I cant move on!!!!! (page 2)

Guest 77

Intro, aspirin and penicillin can be deadly to some people but life saving to others. If only we had a magic wand to do away with our personal emotional aches and pains, but not so.

I just finish watching Larry King Live and his guest was John Walsh the man who pushed for the 'Most Wanted' program. His seven year old son was kidnapped and killed. It was only 'after' twenty years did he seek professional help, he highly recommends it. He said you need to look at the glass being half full not half empty.

If you have a personal friend that can just listen to you, and I mean just listen, this will be a big plus. For me it was golf and writing my personal experience. We need to seek out the best medicine for ourselves. I wish you the best and allow time to be your friend.

Guest 77

Navigator

You will never be able to move on until you forgive the WTBTS. Do it for your sake, not for theirs! You also need to forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made and let go of the guilt. As others have pointed out, you have learned from the experience. Those lessons may have come at a high price and in a negative way, but you have learned. I doubt that you will ever allow yourself to be ensnared by a cult again as you will be able to spot mind control tactics in a flash. Time will help you heal, but only if you let go of the anger and resentment. Holding on to anger and resentment is hazardous to your health as many on this board will testify to.

bigfloppydog

Sometimes, it is hard to go on in a different direction then you were used to. Hindsight, I am sure alot of us could have had things turn out differently it would have been better. I always think of the wasted years in the org. the guilt I felt when I left was tremendous, not the guilt for leaving, the guilt of wasted years of being controlled by others. It takes alot of time and healing for some to get over all these feelings. I try to meet new friends, keep busy in life to forget the past. It isn't always easy, but then what in life is really easy, you just take one day at a time. If we concentrate about what we left behind and brow-beat ourselves over it, we may never get ahead in life. Life is to short, not to begin to live a happy and content life again, a life free to do what you want.

ugg

i cannot help you,,,but i will send you a hug.......HUG, HUG,,,,AND MORE HUGS....HANG IN THERE!

onacruse

Once again, it just blows me away how much good advice we can find on this board!!!! I agree with everything said above, and would like to add a thought about my own progress in getting rid of the anger....

I've always been and "all or nothing" kind of person....absolute, unconditional, total committment to the whatever I was doing. Fall in love....completely; work to do....till I drop from exhaustion; study for a meeting or class...try to comprehend all the subject matter printed since the dawn of time. Part of the addictive personality that I have and which was fostered by being a JW.

Now, I take each little part and piece as it comes to me, deliberately try to keep it simple, don't over-analayze, and especially....stop myself and say "How do I FEEL about this?" instead of "What do I THINK about this?" And, as I take those issues one at a time, turn them over in my heart and head....try as hard as I can to accept how I feel and let the resolution come naturally, and let myself feel good about that resolution. Losing the indecision, guilt and regret takes away so much of the fuel for anger.

Sorta like having a big ugly boulder right in the middle of the landscape of my life....I've tried to blow it up, I've tried to bulldoze it over the side of the cliff, I've tried to cover it over with ivy and pretend it's not there. Well, none of those ideas worked. So now, each day, and one day at a time, I just go out there with my little hammer and break off a piece here and a piece there, and can go to sleep in peace, knowing that sooner or later that boulder is gonna be nothing more than a pile of dust!

Craig

JT

You will never be able to move on until you forgive the WTBTS

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could you explain this point - i don';t want to jump the gun, perhaps i don't understand the angle you are coming from "Forgive the WT"

help us out here my man

rocky220

i agree with JT, i found that although out since late 70's, i had unresolved anger and resentment,towards my disfellowshipping, but in finding out how inappropriately it was done, i not only am able to heal from the pain caused by the injustice of it but also am able to forgive the Elders for being so sincere yet so misguided and finally free myself of all this baggage!!!!rocky220

LovesDubs

Intro how can you be "over it completely" if you are here?? LOLOL!
The JWs will never be out of your life if you have family in there to constantly remind you of it. As I do. I have taken all my rage and my hatred and my contempt and my loathing...and those are the GOOD thoughts....towards the WTS and redirected that energy into informing others about them and keeping others from becoming JWs or helping them when they want to leave. I know I cant fix my current situation, nor can I blot out my 13 years in the organization. So...Im making lemonade with those lemons. It helps me a lot to know Im helping others. Its like being raped..you cant erase the rape but you can help other rape survivors.

jst2laws

Navigator ,

You will never be able to move on until you forgive the WTBTS. Do it for your sake, not for theirs!

I agree.

JT

This is possibly a subject worth it's own thread someday. By forgiving it does not mean you exonerate them of doing wrong or in any way condone what they have done. I have seen it addressed by more than one author who specialize in healing.

The perpetrators of harm still control us and still hurt us until we forgive them. It is done for our sake, not their sake as Navigator said. It doesn't mean you tell them you forgive them. It involves our fully realizing THEY WERE WRONG and we were VICTIMS but it IS BEHIND US NOW.

I illustrated this with my teen age son who was upset with the way people have treated him. I told him to imagine these hurtful people as Cartman from South Park. This foul mouthed little midget is swinging and kicking at you while his childish diatribe flows from his tart mouth. If we just step back this pitiful twerp can't hurt us anymore. He is so small, so diluted, with no future, no hopes, not even a mind of his own, just reacting. Why hate someone that stupid and pitiful. We can move on, but he will always be a Cartman. Understanding this, why not forgive him and walk away. Its better for our psyche then to stand there and argue and complain about the stupid twerp.

Its not always that simple, is it! Hopefully someone can come up with some authors who approach healing in this way.

Really great to see you here once in a while JT.

Jst2laws

Sentinel

Hi There,

I can sympathize with your need to "just live" and stay away from anything that makes those memories of the WTBTS all too real for you.

Sites like this one serve a need for lots of folks. But, everyone is different. If you don't find what you need here, then you do just need to go out and live life. Hopefully, that's what the rest of us do whenever we aren't on here.

The important thing is that if you need us, we are here.

Love and Light,

Sentinel

I cant move on!!!!!

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