Elders are supposed to be loving, caring shepherds. When a problem arises, elders are supposed to be there. Visiting in homes was something the organization always stressed. The body of elders in our congregation, always tried to make home visits at least once per year. It was a time for some elders to get dessert and coffee. Most elders seemed to feel a bit awkward while visiting. Usually after the hour was done, everyone felt a relief that their duty was done.It always amazed me that people actually COMPLAINED when they were not visited......Did you enjoy visiting? Did you enjoy recieving the call?
DID YOU ENJOY SHERHERDING CALLS?
by minimus 31 Replies latest jw friends
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Mulan
We had a total of 3 shepherding calls, ever. I think when the husband is an elder, you don't get too many.
They were boring. One elder said he was very intimidated because we all had more hours in service than he did, including my very elderly mother in law, who lived with us then, and our 9 year old son.
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Amazing
I posted a short series on shepherding calls, and my experience making them as an Elder. As a receiver of the calls, I don't recall but two or three in 25 years as a JW. They were so-so ... but the Last Shepherding Call in my Exit series was a bombshell ... intersting, emotional ... but definitely not enjoyable.
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dsgal
I have been inactive since this past January and have yet to receive a shepherding call.Only a couple of pioneer sisters have been by a few times.The elders haven't even bothered to try and find out why I stopped attending meetings.The "stars" are really on their toes,huh?
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LB
We never had any. When I stopped attending my wife asked her favorite elder why they didn't call on us. He said he thought I was being negative and it wouldn't be a good time for a visit.
There ya go.
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Elsewhere
I *HATED* sheparding calls... the very few I received seemed very awkward and intrusive. When I was the one making the call, it felt equally awkward and intrusive.
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Lin
Personally I found them to be pathetic. For fifteen years I was married to an abusive witness man, and called the Elders many, many times for help. In every congregation we ever attended in each state we lived, the Elders would tell my husband "If you don't stop treating your wife this way, you could be disfellowshipped". Excuse me for yawning....but it got to be tedious. To say that same schpeal for fifteen long years, view my bruises, my tears, my cries for help, and never to actually do what they said "could" happen, really ticked me off. Not to say that I thought his being df'd would actually change his behavior towards me, but if Elders are going to make threats, shouldn't they at some point act on what they say? Elders never came to our house/or my house after I divorced the S.O.B to just "sheperd or encourage". It was always about the abuse, or to tell me after my divorce that I wasn't turning in enough field service time, even though I was caring for my six children all on my own, no child support, no help. They had the NERVE to tell me I should be turning in more time?! HA! No one ever offered to help, no one ever offered to pick up one or more of my kids to make it easier on me to go out in service, no one invited us for dinner to socialize and build "brotherhood friendships", .......yawn..Sheperding calls for me were just plain pathetic. Each elder in each new congregation told me "if I'd been the Elder in that situation, I'd .....". Yeah, whatever. I've heard that bit a million times and grew tired of it. When I finally decided to divorce my husband, the Elder closest to the situation and the C.O that I'd never seen before showed up at my house to "remind" me that I wasn't "free to remarry". Another yawn....I simply told them they can leave. :0) Man, that felt good to tell them to leave! Grrrrrrrrrr
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stichione
I got one last winter because I stopped going in field service last summer. They came to encourage me, since my wife told them I was starting to have doubts. Little did they know I read both books from R. Franz, J. Penton and C. Jonsonn and W. Schnell. Not to mention I was a regular at this site as well as Freeminds, Xjw, Beacon, Shaun's etc. They were sitting at a table will a certifiable Apostate and they didn't even know it. But I didn't spill any beans, I just gave the usual excuse (working hard, tired, 3 kids, house, cut the grass etc.). I guess I'm not interested at this time to get df''d or to da myself. Now they called yesterday, they want to do another Sheparding call! Geeze won't they leave me alone!
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anewlife
I remember one specific shepherding call that made a lasting impression. The week before the "visit" it was announced which bookstudy group would be receiving their visit. We happened to miss that meeting. On Sunday we were there and NO announcement was made. The visit was to be the upcoming Tuesday evening. No call was made, no attempt whatsoever. That following Saturday, mind you 5 days later, this elder calls and starts the conversation off with, "Did you know we were supposed to have a shepherding call with your family this past Tuesday?" I said, "No, I wasn't aware." He then said, "Well it was announced last week at the Service Meeting and then again on Sunday." I then replied, "Well, my son was sick last week so we didn't make it, but we were there on Sunday and NO ANNOUNCEMENT was made!" He then retracted and said, "Well, it must have just been made at the Service Meeting." (A nice attempt at trying to emphasize the point that our meeting attendance was less than desirable!) He then goes on to say that he will be coming on the upcoming Tuesday and would be coming directly after work. (Apparently he was going to do this shepherding call merely as a "duty" and would be coming alone.) He then asked if he had to wear a tie. I said, "No, it did not matter to me." When Tuesday arrived we were all "prepared" for this "spiritually upbuilding" call and I even made the extra effort to "feed" the brother with one of his favorite little snacks. He came in (tieless, of course) and was hospitable as I offered him some brownies and something to drink. Well, after he eats MY food, he then goes into his "upbuilding" talk to me and my husband and our young sons with this opening statement, "Frankly....I'm disappointed in the two of you!" Disappointed, disappointed.....that was all I heard. All I could think of after that was, "This is supposed to encourage us? This is supposed to make us feel remorseful for not being regular at Jehovah's house?" I never heard anything else he said. When he left I was nothing but furious! It left an awful, bitter taste in my mouth.
Needless to say, after venting to my husband for a couple of hours afterwards, we then let the rest of the elder body know what was said and how it was handled. Sad to say, however, they politely agreed with us as this is not the best way to "shepherd" a family, but as this elder was merely a "member of the boys club" he continued to make his rounds of shepherding calls and still does today. Those poor families! My only hope is that he will discourage them as well and they finally see the light one day and get themselves the hell out of that organization/cult!
Cheryl
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Beans
I loved the calls, they were so persistent! It was 2 funny because I just kept refusing the bible study but they kept the conversations going and going. But the calls only lasted a week damn!!!
Beans
Canadian Overbeer