I love all of your ideas. Yup, I figured not to say 'internet'. Also they keep saying 'don't take anything you hear on the news face value'. I heard that from a jW uncle.
So I followed his advice & did my own research.
Planting seeds of doubts- What works for you?
by Cappuccino OC 13 Replies latest jw friends
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Celia
Also they keep saying 'don't take anything you hear on the news face value'.
...But of course, the JWs believe every word they hear in the news about the scandals in the Catholic Church.............
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Sentinel
Planting Seeds of Doubt. This is a good thread.
I've found that one cannot "plant" anything until the ground is soft and receptive, that being the individual and how they accept or reject our seeds.
However, we never know where our "seeds" might end up, if they are not initially rooted where we placed them. They can lay dormant for a long time. The wind can blow them around to another spot we might not even be aware of.
That's why it's important to keep planting those seeds, no matter how unreceptive the ground or weather might be. Things change. People remember. Old seeds do take root. These seeds are just to show how very happy and fulfilled we are in finding our way "out". That we are able to listen to our own conscience and make our own choices. It doesn't have to revolve around discussions of doctrines or beliefs.
As far as what specific "seeds", that depends on who we are trying to reach. My mom has totally rejected me, so there is absolutely no communication. A few weeks ago, when there was, I just tried to show by example how very happy and content I am as a human being.
Mom had all the information about the SilentLambs, the UN, and other things, but she chose not to believe what her family told her. But who knows what she is really thinking deep inside. That is what I would hope for people like her. That whatever things they suppress now, will be remembered later on and perhaps acted upon.
While there is life, there is hope.
Sentinel
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detective
I tend to do two things in particular to try to open my JW(now ex-JW but still deeply indoctrinated) friend up to various perspectives.
I don't talk to much about specific policies of the witnesses. I have talked about organ transplants/blood issue/UN issues in the past but my friend gets very defensive over things. It didn't seem as though those things were getting through to him (although he is technically out now, he's still in the mindset and I'm not sure what straw broke the camels back).
So, I'm trying a different approach now that doesn't involve direct discussion of watchtower policies. Instead, I talk about other religions, focusing primarily on cults and high control groups. We happened to talk about Catholic pedophilia problems the other day and instead of talking about the witnesses, I steered the conversation towards the Amish. I talked about how some "closed societies" take the law into their own hands and then they decide what is appropriate punishment. Then I posed the question as to whether or not the Amish are responsible to their neighbors if they just expell someone for criminal acts and let them loose on society, is it really enough etc etc.
We also talked about the deep demands on time that um, *SOME* groups make. He actively defended the demanding witness schedule. So naturally... I talked about the highly demanding schedules of the Moonies and how they could never quite do enough, never quite be good enough etc. I talked about the account I read in Steven Hassan's book and how it seemed a bit excessive and uh, didn't he agree that it was a bit excessive??? You know, just trying to get the wheels turning.So, I find a couple of things that help keep someone out of the defensive mindset:
1) I draw comparisons to other groups (usually cults) in a conversational manner. I don't say "your group is like this cult", I relay information like I'm telling a story. Relaxed and casual. And if my friend happens to notice that I'm talking about a cult and decides to draw some conclusions on his own, then all the better!2) Also, I avoid cultspeak. I don't use the language that will signal an unconscious connection to the group. I think it could easily put someone back in the mindset. So, I suppose I'd try to avoid loaded language like "the friends", "new light" or "the truth" and find something that I can replace the words with that won't immediately cue the defensive stance!
3) Rephrasing!!!!! In my opinion, this completely helps. I have asked my friend to repeat what he has just said using different words on a number of occasions. I find that my friend pauses and has to THINK about how he's going to say something. I'll say things like, "I'm not sure I understand what you are saying, can you explain it to me?" or "Can you use another example, I'm not sure I'm following you". I've even just plain out asked my friend to use different words, by saying, "can you say that another way?" or "can you explain it again without using that word(or phrase)". I love this one, because I can almost hear the rusty wheels turning at that point! And, it reminds me of why I really like this person in the first place- because they do think!! even if they forget to sometimes and just spew out the party line!
Just some thoughts.