively when attempting to make witty statements, instead of simply "doing the same as the last guy".
- a "Sense of Conscience" (which will prevent you from attempting to scam people with crap by making the untrue and impossible claim you have a "Christian relic associated with the Nativity and created by the Apostles.in 50 AD" Note that this will end a career as a "con-artist".
- Forwarding your address to the Hezbollah (so that you will be part of their special, exclusive "hit list")
GO TO HELL!Which of course greatly concerned me, so I replied with:
Ah, but receiving email from an articulate and intelligent person like yourself, I feel I am already in Hell, or "Hades" as it is known in the "Old Testament". I am growing concerned that there might be some acrimony from you regarding our fast approaching business transaction. Perhaps I have misinterpreted your last email. Was it a clue as to the nature of your "unique Christian relic associated with the Nativity and created by the Apostles" which you are selling? OK, I am always interested in games, let me attempt to guess. Your relic is.... hhhhmmmmm.... let me think.... I know: you have an ancient example of the GOOHF card (as see at http://www.goohf.com/). Oh, joy is you! Imagine being in possession of a GOOHF card that was actually created by the Apostles! This must be the best relic ever known to man! An item if this magnitude and importance is priceless. We will make whatever arrangements necessary, even liquidating our already extensive relic collection, to acquire an original GOOHF card with Apostolic endorsement. Please, PLEASE! Let use know how much you are asking for this item.To which budnik1 came back with:
CONGRATULATIONS!So I responded with:We have just received new items to satisfy your religious meets: Virgin Mary's virginity, Her dietary "My Experience while receiving Jesus front a holy source, Jesus umbilical cord, His personal condom (sorry, it is second hand), Jesus personal invitation to the Apostles to Last Supper, Bred from the Last Supper, Jesus Last Gasp, Jesus' nails, Photo of Jesus resurrection, Jesus personal mobile phone with direct number in Heaven.
Excellent, we can already see your attempts at satire and sarcasm are improving! Keep them coming! (You might want to work on spelling) If you are attempting to offend us, you will have to try harder, since we are atheist and dedicated to the dismantling of the JW religion. We are not JWs, but an opposition group. But you already knew that, before you sent your first scam solicitation email, didn't you Einstein? Why don't you at least give me the details of this supposed "unique Christian relic associated with the Nativity and created by the Apostles"? We are dying to know what kind of scam you are running, as we are always in the market for running a few scams ourselves.Apparently unumpressed, budnik1 sent me the following:
We do not know and do not care what you are a Witness of or in which religious scams you are involved as gentiles and scam of the earth using a former Jew Joshua as your God.Hurt by budnik1's lack of interest in my work, I sent:
Again we awaiting for you to send us information about your "unique Christian relic associated with the Nativity and created by the Apostles" which you mentioned in your first email. So far we have not got around to the business at hand. However, we are concerned that your most recent message could be counter-productive to our future business relationship, but would like to "clear the air". Please tell us more about UTG-PRI LTD. ( Israel). Are you in the business of only dealing with "unique Christian relic associated with the Nativity and created by the Apostles"? Do you also have other relics, associated with other so called "religions" besides "Christian" (for example Muslim, Buddhism, Taoism, and Judaism)? Also, please clarify the following points to help us understand your most recent email, as it did not make sense (I realize that English might be you second language and applaud your attempts nonetheless):Sensing an opportunity to look like a big shot, budnik1 fired back with:We look forward to your ongoing highly intellectual discussion with you. Judging from the detail and clever elucidation in your email, you are obviously a highly intelligent and balanced person with an excellent world view and perspective, which no doubt helps you as a collector of relics and other fine antiquities.
- What is a "gentile" and who are they? Why do you think we are "gentiles" (you don't even know us)
- What, precisely, is the "scam of the earth"? Is it a con game involving bogus garden top-soil?
- Who is Joshua, and why isn't he a Jew anymore ("former Jew Joshua")
- We don't believe in God, so it is impossible for "former Jew Joshua" to be our God. But can you tell us please what group says that this "Joshua" is their God? We have never heard this before, and it is pretty funny so we would like to learn more.
