nervous and confused

by dazedgrl 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • metatron
    metatron

    Dear Dazed,

    If I had it to do all over again, I'd do parenting differently - I'd dump the
    Watchtower, period, because I'm now convinced that they wreck families and damage
    children.

    How so? First, there's extended family members who may be relabeled as 'worldly'
    and 'not in the truth'. Of course, that means God will kill them at Armaggedon.
    Since Witnesses won't celebrate holidays and such days off may be the only opportunity
    to visit/eat/celebrate with them - they may end up abandoned, forgotten.

    All friendship and all love amoung Witnesses is conditional - and can be dumped in
    an instant once a person is df'd - or largely shunned once they are perceived
    as unfaithful to WTS, incorporated.

    Children are taught that God will kill everyone who isn't a Witness - teachers,
    police, friends, babies, etc. They are taught that nothing achieved 'in the world'
    matters because it will all be destroyed "soon". Getting a good education in college
    is discouraged.

    Instead of emphasizing love and compassion, repetitive meetings and a dead 'ministry'
    are emphasized. Witness kids are taught that this is what Christianity is, in effect!
    As a result, teenagers are pushed into rebellions that can be disasterous because
    they "THROW OUT THE BABY WITH THE BATHWATER" - rejecting ALL counsel from parents
    they perceive as fanatics and religious fools who are wasting their lives.

    I could go on BASED ON MY OBSERVATIONS AS AN ELDER AND PARENT ....

    metatron

  • JT
    JT

    As a result, teenagers are pushed into rebellions that can be disasterous because
    they "THROW OUT THE BABY WITH THE BATHWATER" - rejecting ALL counsel from parents
    they perceive as fanatics and religious fools who are wasting their lives

    ######

    DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP POINT

  • mamashel
    mamashel

    Hi dazed! and WELCOME!! I understand your feeling completely. I agree fully with the advice to read the book Crisis of Conscience. This gave me all the answers i was looking for to prove what questions i had about the organization the the "truth". Everyone here is also very helpful and supportive. We all understand your fears, but in time it wil get easier and easier for you. I have 6 children of my own, and i was so afraid to leave for their sake. But I am so glad i did, and the best thing to do is just love on them and love on them and love on them. You are doing the right thing, and your confidence will continue to grow in that you are doing the right thing with time.

    Best wishes in your search

    READ THE BOOK!!!!!

    mamashel

  • DJ
    DJ

    Dazed,

    I keep thinking about you. I felt the same way as you do. It will get better. I left the wt without the internet. I did research in books and prayed. I would also recommend "Crisis of Conscience" to you and " In Search of Christian Freedom."..they are both by Ray Franz. I just finished these! I wish that I knew about these books in 1995 when I began my departure.

    Your fears about the big A are normal...( I think that some people think you mean Apostate, I take it to mean Armageaddon, am I right? The demononic stuff....that is something to be concerned with as well. I think you'll find that a large marjority of people here tend to make fun of demons. It is their own way of coping, I guess. I believe that, in large part the demonic problems with the WT (they have many) are a result of their ties to spiritism. I never would have believed that,,,,,but it's true and documented...as in the case of Johannes Greber and John 1:1, etc..........!

    You can get copies of these books thru www.freeminds.org Randy is a wonderful help! Don't forget to e-mail me....I listed my address in my 1st post above. Please put something in the subject line that I'll recognize......like....jw or xjw? Otherwise, I may delete you by mistake. I get some trashy e-mails. OK?

    I would also highly recommend books by David Reed such as, Jehovah's Witnesses Subject by Subject and another called Verse by Verse. These were a tremendous help to me! Most of all, don't forget to pray for guidance in seeing the real truth...which is not the WT but it is Jesus!! dj

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    Hi, dazedgrl!

    If I had a dollar for every time I put "Jehovah's Witnesses" in a search engine and then just stared at the results, being afraid to click on a hyperlink, ANY hyperlink (except the official site - LOL), well, I'd have myself a nice dinner at Lutece! It took me about a year to finally visit various sites, and this is where I settled in. It's a great place and I'm glad you've finally visited and posted!

    I studied as a teenager and went back after my first child out of fear for her future should Armageddon come without her having one "true Christian" parent. One of the things that made me decide to leave was when she questioned why the Service Committee could override me and another 'mature sister' who were agreeable to her having a study with said sister. She was perfectly right to think it absurd that two grownups would kowtow to these men who barely knew her, when I had decided that a change of pace would help her grow spiritually. It was the last straw for her, I think, but just one of many things that were striking me, too, as unnecessarily controlling.

    I raised four children in the organization, but not one ever really embraced the religion. Because my husband was not a JW, they had a liberal upbringing -- town sports, dance classes, gymnastics, school plays, and holidays with the worldly side of the family. But even with that, there was great guilt and Mom's sourpuss to contend with. Since *I* have finally left, my kids are SO much more communicative and our lives are SO much more fun! We are relaxed where we used to be uptight. We are truly joyful, where we used to fake being "Jehovah's happy people." We can question and cuss and sleep in on weekends! It's great. My daughters were on the varsity swim team and my son just signed up for freshman football. Normal kids, doing normal things. Heck -- my eldest daughter went to Senior Prom and DIDN"T GET PREGNANT that night! Really, dazedgrl, it'll be okay.

    For me, the biggest adjustment was coming to grips with the fact that I was going to die. I am going to die. Everyone is going to die. Armageddon is not "coming soon", so I will not be living through the Great Tribulation (if I ever was good enough to, anyway!). I am going to die, therefore while I am alive, I must live.

    You should, too.

