nervous and confused

dazedgrl

Hi, I have been reading post for over a month before getting up the nerve to register. Its been really interesting listening to all of your perspectives. I was raised a JW. My family is what youd call very spiritual. I havent attended a meeting in over a year. I am very confused about what exactly it is that I believe. I have wondered if what I have been taught is the truth for awhile. But only recently had the nerve to ask outloud. Even as I'm writing I'm thinking in the back of my mind, what am I doing posting on a site like this? The big A has always been a scary word. But one of my biggest dilema's has been..... Why do my questions come at such a high price? Why cant i wonder without people questioning my sanity, among other things? Its very hard to stand up to people you have loved and respected your entire life and be honest. I'm very nervous about what to do. I have three great kids and really want to do the right thing by them. I guess I'm hoping that I will get some feedback on why some of you came to the conclusions that you did. Thanks!

Dazedgrl

Lin

Dazed, welcome to the forum. I'm proud of you for having questions and wanting answers! And I understand your mixed feelings about coming to this "A" site. I was confused for awhile too, but this forum has done wonders for me! I hope you'll stick around, you'll learn lots!

I highly recommend reading Ray Franz book, Crisis of Conscience. It will help answer many questions for you, some you don't even realize you have yet. :-)

RedhorseWoman

Your reactions are totally normal, and they are the reactions of anyone who is newly released from a cult.

You are always second guessing yourself and wondering if you've made the right decision. Fortunately, with sites such as this, as well as many others, you CAN ask questions and toss ideas around without fear of repercusssions.

When I first became inactive, I still believed that the JWs were correct, but that I could simply not deal with the "imperfections of men". I hoped that I would someday be able to get strong enough to go back. Whenever I attempted to go to the meetings, however, I would experience severe anxiety attacks. Most of the time I was unable to get out the door to go to the meetings, or, if I did, I would sit through the meeting hyperventilating in an absolute panic. Seems that my body and inner consciousness were trying to tell me something. LOL

Knowledge is the key to freedom. The more you find out of the truth about the "truth" the more you'll know that your decision is the correct one.

DJ

Hi Dazed,

Believe me, I know what your'e feeling. You are going thru the same thing that I did and many others here. I do not come here much because for me, there are too many atheists, etc. I would love to chat with you and lend an ear if you'd like. I too, was raised a JW and my family is still in it. I am not anymore and I am married with 2 children. I live in PA. I have a wonderful, supportive husband. I have been away from the Watchtower teachings since 1995-96. You are doing the right thing for yourself and your children!! These steps that you take now are crucial. Don't be discouraged about the TIME it takes to go thru this!! It takes time and patience and prayers. I would be honored to help you take the first steps and be here for you. You can e-mail me [email protected].....I know that you have tons of questions and need answers! I'd be glad to help. Love, DJ

P.S. It is a long hard road ahead......but it is worth every minute.

JT

Why do my questions come at such a high price? Why cant i wonder without people questioning my sanity, among other things?

############

you are no longer dazed or going crazy- you are exp what many of us have

it is like being in a theater and coming out on a bright sunny day it is almost blinding

welcome you HAVE FOUND WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR AFTER ALL THESE YEARS

WELCOME

JUST REMEBER THIS:

A man who refuses to think is a fool,
A man who can't think is a idiot,
A man who is afraid to think is a coward

##########

"I'd rather have questions I can't answer than questions I can't ask (or answers I can't question)."

SYN

Hi Dazed!

There's only thing you must think about, WHY don't they want you asking questions?

It's called INFORMATION CONTROL, and it's the hallmark of a CULT.

Do some reading and research by yourself, for your own sake!

Oh and welcome!

Dismembered

dazedgrl,

It does not cease to amaze me how many are signing on here. Welcome dazedgrl! Just to let you know. Many here have felt exactly the same as you have. You are not alone. Many here have spent decades as JWS, putting all their stock in the teachings of the WTBS, only to be disillusioned,some outnfree, some even Dismembered. Just to name a few So pull up a chair, you have lots to catch up on. Enjoy!

Edited by - Dismembered on 10 September 2002 13:20:49

Edited by - Dismembered on 10 September 2002 13:21:46

Valis

greetings and welcome dazedgirl. Having children involved certainly makes it more complicated, but in some ways simplifies things for you. If you really want the best for them then ask yourself if you want them to end up like you are right now. When they get older do you want them to be able to have questions and express themselves like normal human beings, or do you perhaps want them to live with the constant and ever looming guilt that pervades JW life? That in itself is reason enough to step away from the JWs period. The blood issue should also give you plenty of impetus to leave and never look back. Would you let one of your own die because of a distorted bible doctrine? I wouldn't sacrifice my kids for anything! If you have family and friends you are concerned about then it does become a bit harder, but you have to be strong and exercise real free will. Some will probably not speak to you any longer, but perhaps some posses the humanity to still love you and be a part of your life. One can only hope for the best. Yes there are many Apostates here, but they are niether rabid (for the most part) *LOL* , nor are they simply liars because the Governing Body or a bunch of self righteous bigoted elders say so. They are people with much to share with you about thier experiences, thier feelings, and current lives out and free from JWland. Once again, welcome and we wish you the best.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Darkhorse

Hey Dazed. Hope this site will help answer some of your questions. I am not a JW but wanted to find out more about JW customs, etc. because somebody I know is involved with JW's and I did not know anything about the JW's. I hope my friend is also finding a way out.

It is OK to feel confused, scared, anxiety, bewildered - you are trying to sort things out - this can take time. It is OK to ask a lot of questions.

Another website you may want to check out is Women-Awake. I am a member of it and I am sure some of the other women on this site also are. The site is for women only - especially for women who have left the JW's or those who are trying/contemplating leaving.

I wish you the best and hope your family does not turn against you like many of the JW's I have read about.

Sentinel

Hi Dazed,

Please, do not feel guilty for coming to this site. Your feelings of nervousness and confusion are perfectly normal. But, you have bravely overcome the fear that they have so unlovingly surrounded you with. You are welcomed here by people who really care about you as a person. You don't have to fit the mold of a cult group any more. This site has been a wonderful aid to me; just wish I'd had something like this myself years ago.

Your experience sounded so very familiar to me, nearly word for one as to what began my own personal journey to fully understanding that the WTBTS was "not the truth".

People who have "truth", should never fear anything false. That is, if you have some valid curiosities and questions, it should be welcomed. Instead, they threaten us with being labeled an apostate. From the time I was fourteen until probably 20, I overlooked the fact that I had to keep my concerns and questions to myself. Gradually, this began to eat away at me.

Although I was not raised in the truth, I did get baptised young, and was so in awe and respect for god's earthly organization. That is, until I stopped being a child, and began to think more like a young adult. Then, like you, I lived in total confusion and emotional turmoil.

I can't tell you how wonderful it is and has been, over these years since I left in 1981. Being able to freely expand my knowledge and understanding, ask questions and get answers. Being able to educate myself on things which were considered evil and satanic, and apostate by the JW's.

Their "fear" of us says so much. If they really believed they had the "truth" and were protected by their god, then nothing, absolutely nothing could stop them. But, because they fear anything outside, they must discipline in the harshest of manner, even those who only ask questions. This is so wrong.

I hope you can get out and really enjoy the freedom that human beings were meant to enjoy. How else can we truly find our own individual purpose and fulfillment in living this beautiful life, in the world in which our creators placed us in.

Take care of yourself.

Sentinel/Karen

nervous and confused

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