Thank you so much for the opportunity to express myself in my fifth language, albeit I did not steel that language from the English as so-called Americans, illegal immigrants and mass murderers of native Indians did. If you claim to know your first language, you should know (or consult a dictionary) that gentiles are those who are not Jews and involved in a grand scale scam around a dead Jew, Joshua (Jesus in Greek and in your first language), people who in a world scam monopolised Joshua's name, built churches (Joshua never did as a Jewish rabbi) to collect money under the name of Jesus, albeit not being authorized by him to do so (violation of his copyrights and anti-trust law), brainwashed believers and forced people to believe through the Inquisition, wars and destruction and by cutting limbs of the natives and indigenous people to force them into Christianity. Gentiles are also people naming themselves popes and cardinals to molest children, invent saints, incite to continuous murders by absolving murderers' for their bllody money (bribes), etc.Perplexed, I sent the following:
As to doing business with you, with do not deal with people from the street, and since you have called our offer a scam and still want to participate in this scam, you are guilty of soliciting and participating in a criminal offence in men's rea, if you know that legal term in Latin, which is not your second language for sure.
At last, a response from you, my friend. I was concerned that you would not respond. As I mentioned in my prior message, I applaud your use of a language which is not your mother tongue. As I only know three languages (and am truly only fully conversant in two) I am fully impressed at your ability to learn five. Having said that, please note that logical, coherent development, and the ability to form meaningful sentences, combined with the ability to group those sentences into paragraphs, is something that is common to most modern languages in their written form. Your weakness in this ability obviously has nothing to do with your knowledge of any particular language. My apologies if you incorrectly thought my accolades were somehow derogatory on your use of the English language. You obviously have some animosity toward Americans. Rest assured that NO ONE here at Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com is American and also be assured that our offices are not located in the USA or any of it's territories. Having said that, we certainly do not have the same level of animosity you apparently have, based on your comments "illegal immigrants and mass murderers of native Indians did [sic]". Thank you for clarifying your definition of Gentile. Although we were already aware of a Gentile as being the term people of the Jewish faith use to refer to non-Jews, your definition is interesting and says a great deal about you personally and your beliefs. That is why we asked for your definition. Note however that "Gentile" does not automatically mean "Christian" (which is implied by your definition), but rather (according to Merriam-Webster's online dictionary: "a person of a non-Jewish nation or of non-Jewish faith". There are thousands of religions besides Judaism and Christianity, and you seem to be suffering from the logical fallacy known as "false choice". As for "Christianity" being a "scam" we couldn't agree with you more. Christianity is truly the biggest scam the world has ever seen. You yourself have called it a scam. And yet you yourself claim to have a "unique Christian relic associated with the Nativity and created by the Apostles". So which is it? Is Christianity a scam, or do you actually believe in it and have a relic supporting your pro-Christian belief? As for soliciting a fraud, that is only possible if the purchaser ( [email protected] in this example) were deceptively misled into thinking an item was something of value when in fact it was not. Since you, and we, agree that "Christianity" is a scam, and therefore any relics associated with it must also be a scam, we are in agreement that what you have is not, and could not truly be, "unique Christian relic associated with the Nativity and created by the Apostles". Therefore there is no mens rea or "criminal intent" on either of our parts at this point in the transaction. However, since you now admit that Christianity, and by extension, your relic, are both scams, your first email clearly did demonstrate mens rea. Your knowledge of legal terms in commendable, but your incorrect application of them is a cause for concern. We suggest you obtain legal advice in any matters involving the law. So now, back to the business at hand, the transaction for the (now known to be bogus) "unique Christian relic associated with the Nativity and created by the Apostles." You said you "do not deal with people from the street" and yet it was you who approached us. If you can not do business with us, why did you contact us and solicit our interest in the "unique Christian relic associated with the Nativity and created by the Apostles"? So please tell us what you have and what you are asking for it. Tell us more about UTG-PRI LTD. and explain your terms of payment and delivery options.So, if you are in the market for a "unique Christian relic associated with the Nativity and created by the Apostles" or would simply like to trade email with an individual that makes my passive hobby of "pushing people's buttons" much easier than it should be, give old budnik1 <[email protected]> an email. He is not a very good business man, but he has the sickest sense of humour I've ever seen... Jesus used condom, indeed! I am sick, but even I have my limits!