    Welcome to the Board!

    outnfree

  • curiouschristy
    curiouschristy

    Hi Dazedgrl! When I read your post, I couldn't believe the things you were saying... It was if I had wrote it myself. I totaly feel the same way. Isn't it strange to have a religion to make you feel this way, what is wrong w/ this picture. lol. I just signed up today myself and would love to talk to someone else about the way I feel, the things I've been through and still going through w/JWs.

    Feel free to email me! I would love it. Anyone else that would like to chat w/me about being a JW, emails welcome! Mind you, I AM NOT a JW now!!

  • Swan
    Swan

    Dear Dazedgrl,

    Welcome.

    I was raised a JW. My family is what youd call very spiritual. I havent attended a meeting in over a year. I am very confused about what exactly it is that I believe. I have wondered if what I have been taught is the truth for awhile. But only recently had the nerve to ask outloud. Even as I'm writing I'm thinking in the back of my mind, what am I doing posting on a site like this? The big A has always been a scary word. But one of my biggest dilema's has been..... Why do my questions come at such a high price?

    I too was raised JW. I too was worried about being on an "apostate" site. Then I realized that the label "apostate" is one more way they try and control us, even after we leave. They try and keep us afraid of coming to these sites with the "apostate" label and the fear that if our family finds out that we are "apostate" that it might somehow damage any chance we might of had of re-establishing a relationship with them even further. They also use the disfellowshipping / disassociation / apostate rules as a kind of Tower of Babel to confuse us and scatter us so that we can't find each other and seek healing. After I realized that I decided not to give them that power any more.

    I hope you can have all your questions answered here.

    Tammy

  • gold_morning
    gold_morning

    Hi Daze,

    Welcome.

    First off, what you are feeling is very normal. Actually, you may not know it yet, but it is the holy spirit working in you. You are not an apostate. An apostate is someone that denounces God. IT is the WTS that calls people apostates for denouncing the organization. They are not God... they only make themselves out to be such.

    I was raised a JW since I was a little girl. In the early 80's I was disfellowshiped. I spent 16 years away from God because I believed what they told me. That God wanted nothing to do with me anylonger and that he would not hear my prayers. I believed it was the truth and that I had been weeded out.

    About 4 years ago I started to read the bible again. I could not believe the things I was reading was so different than what I had be taught all those years. Daze, it is not a religion that saves you. NO religion or man can do that. The only way you gain salvation is thru Jesus.

    Acts 4:12 says..... "Salvation is found IN NO ONE ELSE, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved." ...(see, the name that saves us us Jesus not Jehovahs witnesses. They say that....the bible does not)

    Titus 3:5........."He saved us, not because of RIGHTEOUS THINGS WE HAD DONE , but because of his mercy."

    Ephesians 2:8..."For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith----and this NOT FROM YOURSELVES, it is the GIFT of God... NOT BY WORKS, so that no one can boast."

    (see Daze, we are saved not by works which is the oposite of what they teach. All those time card hours reported count for nothing. It is not about the righteous things we do or by the works we do or by carrying a name of a religion. It is a GIFT.... A PRESENT from God. You don't have to do anything when you receive a present. You are grateful for sure.. but you don't have to earn a present. It is given to you in love.

    There is nothing we can do to earn such a great present. Jesus did it all. He said when he died..." it is finished.

    Like I said, it was awesome to read the real truth in the bible. When I came to undersand these things and became christian it was not that I had all the answers all at once..... but rather I finally was rid of the guilt to read the bible and believe what it said even though it was different than what I had been taught. I now had freedom.

    The best thing I can tell you to do is to just read the book of John. Read it like you would read a good book. Get to know the main character (Jesus). I know this sounds silly, but you will be amazed at what you read. As witnesses we knew ALL ABOUT Jesus.... but we never really knew him.

    Look what Jesus himself said....John 5:39......"You diligently study the scriptures because you think by them you posses eternal life.......... yet you refuse to to come to me to have life."( who does this sound like? Remember all the studing of scriptures and teaching gaining knowledge means everlasting life? Yet we never really knew Jesus... like a best friend.

    So please Daze, try and do that for me. Just read the book of John like a good book. ... And don't underestimate the power of prayer. Talk to him just like you talked to us. You will be so amzed at the things that will happen for you.

    Lots of agape love gold morning

    if you ever need me and have questions feel free to e-mail me .... [email protected]

  • AwakenedAndFree
    AwakenedAndFree

    Hi Dazedgrl,

    Welcome to the forum.

    Thanks for expressing you feelings with us here. Shortly after leaving the organization, a sense of guilt surfaced in my conscience. The question: "Where do I go now?" This doesn't surprise me as we were led to believe the Watchtower was the "truth". It took a lot of extensive personal Bible study for me to determine that salvation is not dependent on loyalty to a man-formed organization , but that we owe our salvation to Our Saviour Jesus Christ: Acts 4: 12 : "Furthermore, there is no salvation in anyone else, for there is not another name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must get saved." John 6:67-68 : (67): "Therefore Jesus said to the twelve:"you do not want to go also, do you?" (68) Simon Peter answered him: " Lord, whom shall we go away to? you have sayings of everlasting life;"

    The Internet was a great source of help to me. I'am thankfull for websites such as this one that provided me with the "inside scoop" of this organization, thus leading me to my DA with them.

    Christian Love.

    AwakenedAndFree

  • Trotafox
    Trotafox

    Hi, Daze:

    You'll get more answers OUT than you will IN. Read Ray Franz' "Crisis of Conscience" for starters and then "In Search of Christian Freedom". Nuff said.

    Trot

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